Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"most men cheat when they are about 45-55 because they are having a mid-life crissis - NOTHING to do with their wives. They are unhappy with their jobs, bodies, sexiual function"

No, most of them are unhappy with their wife and/or marriage. so yes it has a lot to do with the wives.

No, the first person was right. They are unhappy with their LIVES and blame their wives. Quite common.

Coz their wives are always unhappy and made DHs miserable.

She paid attention to me more than my DW did; that’s all it took. My fault? Maybe. Her fault? Maybe. Cheating is about needs and opportunity.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH has a bunch of female friends who I've met and I don't worry that he might be cheating. He's way too family dedicated to put it at risk and we have a great relationship. I still look pretty darn good at 43 and I happily enjoy trying to find my sexual peak and he's the beneficiary.....frequently.

You have done an admirable job of affair proofing the marriage. There would be much less cheating if more wives followed your lead.

Maybe, maybe not. Cheaters gonna cheat; it's who the cheater is.

I’m sure there are some people who are just born to cheat....in many things....but they are the exception. Spousal issues are generally the cause.

No. You shouldn’t blame the spouse for the cheater’s lack of integrity.

It’s not about “blame”. Most affairs come about because a man has pursued a woman (very few women are chasing married men for sex). And why is the man out looking for sex? What motivates him to put in all this effort? The fact is a man who is sexually satisfied at home is very unlikely to pursue an affair. But a man who is NOT sexually satisfied at home is 100% likely to pursue an affair. This is neither a spouse’s fault, nor a lack of integrity, just simple biology.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH has a bunch of female friends who I've met and I don't worry that he might be cheating. He's way too family dedicated to put it at risk and we have a great relationship. I still look pretty darn good at 43 and I happily enjoy trying to find my sexual peak and he's the beneficiary.....frequently.

You have done an admirable job of affair proofing the marriage. There would be much less cheating if more wives followed your lead.

Maybe, maybe not. Cheaters gonna cheat; it's who the cheater is.

I’m sure there are some people who are just born to cheat....in many things....but they are the exception. Spousal issues are generally the cause.

No. You shouldn’t blame the spouse for the cheater’s lack of integrity.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH has a bunch of female friends who I've met and I don't worry that he might be cheating. He's way too family dedicated to put it at risk and we have a great relationship. I still look pretty darn good at 43 and I happily enjoy trying to find my sexual peak and he's the beneficiary.....frequently.

None of that will keep your husband from cheating on you if he gets the urge. Plenty of cheaters had the exact same scenario you described above, and they still decided to cheat. Do yourself a favor and stop deluding yourself.

I think it’s sad that people have the need to go through life not trusting their spouse and always expecting or waiting for the worst. I think that most people who love their spouse and are sexually satisfied have the ability to kill an urge. You’ve obviously been burned by someone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH has a bunch of female friends who I've met and I don't worry that he might be cheating. He's way too family dedicated to put it at risk and we have a great relationship. I still look pretty darn good at 43 and I happily enjoy trying to find my sexual peak and he's the beneficiary.....frequently.

None of that will keep your husband from cheating on you if he gets the urge. Plenty of cheaters had the exact same scenario you described above, and they still decided to cheat. Do yourself a favor and stop deluding yourself.

Right. Cheating happens in bad marriages, but it also happens in what the betrayed spouse thinks is a good marriage. Cheating happens in sexless marriages, but it also happens in marriages where there is lots of sex. Often, the cheater is bored with life, unsatisifed with career, mid-life crisis, etc.

Anonymous wrote:My DH has a bunch of female friends who I've met and I don't worry that he might be cheating. He's way too family dedicated to put it at risk and we have a great relationship. I still look pretty darn good at 43 and I happily enjoy trying to find my sexual peak and he's the beneficiary.....frequently.

None of that will keep your husband from cheating on you if he gets the urge. Plenty of cheaters had the exact same scenario you described above, and they still decided to cheat. Do yourself a favor and stop deluding yourself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH has a bunch of female friends who I've met and I don't worry that he might be cheating. He's way too family dedicated to put it at risk and we have a great relationship. I still look pretty darn good at 43 and I happily enjoy trying to find my sexual peak and he's the beneficiary.....frequently.

