Thanks for all the suggestions. I will look into them. The only one I don’t think is remotely feasible is expecting that my one year old in particular can/ will understand and follow rules regarding a dog.

It’s their house (which I bought them so that they’d have a nice place to live and no financial worries as they age). But, I try to treat it as their house so fundamentally it’s up to them as to how to handle the dog. I really do appreciate the comments to trust my judgement, since that can be hard to do as a parent, and especially as someone who knows very little about dogs!

Anonymous wrote:Dog rescuer here. Your obligation is to protect your children. NO visit if that dog is around.

This times a million.

I have family who are not respectful of my children with their dogs. They have multiple little dogs, and they seem to think it's "fine". A little dog can still hurt a child. They lock them away for 3 minutes and then someone wanders over and lets them out "because they are whining". It drives me INSANE. I am doing my best to tell my children that those dogs are mean and to stay away from them, but it's requires constant vigilance when I'm around them. I am always asking where the dogs are and tracking my 2 year old or holding him. IT SUCKS.

We do our best to minimize the amount of time we spend with these relatives because of it. If they want to choose dogs over people, that's their right. But not at the expense of my children's safety.

What do you do when the dog approaches?

Do you pet it and try to be nice?

or are you firm and say down.

I have 2 people in my life my dog jumps on and every time they come to my house they just start saying his name and saying good dog, good dog in some sing songy voice and I'm like STOP! They are basically calling my dog over to play. Funny I have taught their youngest son who is only 7... to say "down" as soon as he approaches and he lays down. Then his mom is like okay fido, nice dog, nice dog and he gets up and starts licking her. I'm like... can you stop ... just ignore the dog.

Plan C:

Stay with them but as a condition have them baby proof the dog. You have all valid concerns to worry with two small children so if the dog were about you are right, gates will do little and the carte will be more of a problem then a solution for the dog that is used to be about and besides a kid could put finger through the gate or crate and dog could bite just for fun.

Maybe you can do this:
You can protect the paws by having a dog wearing soft home shoes but the brother would need to have him used to wear so he will not start when you arrive. That will take any possibility of scratching out of the picture. The shoes also have traction so no slipping and crashing into people.




https://www.amazon.com/s?k=dog+shoes&i=pets&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

The second and valid problem is biting that can happen. It is also very easy solution. Any dog can bite a little child in play or out of curiosity if the dog is not used to kids especially and it is very easily preventable not by trusting the dog but by doing something that will eliminate the possibility:

Soft muzzle. Yes, it is not funny at first but dog would rather wear this then to be out of the picture.
It is not that bad, dogs often wear it in public places or during travel so they can not bite out of fear or stress.



Perhaps that two simple solutions will help you to enjoy vacation with the family. They need to do some work, that is for sure but the well being of your kids is a valid concern. Very little discomfort for the dog and a lot of protection for everyone.

I'm sympathetic to not wanting a dog that isn't good with kids around your kid, and your child really needs to be able to follow the rule: "do not touch the dog. You may only touch the dog if you are with an adult, you ask the adult if you can touch the dog, and the adult says yes." Don't touch dogs without permission is an absolute rule like hold hands while crossing the street. I'm not a super strict parent, but this was one of the rules I was stern and unwavering about. You don't want you kid to be one of the many who will run up and grab any random dog on the street.

Dog rescuer here. Your obligation is to protect your children. NO visit if that dog is around.

They board the dog.

Toddlers and dogs don’t mix. A toddler should never be left alone with any dog unsupervised. Even the most even tempered dogs are capable of biting if threatened, which is often what happens when a small child corners them, inadvertently hurts them, or steps on them while they are sleeping. The dog should be crated or gated, and the child should be supervised 100% of the time in the presence of the dog.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You could stay at a hotel, but it kind of sounds like you're looking for an excuse to get out of visiting them altogether.

Actually not at all, I’m pretty heartbroken that they are prioritizing the dog over us. Can’t/ won’t stay in a hotel bc we own the house in question and don’t have even more money to spend on a hotel.

How are they prioritizing the dog? Have you suggested something that they rejected?

And you own the house your parents and adult sibling live in? I think there's a lot more going on here than meets the eye.

My grandparent’s dog bit me on the face when I was 3. It required stitches.
We still visited after that but the dog was always locked away. There were no other incidents and the dog died when I was around 8 years old.
I think separating the dog and the child can work if your parents can stick to it.
My sister in law and her husband try to separate their dog when we visit, but then it barks too much and my SIL feels bad for it and lets him out.

I would posit that a nipe (short, puncture) looks different than a scratch mark from a paw (long line), but who knows. I am assuming here that the dog did not growl or otherwise exhibit aggressive behavior towards your child. If he didn't and you didn't witness the scuffle, it's hard to tell whether it's a run of the mill incident or whether your child is in great danger.

Can you stay at an hotel and supervise the dog-kid situation during the times you visit that house? It will be less stressful than living there.

OP -- your adult sibling, with the dog, lives with your parents in a house that is owned by you??

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry OP, also a dog owner and I think the dog needs to be boarded. Using a system of gates and crates is not going to make you feel comfortable and the adults are constantly going to be having to make sure the dog and your child are separated. We have 2 dogs and they have scratched us when they were puppies by jumping on us. Many dogs bite kids on the face because that is how they correct puppies -by nipping the nose. I am familiar with dogs, good at reading them, and I would not risk this with my kid and this dog. I'm sorry. Invite your parents to come and visit you for a week or two.

Agree 100%

Agree 75%. Their visit should be 4 days at most.

^ oh and when I say our dog is harmless around children, I mean it. It’s based on a lot of experience and working with my dog. I never assume he’s happy to meet any child. I make introduction slowly, gauge the dogs response and the kids’ ability to be under control (not overly excited/grabby). I would never leave my dog, or any dog, alone with a child or make a fast introduction to a child.

Op we have a 5 year old dog that was crate trained as a puppy and I keep the crate for if/when folks afraid if dogs or with a baby come over. Out dog is harmless to children but I don’t expect everyone to feel comfortable. This could totally work with my dog, although I also have a lock for the crate to keep the kids from letting the dog out, which they often love to do.

Basically, whether this works really isn’t a question about the dog so much as the people. Is this a good and responsible owner or someone with a crazy dog they usually don’t keep under control?