Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Intelligent, STEM women don’t pledge.

Sorry to blow your angry stereotype, but we know several chemical engineer majors in leadership positions in sororities.

+1 when you have these hateful stereotypes you miss that many professional women, especially in corporate or leadership roles, were in sororities in college. Since my DD became an XXX sorority I found out many of my women friends, successful professionals, are also that sorority. They do not have an Mrs degree — they have law, financial, business degrees. I did not join s sorority myself because I attended s very specialized school that sadly didn’t have them.

+2 I am a Theta who majored in Math. My best friend is a Chi O who majored in Biology.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the tiered house ranking is the worst part of it. Why would somebody want to sign up for a "bottom house" if they didn't have to? Why would you want that label attached to you?

It’s not an official ranking, but I understand.

PP’s stereotypes are not without merit. It’s not “all” moms and girls, but it’s very southern. Southern culture is just still really into social status and finding every way possible to make sure you know who’s better “bred”/richer/more important than the rest. I live here now. I see it all the time. OTOH, some girls just feel like it makes a big school smaller and gives them an instant social life.

Wow, that's like the very definition of the DC-area. (minus the "better bred")...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Intelligent, STEM women don’t pledge.

Sorry to blow your angry stereotype, but we know several chemical engineer majors in leadership positions in sororities.

+1 when you have these hateful stereotypes you miss that many professional women, especially in corporate or leadership roles, were in sororities in college. Since my DD became an XXX sorority I found out many of my women friends, successful professionals, are also that sorority. They do not have an Mrs degree — they have law, financial, business degrees. I did not join s sorority myself because I attended s very specialized school that sadly didn’t have them.

OMG is all I can say for this thread - I never knew such a thing even existed!!! (Not the sororities themselves...)

Anonymous wrote:Intelligent, STEM women don’t pledge.

Sorry to blow your angry stereotype, but we know several chemical engineer majors in leadership positions in sororities.

OP, I'll give you advice for free.

1) Letters of recommendation. Google the school your daughter is attending to figure out how many letters per house your daughter needs. Does she have any legacies (sister, you, grandmother, aunt, stepmother, stepsister)?

2) Have your daughter work your/her network to secure the letters she needs. She'll need a "rec packet." This will include her resume, a portrait, a copy of her transcript, a copy of her SAT/ACT scores, and a preadressed and postage-paid, large enough envelope for the person writing the rec to mail all the materials to the sorority. If the rec is being submitted electronically, the person might still need a packet. It depends. You can put everything into a pretty folder with a nice label with your daughter's name.

3) Lots of Panhels have Pinterest pages for recruitment. Use these to brainstorm outfits. Go onto the sororities' Instagrams to see what the actives wear. Make sure your daughter understands and follows the dress code for each round, but also make sure she loves the clothes and jewelry she's wearing. Get everything tailored. Have plans for inclement weather.

4) It's important that your daughter goes in with an open mind. She's going to get rejected from at least one sorority she loves and she's going to gradually fall in love with a house she initially hates. She shouldn't listen to or participate in tent talk during rush.

5) There's nothing about rush small talk that can't be practiced at home. She will have the same conversation 100 times in a row, and she just has to look active and engaged and positive. No controversial subjects. Practice how to respond if a situation makes her uncomfortable.

6) I think it's unwise for her to drastically alter her appearance. She has pink hair? Don't dye it natural brown. She likes to wear rings on four fingers? Don't knock it down to two.

I realize the confines of the event encourage artifice, but as much as possible, she needs to be herself.

Tiers exist, but they're hardly the end all and be all of the Greek experience. Better to be oneself at a "lower" house than maintaining an exhausting facade at an "upper" house. Also, the upperclassmen care far less than the underclassmen. And the alumni networking equalizes everything.

Anonymous wrote:I think the tiered house ranking is the worst part of it. Why would somebody want to sign up for a "bottom house" if they didn't have to? Why would you want that label attached to you?

It’s not an official ranking, but I understand.

