Anonymous
Post 06/14/2019 19:29     Subject: Re:ending on a low note
Anonymous wrote:OP I don't know what is going on with your daughter but for 7th grade girls who are having friend troubles, I recommend getting them involved in multiple groups or organizations or clubs outside of the school environment. For example, Some girls might go to Hensom Middle School where they participate in the Hensom School Choir on Tuesdays, the Hensom Scout troop on Thursdays, and play soccer on the Hensom MS team and be on Hensome MS chess team.

Much better to join the church choir, the Scout troop that meets at the American Legion, play judo through the county, and play chess through a program downtown. Don't put all your social eggs in one basket so if you are having interpersonal relationship problems they don't follow you through all your different clubs and activities.


This is excellent advice.
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2019 19:28     Subject: Re:ending on a low note
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:op: Agree, but I spent a lot of money on that school, and I feel almost insulted by what they said.


They should have notified you earlier. Not much can be done at late in the school year.

Fail on the school's part.

Sorry.


Yeah, now that school's out, OP and her partner can't do anything to address possible depression, friend issues, or other issues with their daughter. There's a legal requirement that all help be provided in conjunction with the school. And now that OP's daughter is leaving the school, there's nothing that can be done at all. OP has to just wait until the start of the next school year, at a new school, to get her daughter any assistance. It's have been better if the school didn't tell OP at all, because there's absolutely nothing that can be done at this point. What a shame.


This is 100% not true. Op has medical insurance and can get help for her dd. I don't know where you live that you think all mental health help is restricted if school is not in session.


DP, but I think you missed the sarcasm.


Yep, i missed it! Sarcasm can be hard to read. Hope OP caught it.
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2019 18:34     Subject: ending on a low note
Anonymous wrote:They probably wanted your private school dollars, so waited until they didn't have to participate in an intervention and still get your money. I would try to get help for your dad, but also see how she does in a new environment.


It’s a private school. They have basically zero obligation to participate in any kind of intervention or to provide any services. They notified OP, that’s pretty much the extent of their responsibility here.
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2019 18:31     Subject: ending on a low note
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Dd is 'graduating' elem school (6th grade) from a small religious school. The principal asked us to meet with him (we did yesterday) to discuss her emotional and social wellbeing which he is very concerned about. He said she seems very sad, closed off, and suspicious of her classmates who are not actually trying to exclude her or 'be mean' to her as she claims they are.


They are probably ill-equipped to deal with what she is going through but know something is going on and didn’t want to be irresponsible by just not saying anything at all. Maybe it’s just as simple as a bad friend situation. I would pay attention to what they said though. Watch how she is in groups and out around people. My daughter (who was always outgoing and involved) had a similar situation at the end of her elementary career (concerned teacher / counselor) and it turned into full-blown social anxiety disorder (withdrawing / always thinking people are excluding her and judging her). Schools (large/small/public/private) don’t understand these kids or know what to do with them. It’s on the parents to take charge. She’s lucky to have you.


What treatment did you pursue for social anxiety? Was it helpful?
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2019 18:30     Subject: Re:ending on a low note
Anonymous wrote:Just to say we've been there --sixth grade for our DD was a roller coaster with few highs. Her friends (ALL of them) fell away; her body changed dramatically; etc.
The school said/did nothing (first year of middle school). Now we're at the end of 7th grade and she is emerging from the tunnel.
Good luck, OP.
At least the school met with you--yes, too late for them to do anything, but you can try to have a good summer with her. If she has "old" friends that have disappeared, try to reconnect? If she wants alone time, walking/hiking is good, even if she walks ahead with earphones on. Outdoors, physical activity, a few nice restaurant meals; don't push anything.
The world is changing and as far as they can tell, not changing for the better.


What do you think helped her get to the other side of it?
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2019 18:15     Subject: ending on a low note
Hi OP - just here saying I'm sorry this happened to you and please hang in there and love your daughter for who she is (which you are!). As the mom of a girl who had a rough ES experience, they do come out of it. I do wish I had pursued therapy for my DD. At the very least, a social skills class. She is a junior in HS and has a nice network of friends. But she still has difficulty breaking into new friendships. It can be heartbreaking as a parent, wondering how to help.
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2019 18:14     Subject: Re:ending on a low note
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:op: Agree, but I spent a lot of money on that school, and I feel almost insulted by what they said.


