Anonymous
Post 06/04/2019 06:46     Subject: Was my BIL rude?
It’s also really rude to the older gentleman. Some older people start to have a hard time remembering/placing people and faces. He’s probably also At home worrying about his memory.
Anonymous
Post 06/04/2019 06:43     Subject: Was my BIL rude?
There are mean people out there. Or people who aren’t mean, but are dumb enough to say mean things. You can’t control them. You can only control how you react to them
Anonymous
Post 06/04/2019 06:36     Subject: Was my BIL rude?
Anonymous wrote:NP. No one is going to say making fun of someone’s weight isn’t rude. It just seems like it isn’t as big a deal as your fixation would indicate and people are trying to tell you that getting over it is your only real option.


+1 OP is giving this guy waaaaaay too much power over her because of her fixation with this. Let it go, OP.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2019 23:34     Subject: Was my BIL rude?
NP. No one is going to say making fun of someone’s weight isn’t rude. It just seems like it isn’t as big a deal as your fixation would indicate and people are trying to tell you that getting over it is your only real option.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2019 22:43     Subject: Was my BIL rude?
Not sure what you're hoping from here. Yes your brother-in-law was very rude and insensitive. And you're worrying about it isn't going to change that. If he ever does make that "joke," turn and look at him and say something along the lines of, "yes, but I can always lose weight, what are you going to do to not be a judgemental ass?"
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2019 21:04     Subject: Was my BIL rude?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'd be worried about my sister and what he says to her to cut down her self esteem.


+1. ThT stuff should not just roll off the tongue like that, he sounds like a jerk who has a jerk monologue going on in his head 24/7.

She says he likes to be funny and say shocking things.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2019 21:02     Subject: Was my BIL rude?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, it does you no good to ruminate on this

Getting people to agree that something was "rude" does not change anything. It does not change anything that's of any importance. It does not help your relationships. It does not make you thinner. It does not help you in any way.

Start focusing on things more important.


I dont want to be thinner. Thanks though.


Yeah, you do. -NP


Not really. I mean I guess if it was easy. But I don't think a 12 -14 is super huge. I can still eat what I like. When I was slim, i didn't have nearly as much fun. It wouldn't be worth the struggle.


If you didn't want to be thinner, his comments wouldn't bother you. I say this as a 12 myself. I eat what I like and have fun, too. But if I focus on someone else's comments about me, I have enough self-awareness to know it's really about how I feel about myself.


Not true. Nastiness is just that, and the fact that OP zeroed in on his motivation and her sister confirmed it says it all. It would have been equally rude if, say, OP had lost a lot of weight. Or changed her hair color or had her nose done. It's like shining a harsh spotlight on someone just for the fun of it.

OP, I hope your sister told him he was out of line.


If someone made fun of my intelligence, I'd laugh in their face and wouldn't give the interaction another thought beyond, "Jim's a jerk."

If someone made fun of my thighs, that would bother me deep down, because that's an aspect of me I'm not comfortable with. Yes, Jim would still be a jerk, but I'd be ruminating on it and focused on it not because Jim is a jerk, but because I don't like my thighs.

Just be honest, deal with your own issues. Either way, all you have to do is shrug, know that Jim is a jerk, and steer clear of him. What's not clear about that?


You are the one who is like a dog with a bone. You keep repeating yourself.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2019 21:01     Subject: Was my BIL rude?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, it does you no good to ruminate on this

Getting people to agree that something was "rude" does not change anything. It does not change anything that's of any importance. It does not help your relationships. It does not make you thinner. It does not help you in any way.

Start focusing on things more important.


I dont want to be thinner. Thanks though.


Yeah, you do. -NP


Not really. I mean I guess if it was easy. But I don't think a 12 -14 is super huge. I can still eat what I like. When I was slim, i didn't have nearly as much fun. It wouldn't be worth the struggle.


If you didn't want to be thinner, his comments wouldn't bother you. I say this as a 12 myself. I eat what I like and have fun, too. But if I focus on someone else's comments about me, I have enough self-awareness to know it's really about how I feel about myself.