PP’s stereotypes are not without merit. It’s not “all” moms and girls, but it’s very southern. Southern culture is just still really into social status and finding every way possible to make sure you know who’s better “bred”/richer/more important than the rest. I live here now. I see it all the time. OTOH, some girls just feel like it makes a big school smaller and gives them an instant social life.

Anonymous wrote:I think the tiered house ranking is the worst part of it. Why would somebody want to sign up for a "bottom house" if they didn't have to? Why would you want that label attached to you?

At big Greek schools, it’s better to be in any chapter than in no sorority (or fraternity) at all. The unofficial rankings can change, too, so the “bottom” houses might eventually make their way up. You get the benefits of sorority membership anywhere, and it’s better if you pick the house that’s the right fit. If that’s the newer chapter that might be struggling to get members or whatever, so be it! For example, a girl can put on her resume that she was Treasurer in her chapter of Delta Zeta or whatever when applying for jobs, and a Delta Zeta alumna who reviews her resume would have no idea the reputation of that chapter at a different school.

I think the tiered house ranking is the worst part of it. Why would somebody want to sign up for a "bottom house" if they didn't have to? Why would you want that label attached to you?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What college?

There are campuses where rush is pretty straightforward and this would be massive overkill. And then there are the big southern schools where it may actually be useful.

+1. At a smaller school or a school that is less Greek, it’s not needed. You can find a lot of information on Pinterest/admitted student forums/etc. If the school does formal recruitment in the Spring semester (after they come back from winter break - less common but does happen at some schools), it’s probably not needed there either as your DD will have the whole Fall semester to get acquainted with the chapters on campus.

For a big Greek school though, it might be helpful. But I would still emphasize going into recruitment with a very open mind and not use the the consultant to try to get into one of the three or so top houses. She’ll have an overall better experience if she goes with the best fit house as opposed to gunning for the “top” chapter(s).

OTOH, if the girl is ambitious and really wants a top chapter because she wants that specific experience (social connections and easy access to the “best” guys with the biggest future earning potential), a consultant might be useful.

I say this as someone who knew nothing about Greek Life or how rich people control social networks post college and how disadvantaged you are if you are shut out of those networks.

+1

Especially since everyone knows that college is your best opportunity to find the most eligible mate you can.

And this, right here, is my problem with Southern sororities. The message you send your daughter the the most important thing she can invest in in college— in terms of money, and time and thought and planning and what she should work and sacrifice for— is landing the guy who will ensure her social standing and financial well being. In my world view, you should teach your daughter that college is the time to be investing those things in herself and her studies so that she can have a successful career and ensure her own financial success and social standing. It’s moms teaching their daughters to out themselves second to what “the right” men want. And there might be a useful place for networking and there is nothing inherently wrong with sororities that doesn’t pull resources that should be spend elsewhere.

At heart, many of these SEC sororities are about join the good sorority to meet a boy from the good fraternity so he will marry you and support you in the style to which you are accustomed. You are there to get an Mrs. And your own personal development is second to that. Before you’ve had a real chance to develop. It’s one thing to decide with your spouse auto offtrack and raise kids at 35. It’s another to never develop the skills, or even think about what you want out of life at the beginning of adulthood.

Gee, PP, generalize and stereotype much? Nasty.

The quoted pp is spot on. You are the one who sounds defensive

Anonymous wrote:Sororities were a huge part of the social life at my school when I was in college 30 years ago. I hadn't known that before I arrived at school but I quickly learned and then I rushed because all the girls on my floor were doing it. I remember being at a distinct disadvantage when I was rushing because I didn't know anything about anything. I wish I had known a little bit more about the process, about the sororities themselves and about what sorority life is like before I had done it. I love my sorority, don't get me wrong, but it all would have been better if I had known more of what to expect ahead of time.

I agree with a PP who says to find a consultant who will help your daughter be herself and to find the best fit. A sorority should enhance a girl's college experience, not make it miserable. I remember one girl in my house and other girls in in other houses who faked it to make it but they were really unhappy. That is a horrible way to live.

no words

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What college?

There are campuses where rush is pretty straightforward and this would be massive overkill. And then there are the big southern schools where it may actually be useful.

