Anonymous
Post 06/03/2019 17:29     Subject: Selling Hand Me downs?
It is a tricky situation. I gave my friend some clothes and then later found out she was selling them on eBay. I was also bothered by this.

I never wanted them back, but I think I would have preferred her to say something like, do you mind if I sell what I won't use or sell after little Johnny is done with them. Of course I would have said go ahead and sell them.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2019 17:18     Subject: Selling Hand Me downs?
If she asked you if you wanted them back would you have said yes?
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2019 17:18     Subject: Selling Hand Me downs?
Don’t ask, don’t tell, find somewhere less obvious to sell.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2019 17:12     Subject: Selling Hand Me downs?
I don't want what I gift back but it's a little tacky.
All the clothes I have given to friends was with the clear understanding that anything not stained or ripped in use I'd take back and pass on to another friend. Many things have been through 3 kids now and no money exchanged hands.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2019 17:07     Subject: Selling Hand Me downs?
Anonymous wrote:A friend of mine had this happen and she said something to the other mom. Other mom promptly gave her the items back and they are no longer friends.

The other mom definitely should have asked if you wanted them back. Heck, I was gifted a really nice bassinet and before I gifted it to someone else I made 100% sure the original owner didn't want it back. The original owner actually said something to me like, "no, I don't want it back but you should sell it and make some money!" but I didn't feel right selling it.


Someone once gave me some hand me downs and said " I don't care what you do with them when you're done, sell them, donate them, whatever I just don't want it back!" I have taken this approach
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2019 17:04     Subject: Selling Hand Me downs?
Anonymous wrote:How is this different than someone giving you a new bassinet at your baby shower and then you sell it on facebook? Both were gifts


It’s not. Both are cheap and tacky practices.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2019 17:02     Subject: Selling Hand Me downs?
How is this different than someone giving you a new bassinet at your baby shower and then you sell it on facebook? Both were gifts
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2019 17:02     Subject: Selling Hand Me downs?
It’s definitely tacky, but there’s nothing you can do about it. And I also agree with earlier posters that, once you give a gift, it is the recipient’s decision what they do with it. Someone it was similar values as yours would probably give those items to someone who needs them, or at least donate them to a shelter where they (or the proceeds from their sale) could be put to use helping others. But she chose to sell them, and honestly, it’s out of your hands once you give the gift.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2019 16:59     Subject: Selling Hand Me downs?
Anonymous wrote: It’s ridiculously tacky. I am apalled that you’re getting responses to the contrary. If nothing else she should have checked in. Imagine you would have said it was fine for her to sell the items or suggested another person to pass them along to within your friends group. It’s bizarre to me how selfish some people are. I actually I’m pretty broke and still always gift or donate rather than selling something. And I absolutely check before doing anything if its something nice that a friend lent me.

A loan and a gift are not the same. A loaned item, you retain ownership of and expect to be returned. A gift is an item that you retain no ownership of or interest in after you give it. If I give you some old clothes, I don't want them and you are doing me a favor by getting them out of my house. Please don't try to give them back!
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2019 16:52     Subject: Selling Hand Me downs?
It’s ridiculously tacky. I am apalled that you’re getting responses to the contrary. If nothing else she should have checked in. Imagine you would have said it was fine for her to sell the items or suggested another person to pass them along to within your friends group. It’s bizarre to me how selfish some people are. I actually I’m pretty broke and still always gift or donate rather than selling something. And I absolutely check before doing anything if its something nice that a friend lent me.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2019 16:48     Subject: Re:Selling Hand Me downs?
It's completely tacky. My SIL did this; now I don't give her anything. Hand-me-downs go to other friends or to a local charity.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2019 16:42     Subject: Re:Selling Hand Me downs?
If it wasn’t on Facebook, you wouldn’t have known.

I don’t sell things but I give them away. I ask friend if she wants it back before giving away.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2019 16:36     Subject: Selling Hand Me downs?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It’s tacky of your friend.



I agree. What was “gifted” should be “gifted”.

Any gift that carries an obligation is not a gift and should be refused.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2019 16:19     Subject: Selling Hand Me downs?
Anonymous wrote:It’s tacky of your friend.



I agree. What was “gifted” should be “gifted”.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2019 15:36     Subject: Re:Selling Hand Me downs?
Anonymous wrote:OP here,
I guess i am in the minority. I was just taken aback since we have many friends yet who have little girls or who are pregnant who could have used those clothes. Everything for sale was from me except maybe 3 outfits so i don't think it was a case of her not knowing. Especially since everything i gave her was the same 2 brands.

Anyway, i get that i gave them to her, i would just never think to sell those items without asking or letting the person who gave them to me know i guess. It just seemed a bit tacky to me personally.

Thanks.




Disagree here. You gave them to her. That said, if you both know moms to be, or ones with small girls, I too would think that one pays it forward. Maybe she does need the money...