Not true. Nastiness is just that, and the fact that OP zeroed in on his motivation and her sister confirmed it says it all. It would have been equally rude if, say, OP had lost a lot of weight. Or changed her hair color or had her nose done. It's like shining a harsh spotlight on someone just for the fun of it.

OP, I hope your sister told him he was out of line.


My sister did tell him he was rude and he got mad and said he doesn't want to talk about it.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2019 20:51     Subject: Was my BIL rude?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, it does you no good to ruminate on this

Getting people to agree that something was "rude" does not change anything. It does not change anything that's of any importance. It does not help your relationships. It does not make you thinner. It does not help you in any way.

Start focusing on things more important.


I dont want to be thinner. Thanks though.


Yeah, you do. -NP


Not really. I mean I guess if it was easy. But I don't think a 12 -14 is super huge. I can still eat what I like. When I was slim, i didn't have nearly as much fun. It wouldn't be worth the struggle.


If you didn't want to be thinner, his comments wouldn't bother you. I say this as a 12 myself. I eat what I like and have fun, too. But if I focus on someone else's comments about me, I have enough self-awareness to know it's really about how I feel about myself.


Not true. Nastiness is just that, and the fact that OP zeroed in on his motivation and her sister confirmed it says it all. It would have been equally rude if, say, OP had lost a lot of weight. Or changed her hair color or had her nose done. It's like shining a harsh spotlight on someone just for the fun of it.

OP, I hope your sister told him he was out of line.


If someone made fun of my intelligence, I'd laugh in their face and wouldn't give the interaction another thought beyond, "Jim's a jerk."

If someone made fun of my thighs, that would bother me deep down, because that's an aspect of me I'm not comfortable with. Yes, Jim would still be a jerk, but I'd be ruminating on it and focused on it not because Jim is a jerk, but because I don't like my thighs.

Just be honest, deal with your own issues. Either way, all you have to do is shrug, know that Jim is a jerk, and steer clear of him. What's not clear about that?
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2019 20:50     Subject: Was my BIL rude?
Anonymous wrote:I'd be worried about my sister and what he says to her to cut down her self esteem.


+1. ThT stuff should not just roll off the tongue like that, he sounds like a jerk who has a jerk monologue going on in his head 24/7.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2019 20:49     Subject: Was my BIL rude?
People on this thread are being unnecessarily mean.

Just be glad you aren’t married to that guy. Also, there is nothing wrong with being in your 40s and not looking the same as you did in your 20s. Everyone ages and changes.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2019 20:48     Subject: Was my BIL rude?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, it does you no good to ruminate on this

Getting people to agree that something was "rude" does not change anything. It does not change anything that's of any importance. It does not help your relationships. It does not make you thinner. It does not help you in any way.

Start focusing on things more important.


I dont want to be thinner. Thanks though.


Yeah, you do. -NP


Not really. I mean I guess if it was easy. But I don't think a 12 -14 is super huge. I can still eat what I like. When I was slim, i didn't have nearly as much fun. It wouldn't be worth the struggle.


If you didn't want to be thinner, his comments wouldn't bother you. I say this as a 12 myself. I eat what I like and have fun, too. But if I focus on someone else's comments about me, I have enough self-awareness to know it's really about how I feel about myself.


Not true. Nastiness is just that, and the fact that OP zeroed in on his motivation and her sister confirmed it says it all. It would have been equally rude if, say, OP had lost a lot of weight. Or changed her hair color or had her nose done. It's like shining a harsh spotlight on someone just for the fun of it.

OP, I hope your sister told him he was out of line.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2019 20:45     Subject: Was my BIL rude?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, it does you no good to ruminate on this

Getting people to agree that something was "rude" does not change anything. It does not change anything that's of any importance. It does not help your relationships. It does not make you thinner. It does not help you in any way.

Start focusing on things more important.


I dont want to be thinner. Thanks though.


