Anonymous wrote:I ain't trying to put nobody down or nuthin but I gotta say if you hard pressed to contact somebody after 25 years you must be in a SERIOUS rut.

I mean I ain't a psychiatrist but I'm just saying you got to be battling some serious emotional or psychological problems if you so dissatisfied with the present that you feel the need to that far back into the past.

You can make excuses about it being simple curiosity and what not but way I see it you got issues and need some therapy. That's just my take.

I’m against Op contacting their ex
But I will say, there is comfort in going back to someone you’ve known. It’s harder to trust later, sometimes, and going back to someone who you knew before things were complicated, is something I’ve thought about. I’m with my DH and hope to be forever. But there are certain people I would be very trusting to go back to, knowing they’re a good decent person.

Only if you are both single.

I ain't trying to put nobody down or nuthin but I gotta say if you hard pressed to contact somebody after 25 years you must be in a SERIOUS rut.

I mean I ain't a psychiatrist but I'm just saying you got to be battling some serious emotional or psychological problems if you so dissatisfied with the present that you feel the need to that far back into the past.

You can make excuses about it being simple curiosity and what not but way I see it you got issues and need some therapy. That's just my take.

Ex-boyfriend from college - is this you?

Quick question: which does more of this out of the blue contacting, men or women?

I wouldn't mind. I'm very happy in my marriage. I had an ex I dated throughout high school and college and got engaged to. I'd like to know how he's doing. My feelings are more like he's my brother I grew up with though and not romantic. I'd never contact him, but would like him to contact me.

HAHAHA. Why?

Please don’t. My ex does that every few years and I want nothing to do with him.

Anonymous wrote:My XH’s emotional affair came after an old friend reaching out just to say hi. He and I are divorced now and I remarried, but this flame has continued to taint his relationships with subsequent women.

I think it can be hard to ever completely dig out the hooks of intense relationships. No contact is the best way to go whether or not your marriage is healthy. I am happily remarried, but there’s a second year of college boyfriend that I would not want to bump into because just thinking of that lopsided grin still gives me butterflies twenty years later. I have to imagine him balding with a beer gut to chase them away.

Why is balding always used on here as an insult to men? Baldness is hereditary and by 50, 1/2 of men experience hair loss. I do not have as much hair as I did in college but am in really good shape. I would hope that if an ex looks me up, she would say I am still a nice looking man who looks happy.

Short answer no

Longer answer: they have OTHER people in their life to ask them “how they are doing?” They have built up a life without you, ever since that in-the-past moment where you did not choose them (or she didn’t choose you).

What makes you so special that YOUR reaching out will help them somehow? She’s doing fine without you.

Never

Anonymous wrote:Yes or No?
It has been 25 years since we last communicated.
Should I just wait for the BIG 30?

If you're both single, go for it, sounds like a great idea!

Once and for all, nothing good comes out of these actions. Don't care if you haven't spoken in 50 years, there are always emotions involved. Plus, the other person has long ago moved on. It is not fair to gate crash into their life. Leave them alone. Keep it to social media surfing.

My XH’s emotional affair came after an old friend reaching out just to say hi. He and I are divorced now and I remarried, but this flame has continued to taint his relationships with subsequent women.

I think it can be hard to ever completely dig out the hooks of intense relationships. No contact is the best way to go whether or not your marriage is healthy. I am happily remarried, but there’s a second year of college boyfriend that I would not want to bump into because just thinking of that lopsided grin still gives me butterflies twenty years later. I have to imagine him balding with a beer gut to chase them away.

lol