+1. At a smaller school or a school that is less Greek, it’s not needed. You can find a lot of information on Pinterest/admitted student forums/etc. If the school does formal recruitment in the Spring semester (after they come back from winter break - less common but does happen at some schools), it’s probably not needed there either as your DD will have the whole Fall semester to get acquainted with the chapters on campus.

For a big Greek school though, it might be helpful. But I would still emphasize going into recruitment with a very open mind and not use the the consultant to try to get into one of the three or so top houses. She’ll have an overall better experience if she goes with the best fit house as opposed to gunning for the “top” chapter(s).

OTOH, if the girl is ambitious and really wants a top chapter because she wants that specific experience (social connections and easy access to the “best” guys with the biggest future earning potential), a consultant might be useful.

I say this as someone who knew nothing about Greek Life or how rich people control social networks post college and how disadvantaged you are if you are shut out of those networks.

+1

Especially since everyone knows that college is your best opportunity to find the most eligible mate you can.

And this, right here, is my problem with Southern sororities. The message you send your daughter the the most important thing she can invest in in college— in terms of money, and time and thought and planning and what she should work and sacrifice for— is landing the guy who will ensure her social standing and financial well being. In my world view, you should teach your daughter that college is the time to be investing those things in herself and her studies so that she can have a successful career and ensure her own financial success and social standing. It’s moms teaching their daughters to out themselves second to what “the right” men want. And there might be a useful place for networking and there is nothing inherently wrong with sororities that doesn’t pull resources that should be spend elsewhere.

At heart, many of these SEC sororities are about join the good sorority to meet a boy from the good fraternity so he will marry you and support you in the style to which you are accustomed. You are there to get an Mrs. And your own personal development is second to that. Before you’ve had a real chance to develop. It’s one thing to decide with your spouse auto offtrack and raise kids at 35. It’s another to never develop the skills, or even think about what you want out of life at the beginning of adulthood.

Gee, PP, generalize and stereotype much? Nasty.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What college?

There are campuses where rush is pretty straightforward and this would be massive overkill. And then there are the big southern schools where it may actually be useful.

+1. At a smaller school or a school that is less Greek, it’s not needed. You can find a lot of information on Pinterest/admitted student forums/etc. If the school does formal recruitment in the Spring semester (after they come back from winter break - less common but does happen at some schools), it’s probably not needed there either as your DD will have the whole Fall semester to get acquainted with the chapters on campus.

For a big Greek school though, it might be helpful. But I would still emphasize going into recruitment with a very open mind and not use the the consultant to try to get into one of the three or so top houses. She’ll have an overall better experience if she goes with the best fit house as opposed to gunning for the “top” chapter(s).

OTOH, if the girl is ambitious and really wants a top chapter because she wants that specific experience (social connections and easy access to the “best” guys with the biggest future earning potential), a consultant might be useful.

I say this as someone who knew nothing about Greek Life or how rich people control social networks post college and how disadvantaged you are if you are shut out of those networks.

+1

Especially since everyone knows that college is your best opportunity to find the most eligible mate you can.

And this, right here, is my problem with Southern sororities. The message you send your daughter the the most important thing she can invest in in college— in terms of money, and time and thought and planning and what she should work and sacrifice for— is landing the guy who will ensure her social standing and financial well being. In my world view, you should teach your daughter that college is the time to be investing those things in herself and her studies so that she can have a successful career and ensure her own financial success and social standing. It’s moms teaching their daughters to out themselves second to what “the right” men want. And there might be a useful place for networking and there is nothing inherently wrong with sororities that doesn’t pull resources that should be spend elsewhere.

At heart, many of these SEC sororities are about join the good sorority to meet a boy from the good fraternity so he will marry you and support you in the style to which you are accustomed. You are there to get an Mrs. And your own personal development is second to that. Before you’ve had a real chance to develop. It’s one thing to decide with your spouse auto offtrack and raise kids at 35. It’s another to never develop the skills, or even think about what you want out of life at the beginning of adulthood.

Gross. Just gross.

Anonymous wrote:Intelligent, STEM women don’t pledge.

Untrue!