Yeah, you do. -NP


Not really. I mean I guess if it was easy. But I don't think a 12 -14 is super huge. I can still eat what I like. When I was slim, i didn't have nearly as much fun. It wouldn't be worth the struggle.


If you didn't want to be thinner, his comments wouldn't bother you. I say this as a 12 myself. I eat what I like and have fun, too. But if I focus on someone else's comments about me, I have enough self-awareness to know it's really about how I feel about myself.


You think his comment was appropriate? Is he rude? That was what I was asking.

Even if I wish I was thinner, it doesn't change the fact that he is rude and inappropriate. Why are you trying to make me the bad guy?


Dude, no. I know you really want excuses to focus on this more, but that's not what I'm saying.

He was rude. AS WE HAVE FREAKING ESTABLISHED. But you are giving him so much power and so much real estate in your mind when you keep thinking and talking and posting and yammering on about this. HE WAS RUDE. OKAY. MOVE ON.

Dog with a bone. Damn. Let it GO.


Now I am trying to figure out where to go from here.

Thanks for playing. Maybe go eat something. You sound very hangry


What do you mean where to go from here? Like, are you going to call your sister and tell him to divorce him?

No? Oh, you're going to say "Hi, Ted" and keep it moving, as has already been established.

What you need to do is move on out this thread. Like, he was rude. M'kay? End thread.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2019 20:40     Subject: Was my BIL rude?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, it does you no good to ruminate on this

Getting people to agree that something was "rude" does not change anything. It does not change anything that's of any importance. It does not help your relationships. It does not make you thinner. It does not help you in any way.

Start focusing on things more important.


I dont want to be thinner. Thanks though.


Yeah, you do. -NP


Not really. I mean I guess if it was easy. But I don't think a 12 -14 is super huge. I can still eat what I like. When I was slim, i didn't have nearly as much fun. It wouldn't be worth the struggle.


If you didn't want to be thinner, his comments wouldn't bother you. I say this as a 12 myself. I eat what I like and have fun, too. But if I focus on someone else's comments about me, I have enough self-awareness to know it's really about how I feel about myself.


You think his comment was appropriate? Is he rude? That was what I was asking.

Even if I wish I was thinner, it doesn't change the fact that he is rude and inappropriate. Why are you trying to make me the bad guy?


Dude, no. I know you really want excuses to focus on this more, but that's not what I'm saying.

He was rude. AS WE HAVE FREAKING ESTABLISHED. But you are giving him so much power and so much real estate in your mind when you keep thinking and talking and posting and yammering on about this. HE WAS RUDE. OKAY. MOVE ON.

Dog with a bone. Damn. Let it GO.


Now I am trying to figure out where to go from here.

Thanks for playing. Maybe go eat something. You sound very hangry
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2019 20:39     Subject: Was my BIL rude?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, it does you no good to ruminate on this

Getting people to agree that something was "rude" does not change anything. It does not change anything that's of any importance. It does not help your relationships. It does not make you thinner. It does not help you in any way.

Start focusing on things more important.


I dont want to be thinner. Thanks though.


Yeah, you do. -NP


Not really. I mean I guess if it was easy. But I don't think a 12 -14 is super huge. I can still eat what I like. When I was slim, i didn't have nearly as much fun. It wouldn't be worth the struggle.


If you didn't want to be thinner, his comments wouldn't bother you. I say this as a 12 myself. I eat what I like and have fun, too. But if I focus on someone else's comments about me, I have enough self-awareness to know it's really about how I feel about myself.


You think his comment was appropriate? Is he rude? That was what I was asking.

Even if I wish I was thinner, it doesn't change the fact that he is rude and inappropriate. Why are you trying to make me the bad guy?


Dude, no. I know you really want excuses to focus on this more, but that's not what I'm saying.

He was rude. AS WE HAVE FREAKING ESTABLISHED. But you are giving him so much power and so much real estate in your mind when you keep thinking and talking and posting and yammering on about this. HE WAS RUDE. OKAY. MOVE ON.

Dog with a bone. Damn. Let it GO.