Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP's thread has struck a nerve. Lots of defensive MILs jumping in here.

Most mils don't frequent ducm. You know why? They have their own things to do, it is DILs that are utterly crazy. Here is how you all sound: "I am yelling to assert my dominance!" It is appalling how insecure young(er) women are today. I say younger... because you are all old, and it makes it even more appalling. I am not a MIL, and I had a MIL for one year only, long ago, so keep trying.

Anonymous wrote:Go away troll. That is not her perspective, that is you, you, you, being selfish, not understanding and you have so little empathy you can't even fake her perspective. It would be best for our society if you moved to some high mountains and ate berries and deer that died naturally. You are not worthy of a fresh kill!

Anonymous wrote:OP, you all sound super trashy. Keep on keepin’ it klassy!

Anonymous wrote:Hey OP, you might try a little harder on understanding your MIL’s perspective.

Here’s somewhere you can start: Drop the judgment. It’s getting in the way of you truly understanding her perspective.

Anonymous wrote:Yikes. This is you trying to see things from her perspective?

Yeah, team MIL. She should have ripped up the calligraphy addressed envelopes too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL is awful but I've been working hard at understanding her perspective, which is below:

Nothing I ever do is right. I try and try and all DIL does is complain about me. Like when I visited their house as they were wedding planning -- yes, they insisted on living together after they got engaged even though I told them that I was against it since engagements break up all the time -- and I ripped up the wedding invitations before they were stuffed in the calligraphy-addressed envelopes. My vicious and volatile DIL started screaming at me. I did it out of love. I could tell that they were in a bad place. I wasn't against the wedding but it just wasn't the time to get married. They ended up reordering the invitations but they went out late. That's not my fault. I am sorry that DIL got so hurt and so angry. Just to clarify, I'm not sorry that I did it. They had a chance to work through some of their problems because I gave them more time and it all worked out. They should thank me. Now my own DS barely talks to me and it's all my evil DIL's fault. Some marriages are meant to be, like my own, and some are better if they end in divorce, like my husband's ex-wife and my DS and DIL. It's run its course. I love her so I just want what is best for her and I can tell, everyone can tell, that my DS didn't and doesn't love her. Things would be better if she respected my position in this family and understood that a son will always love his mom more than his wife.

What is your MIL's perspective?

This post is super confusing. I took the time to re-read and figured out, but now I wish I hadn't. Dumb, dumb, dumb

Anonymous wrote:Um, you ok, OP?

I mean, your MIL doesn't sound like a gem, but you're the one who came here and wrote this...

Anonymous wrote:OP's thread has struck a nerve. Lots of defensive MILs jumping in here.

Anonymous wrote:My MIL is awful but I've been working hard at understanding her perspective, which is below:

Nothing I ever do is right. I try and try and all DIL does is complain about me. Like when I visited their house as they were wedding planning -- yes, they insisted on living together after they got engaged even though I told them that I was against it since engagements break up all the time -- and I ripped up the wedding invitations before they were stuffed in the calligraphy-addressed envelopes. My vicious and volatile DIL started screaming at me. I did it out of love. I could tell that they were in a bad place. I wasn't against the wedding but it just wasn't the time to get married. They ended up reordering the invitations but they went out late. That's not my fault. I am sorry that DIL got so hurt and so angry. Just to clarify, I'm not sorry that I did it. They had a chance to work through some of their problems because I gave them more time and it all worked out. They should thank me. Now my own DS barely talks to me and it's all my evil DIL's fault. Some marriages are meant to be, like my own, and some are better if they end in divorce, like my husband's ex-wife and my DS and DIL. It's run its course. I love her so I just want what is best for her and I can tell, everyone can tell, that my DS didn't and doesn't love her. Things would be better if she respected my position in this family and understood that a son will always love his mom more than his wife.

What is your MIL's perspective?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll play.

My son met a girl who is a different religion than we are. Mind you, I haven’t set foot in a church in decades and my son hasn’t either. Oh. And my husband and I never had him Baptized in our church, but he can’t marry this girl in her church because all of my friends and family will know that he married someone from her religion and it will be so embarrassing!! No one marries people like that!

Well. They are married now. In my family my mother was the matriarch and we spent every Sunday at her house. So that’s what I will be too. Hey. My son and his wife aren’t coming to spend all day with me every Sunday. What’s going on? They meet me for lunch a couple times per month, but they should understand that we need to spend every Sunday together. All day. They don’t seem to get that. They also don’t seem to want to spend every single holiday with me every year. I mean, true my DIL’s family lives locally, but they should understand that I am the matriarch and every holiday belongs to me. They can spend time together when it’s not Christmas or Easter.

Thanks, OP. That was somewhat cathartic! I could go on and on.

You and OP are not really projecting your MIL perspectives, you are projecting yours through a caricature of your MILs.

and they are doing it in a safe space, so if you don't want to play, scroll on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll play.

My son met a girl who is a different religion than we are. Mind you, I haven’t set foot in a church in decades and my son hasn’t either. Oh. And my husband and I never had him Baptized in our church, but he can’t marry this girl in her church because all of my friends and family will know that he married someone from her religion and it will be so embarrassing!! No one marries people like that!

Well. They are married now. In my family my mother was the matriarch and we spent every Sunday at her house. So that’s what I will be too. Hey. My son and his wife aren’t coming to spend all day with me every Sunday. What’s going on? They meet me for lunch a couple times per month, but they should understand that we need to spend every Sunday together. All day. They don’t seem to get that. They also don’t seem to want to spend every single holiday with me every year. I mean, true my DIL’s family lives locally, but they should understand that I am the matriarch and every holiday belongs to me. They can spend time together when it’s not Christmas or Easter.

Thanks, OP. That was somewhat cathartic! I could go on and on.

You and OP are not really projecting your MIL perspectives, you are projecting yours through a caricature of your MILs.

Anonymous wrote:Hey OP, you might try a little harder on understanding your MIL’s perspective.

Here’s somewhere you can start: Drop the judgment. It’s getting in the way of you truly understanding her perspective.