Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you want to be friends with religious people? If so, go for it. On the other hand if you’re just going to roll your eyes (and believe me, you’ll want to) probably not a good idea.

talk about judgy (and I'm agnostic/atheist)

+1

Anonymous wrote:I go to a presbyterian church for this exact reason. It was the only way I could find to meet people our age, with kids our age. We tried a few, found one where we got along with the other young adults, had similar drinking / going out / partying / staying in habits, and were immediately invited in to the friend groups. We do lots of volunteering with them, as well as community fun things - camping trips, Hershey Park, apple picking, baking for the cold weather shelter... No regrets here. And approx. 12% chance I believe in it LOL

Honest question. If you guys attend church for social reason, do you tithe (offering)? Do you join/become a member?

How do other church members view the non-tithed member?

My belief is not as strong as it once was and have not been to church regularly for a long time. I had great time as member of youth/children group in a church setting and would like my children to experience the same. Not sure if I want to join a church and give tithe when I don't believe that much anymore.

Anonymous wrote:I am very interested in starting to attend church for the social network and community that it brings, however I am an agnostic as is my husband. I'm not anti-religious, so I don't think it would be difficult for me to keep my agnostic views to myself, but I'm curious as to whether there are other many other people whose primary motivation for attending church is social, and just bite their tongues and play along when needed.

I’m religious, but I see no harm in this. I know many “trailing spouses” who donate their time, talents, and treasure to a house of worship their DH or DW is devoted to. A friend’s DH has done hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of free legal work for her church although he’s an atheist Jew.

Here's the original post:

"I am very interested in starting to attend church for the social network and community that it brings, however I am an agnostic as is my husband. I'm not anti-religious, so I don't think it would be difficult for me to keep my agnostic views to myself, but I'm curious as to whether there are other many other people whose primary motivation for attending church is social, and just bite their tongues and play along when needed."

Where is OP saying she wants to do good things in the world? I don't see any impulse here to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, house the homeless, comfort the afflicted . . .

Sounds like she's looking for friends, which is fine, but why seek that out by pretending to be something you're not? How do you even make friends that way?

Semi-serious question, have you thought about attending a synagogue? There is the same social aspect and it is less of a big deal if you don't believe in God in the traditional sense. I remember my DH told the rabbi who married us that he struggled with whether he really believed in God and she said just waved her hand and said "Judaism has a lot more to offer than just believing in God." I am an atheist but also a somewhat observant Jew who loves going to Friday night services and dinners at my temple.

Anonymous wrote:You'd be welcomed at my Episcopal church. Even if you're not a believer, it's nice to spend time with other people who generally want to do good things for the world around them.

Same; though I'm at a UCC church. A Catholic church wouldn't necessarily be where I'd start with your particular situation, but I'm sure it could work if you found the right place.

My church would welcome you too. Really any church would. Go ahead and come. Visit a few different churches. See where you are comfortable.

There is no system in place to interrogate church goers about their motives and credentials at mass. This seems to come up pretty often on this forum for some reason. You’re welcome to attend any mass you want, for as long as you want regardless of where you are in your journey.

You'd be welcomed at my Episcopal church. Even if you're not a believer, it's nice to spend time with other people who generally want to do good things for the world around them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am very interested in starting to attend church for the social network and community that it brings, however I am an agnostic as is my husband. I'm not anti-religious, so I don't think it would be difficult for me to keep my agnostic views to myself, but I'm curious as to whether there are other many other people whose primary motivation for attending church is social, and just bite their tongues and play along when needed.

If you're really questioning and seeking, that's cool, but please don't come to church and fake it just so you can have socially acceptable friends. Join a country club instead.

I don't get this weird gatekeeping attitude

OP, you are welcome at my church even if you don't have any plans to believe any time soon. We need the extra help with volunteering, programs, donations, etc

And hearing sermons might help you change your mind

It's not like the OP is going to churches to heckle the pastor or something

Like the others though, I'm not really understanding why of all the options you are interested in the Catholic Church

Are you in a very Catholic area?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am actually interested in attending a Catholic Church, but since I wasn’t raised Catholic, I don’t have the “paperwork” and they will know I’m not an official member of the club. Will they put a lot of pressure on me to take catechism classes? Would it be weird if I were just a permanent attendee without becoming an official Catholic?

Yes.

Yes.

They will also want your kids to be baptized, receive communion, and confirmed as Catholics.

Why is the Catholic church appealing? Even people who were raised Catholic are leaving in droves, with good reason. Why would an agnostic look at this church and think it was appealing in the least? The rampant pedophilia and rape was enough to drive out my friends who are cradle Catholics. I can't imagine joining when you don't seem to have the cultural background or 95% of the core beliefs.

Disregard this poster, that's not how it works. You can attend any mass you want, anywhere. Just don't go to communion. No one is going to stop you from volunteering. I'm Catholic and have been attending mass at several different churches and only and a member of one by virtue of baptism for years and years. You are free to try it out for as long as you want. I don't necessarily agree with what you're doing but hope it rubs off on you.

+1

Anonymous wrote:I am very interested in starting to attend church for the social network and community that it brings, however I am an agnostic as is my husband. I'm not anti-religious, so I don't think it would be difficult for me to keep my agnostic views to myself, but I'm curious as to whether there are other many other people whose primary motivation for attending church is social, and just bite their tongues and play along when needed.

If you're really questioning and seeking, that's cool, but please don't come to church and fake it just so you can have socially acceptable friends. Join a country club instead.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am actually interested in attending a Catholic Church, but since I wasn’t raised Catholic, I don’t have the “paperwork” and they will know I’m not an official member of the club. Will they put a lot of pressure on me to take catechism classes? Would it be weird if I were just a permanent attendee without becoming an official Catholic?

Yes.

Yes.

They will also want your kids to be baptized, receive communion, and confirmed as Catholics.

Why is the Catholic church appealing? Even people who were raised Catholic are leaving in droves, with good reason. Why would an agnostic look at this church and think it was appealing in the least? The rampant pedophilia and rape was enough to drive out my friends who are cradle Catholics. I can't imagine joining when you don't seem to have the cultural background or 95% of the core beliefs.

Disregard this poster, that's not how it works. You can attend any mass you want, anywhere. Just don't go to communion. No one is going to stop you from volunteering. I'm Catholic and have been attending mass at several different churches and only and a member of one by virtue of baptism for years and years. You are free to try it out for as long as you want. I don't necessarily agree with what you're doing but hope it rubs off on you.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am actually interested in attending a Catholic Church, but since I wasn’t raised Catholic, I don’t have the “paperwork” and they will know I’m not an official member of the club. Will they put a lot of pressure on me to take catechism classes? Would it be weird if I were just a permanent attendee without becoming an official Catholic?

Yes.

Yes.

They will also want your kids to be baptized, receive communion, and confirmed as Catholics.

Why is the Catholic church appealing? Even people who were raised Catholic are leaving in droves, with good reason. Why would an agnostic look at this church and think it was appealing in the least? The rampant pedophilia and rape was enough to drive out my friends who are cradle Catholics. I can't imagine joining when you don't seem to have the cultural background or 95% of the core beliefs.

Most honest people would admit that church is a social thing.