Jane is really immature but you sound like an insufferable braggert.

Anonymous wrote:House belongs to your fiancée. Stop saying “she/we” bought it.

This.

Millennials.... Ugh.

I was going to say that Jane needs to get over it, but now I wonder if pp are right that it’s maybe either hurt that there wasn’t a conversation/heads up ahead of time or embarrassment in front of mutual friends. I’m thinking if you were a master craftsman and could build furniture and your friend John has been talking about having a dining table built etc, heads over our to Amish country and has a stranger make the table, never a courtesy conversation before and then invites you over along with all your close friends to celebrate the new dining room table - that could seem sort of awkward.

I do think your fiancée was right not to hire a close friend for her first home purchase. But it’s also possible Jane could feel hurt about the way it was done. In the soft skills training I do for work, they talk about how intent and impact are not always the same. To work through a miscommunication with someone sometimes it’s important to acknowledge the impact to that person even though that’s wasn’t your intent.

Realtor here. I totally understand when friends don't want to mix business, but a quick conversation at the beginning of the whole ordeal would've gone a long way. Jane probably feels like they don't see her as a professional and will also look bad in front of their mutual friends since she wasn't chosen. My best friend used someone else to sell her house, and I set up the referral. I did not want anything to damage our friendship, and our friendship was left intact after we made a mutual decision that it was better somebody else represent her.

House belongs to your fiancée. Stop saying “she/we” bought it.

Your fiancee and her family are right based on Jane's reaction. Jane is entitled.

Sorry, there is no chance of another double date.

Anonymous wrote:Jane is an idiot. It is not worth saving that friendship.

Support your fiancée. She sounds great.

+1

When we sold our $1 million plus home in NOVA around 10 years ago we used our daughter’s best friend’s mother as our listing agent. We had misgivings, but in the end concluded that the woman had experience, that the house would probably sell itself anyway, and that it wasn’t worth hurting feelings to make or save a few bucks. Things went very smoothly, and we’re glad we used her.

In this area, you probably need a better buyer’s agent than you do a seller’s agent.

Anonymous wrote:Your fiancée did nothing wrong. Jane is going to need to grow thicker skin if she wants to make it in real estate.

I would never use a friend, friend of friend, or relative as a realtor. IMO realtor/buyer is a relationship that needs to be strictly business because it has the potential to sour friendships.

+1

Jane’s tantrum is exactly why you made the right call not hiring her. She’s completely unprofessional. She’ll either get over it or not, but you don’t owe her anything further.

Anonymous wrote:Jane is an idiot. It is not worth saving that friendship.

Support your fiancée. She sounds great.

+1

This should affirm that you did the right thing by not using your realtor "friend".

Totally agree with all the PPs who agree your fiancé is a keeper and Jane will never make it with her immature thin skin and should never even get referrals from you and your finance for the unprofessional way she is behaving.

I would never, ever, ever hire a friend as an agent. Buying a home is the largest purchase most of us will ever make - it's a massive business transaction not a tupperware party.

I pretty much agree with all the prior PP's, EXCEPT that your fiancee should have talked to Jane BEFORE choosing another realtor.

Talking about the issue in advance would have been more respectful and demonstrated that fiancee valued the friendship.

That said, outcome might have been the same...

I would never want one of my friends going through my financials or knowing them like a realtor would.