They should have notified you earlier. Not much can be done at late in the school year.

Fail on the school's part.

Sorry.


Yeah, now that school's out, OP and her partner can't do anything to address possible depression, friend issues, or other issues with their daughter. There's a legal requirement that all help be provided in conjunction with the school. And now that OP's daughter is leaving the school, there's nothing that can be done at all. OP has to just wait until the start of the next school year, at a new school, to get her daughter any assistance. It's have been better if the school didn't tell OP at all, because there's absolutely nothing that can be done at this point. What a shame.


This is 100% not true. Op has medical insurance and can get help for her dd. I don't know where you live that you think all mental health help is restricted if school is not in session.


DP, but I think you missed the sarcasm.
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2019 18:06     Subject: Re:ending on a low note
OP I don't know what is going on with your daughter but for 7th grade girls who are having friend troubles, I recommend getting them involved in multiple groups or organizations or clubs outside of the school environment. For example, Some girls might go to Hensom Middle School where they participate in the Hensom School Choir on Tuesdays, the Hensom Scout troop on Thursdays, and play soccer on the Hensom MS team and be on Hensome MS chess team.

Much better to join the church choir, the Scout troop that meets at the American Legion, play judo through the county, and play chess through a program downtown. Don't put all your social eggs in one basket so if you are having interpersonal relationship problems they don't follow you through all your different clubs and activities.
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2019 17:32     Subject: ending on a low note
I think it's a CYA. They probably were mean to her and now the school is gaslighting.
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2019 17:28     Subject: ending on a low note
Sounds to me that they are mentioning this because they’re aware that she is moving from their sheltered environment (where she presumably knows everyone and they know her) and want you to be aware of some things they think you could see in a new environment. I don’t see the issue. She was “fine” there but a change could exacerbate some of her developing quirks. I think it was nice of them to help you realize that this next change could bring challenges you were not anticipating.
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2019 16:50     Subject: ending on a low note
Anonymous wrote:They probably wanted your private school dollars, so waited until they didn't have to participate in an intervention and still get your money. I would try to get help for your dad, but also see how she does in a new environment.


Have you ever had a child in private? You sign a contract the prior year and are financially obligated to pay the next year’s tuition. They will sue you and report to credit bureaus if you don’t pay the balance. They could have told OP their concerns on September 1 and she still would have owed for whole year if she pulled her kid out.
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2019 16:49     Subject: ending on a low note
Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry OP, it sounds like typical girl puberty to me.


Or possibly a girl with anxiety. I would check into it.
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2019 16:46     Subject: ending on a low note
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry OP, it sounds like typical girl puberty to me.


But if the principal thinks this ONE girl acts this way above and beyond ALL THE OTHER GIRLS, then OP's daughter must be at an extreme.


This is my experience as a middle school teacher. Same with disorganized boys. If we’re asking for meeting, your child is most likely at the extreme end of the continuum.
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2019 16:29     Subject: Re:ending on a low note
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:op: Agree, but I spent a lot of money on that school, and I feel almost insulted by what they said.


They should have notified you earlier. Not much can be done at late in the school year.

Fail on the school's part.

Sorry.


Yeah, now that school's out, OP and her partner can't do anything to address possible depression, friend issues, or other issues with their daughter. There's a legal requirement that all help be provided in conjunction with the school. And now that OP's daughter is leaving the school, there's nothing that can be done at all. OP has to just wait until the start of the next school year, at a new school, to get her daughter any assistance. It's have been better if the school didn't tell OP at all, because there's absolutely nothing that can be done at this point. What a shame.


This is 100% not true. Op has medical insurance and can get help for her dd. I don't know where you live that you think all mental health help is restricted if school is not in session.


Wow, you're right! There IS something that can be done.

Wait, does that mean that the PP was wrong when she said, "Not much can be done at late in the school year"?

And the OP is misguided when she was complaining about the school raising the issue with her in the last week of school?

Huh. How about that.
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2019 16:29     Subject: Re:ending on a low note
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:op: I told dd she has to see a therapist, I will let her pick the therapist. Does the moderator for this board remove "Moron" namecalling?


NP. I reported it.

Thanks. That was nice of you.