Anonymous
Post 06/06/2019 15:28     Subject: Re:Everyone thinks I could do better than my husband
Are you friends telling you this because they are sensing but aren't sure that your DH is abusive? I can't see this coming up otherwise.
Anonymous
Post 06/06/2019 15:22     Subject: Everyone thinks I could do better than my husband
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't know what your marriage is like, OP. But with each new relationship comes a new set of problems - no one is perfect. So you may do "better" in your next relationship in some aspects if you divorce your husband. But some other things, including good things you possibly took for granted, may be absent. Several of my friends have divorced and remarried, all are happy overall, but the general verdict is that if they knew then what they know now, they probably would've tried a little harder and longer to make marriage to husband #1 work...


That's interesting, and so true. My friends first husband died so no choice, and her 2nd marriage was pretty bad with the steps, in-laws, ex-in-laws, ex etc. etc. Most of the other ones are trying hard to survive with those same horrible problems.


The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence but when you finally get there you keep stepping in the cow dung that made the grass so green.
Anonymous
Post 06/06/2019 15:19     Subject: Everyone thinks I could do better than my husband
Anonymous wrote:I don't know what your marriage is like, OP. But with each new relationship comes a new set of problems - no one is perfect. So you may do "better" in your next relationship in some aspects if you divorce your husband. But some other things, including good things you possibly took for granted, may be absent. Several of my friends have divorced and remarried, all are happy overall, but the general verdict is that if they knew then what they know now, they probably would've tried a little harder and longer to make marriage to husband #1 work...


That's interesting, and so true. My friends first husband died so no choice, and her 2nd marriage was pretty bad with the steps, in-laws, ex-in-laws, ex etc. etc. Most of the other ones are trying hard to survive with those same horrible problems.
Anonymous
Post 06/06/2019 15:09     Subject: Everyone thinks I could do better than my husband
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If no kids GET OUT!


Take a very close look at your IN=laws, this is what your husband will be in decade or so..


Mine are dead!
Anonymous
Post 06/06/2019 13:44     Subject: Everyone thinks I could do better than my husband
I don't know what your marriage is like, OP. But with each new relationship comes a new set of problems - no one is perfect. So you may do "better" in your next relationship in some aspects if you divorce your husband. But some other things, including good things you possibly took for granted, may be absent. Several of my friends have divorced and remarried, all are happy overall, but the general verdict is that if they knew then what they know now, they probably would've tried a little harder and longer to make marriage to husband #1 work...
Anonymous
Post 06/06/2019 13:40     Subject: Everyone thinks I could do better than my husband
Anonymous wrote:I settled. My in laws are awful emotionally abusive people. It has killed my self esteem. My husband takes their side. My friends and family think I could do better.

My marriage is ok and I’m happy about 40% of the time.

I don’t know if I can even do better so why would I mess up my stability?


Just from reading your post I think your husband could do better. Wow.
Anonymous
Post 06/06/2019 13:37     Subject: Everyone thinks I could do better than my husband
Anonymous wrote:I settled. My in laws are awful emotionally abusive people. It has killed my self esteem. My husband takes their side. My friends and family think I could do better.

My marriage is ok and I’m happy about 40% of the time.

I don’t know if I can even do better so why would I mess up my stability?

You apparently don't own your self esteem and it's past time to take that ownership back.
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2019 23:44     Subject: Everyone thinks I could do better than my husband
Anonymous wrote:If no kids GET OUT!


Take a very close look at your IN=laws, this is what your husband will be in decade or so..
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2019 23:40     Subject: Everyone thinks I could do better than my husband
Forty percent....??!

Yikes.
You are selling yourself short!!!!!
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2019 17:41     Subject: Re:Everyone thinks I could do better than my husband
40% happy? Here's my math.

Sleep 7 hours - 29% of the day - I'm asleep but I can't say I'm happy

Work 8 hours - 33% of the day - it's OK and pays the bills but I'm not really happy.

Commute 2 hours - 9% - I'm definitely not happy.

The rest of the day is 7 hours and probably 5 of those I'm pretty happy or 20% of the time.

40% isn't bad!
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2019 16:11     Subject: Everyone thinks I could do better than my husband
I'm single at 47 and I'm happy a majority of the time. Maybe life would be even better if I weren't single - who knows?

40% of the time is really sad. If no kids, get out.
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2019 15:10     Subject: Everyone thinks I could do better than my husband
I think it is obvious that he could do better.
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2019 14:38     Subject: Everyone thinks I could do better than my husband
Missing from the OP is how her DH treats her day to day. I mean, how often do you even interact with your inlaws such that it materially impacts your life? If things are generally good with DH just don't hang out with inlaws.
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2019 14:37     Subject: Re:Everyone thinks I could do better than my husband
No one is ever stuck. You are not a tree. Move. Restart your life. I have restarted my life many times, and from where I am sitting right now, on a hill in western Oklahoma looking out over the plains of Texas, I can see forever, and it was worth it. No Guts, No Glory, OP.