You have done an admirable job of affair proofing the marriage. There would be much less cheating if more wives followed your lead.

Maybe, maybe not. Cheaters gonna cheat; it's who the cheater is.

I’m sure there are some people who are just born to cheat....in many things....but they are the exception. Spousal issues are generally the cause.

Anonymous wrote:I had an affair and once it came to light, his wife confronted me and, after some time, we actually became friends. (Long story.) She told me that she’d suspected for a while and could always tell when he’d been in contact with me because he had an unnatural glow about him. As she put it, he loved being in love with me, and he loved being married to her.

He put an end to the affair so they could work on the marriage, but she stayed in touch with me. Partly because we’d become friends and partly to keep an eye on him. So a year goes by, and one day he calls me out of the blue and tells me he has left her and wants to be with me. We stayed together for about a year and it just didn’t work out, because having an affair is such an unrealistic way of being with someone. We were actually really incompatible. I broke up with him and hoped they would get back together but she just could never forgive him. Eventually they both married other people and it seems like they are both with people who are much better for them at this stage in their lives.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH has a bunch of female friends who I've met and I don't worry that he might be cheating. He's way too family dedicated to put it at risk and we have a great relationship. I still look pretty darn good at 43 and I happily enjoy trying to find my sexual peak and he's the beneficiary.....frequently.

You have done an admirable job of affair proofing the marriage. There would be much less cheating if more wives followed your lead.

Maybe, maybe not. Cheaters gonna cheat; it's who the cheater is.

I think that most people have affairs because they are bored. Bored with their spouses, careers, whatever. Yes, some people are narcissists and have affairs for power reasons but I think boredom with the same old is a basic reason why. Keeping a marriage from being boring is not easy and requires both people to work hard to make sure it doesn’t happen. We’ve been married 37 years and we both had great careers, lived in different and exciting parts of the country and really had fun together raising our children. Now we are retired and we are really enjoying our time together and our time apart. And we still have a very active sex life after all these years together as we both enjoy finding new ways to enjoy the experience.

I have 3 friends who did not know their DHs were having affairs and were shocked to learn. Two had DHs who had mistresses...one for 10 years and the other for 12 years. Both of these friends have 3 kids and were busy raising them and juggling work/social obligations. Their DHs seemed attentive and the couples happy. Both friends learned when someone else told them. One learned from the OW and the other from a friend of the OW (and hers). The 3rd’s DH was caught in a 2 year affair when a distant relative some her DH with the OW in another City and videoed it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"most men cheat when they are about 45-55 because they are having a mid-life crissis - NOTHING to do with their wives. They are unhappy with their jobs, bodies, sexiual function"

No, most of them are unhappy with their wife and/or marriage. so yes it has a lot to do with the wives.

No, the first person was right. They are unhappy with their LIVES and blame their wives. Quite common.

Coz their wives are always unhappy and made DHs miserable.

Anonymous wrote:"most men cheat when they are about 45-55 because they are having a mid-life crissis - NOTHING to do with their wives. They are unhappy with their jobs, bodies, sexiual function"

No, most of them are unhappy with their wife and/or marriage. so yes it has a lot to do with the wives.

No, the first person was right. They are unhappy with their LIVES and blame their wives. Quite common.

"most men cheat when they are about 45-55 because they are having a mid-life crissis - NOTHING to do with their wives. They are unhappy with their jobs, bodies, sexiual function"

No, most of them are unhappy with their wife and/or marriage. so yes it has a lot to do with the wives.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH has a bunch of female friends who I've met and I don't worry that he might be cheating. He's way too family dedicated to put it at risk and we have a great relationship. I still look pretty darn good at 43 and I happily enjoy trying to find my sexual peak and he's the beneficiary.....frequently.

You have done an admirable job of affair proofing the marriage. There would be much less cheating if more wives followed your lead.

Omg please STFU
So having an open conversation about sex or the relationship is too hard for poor men?? Dont forget whatever happens it is ALWAYS the woman's fault. Because....penis is the most important thing ever and so is the happiness of said penis.

And pray tell what is the exact number of sexual contacts per week that will "affair proof" a marrige? Show me some data, please.
And please see my story above. B.c 3-4 times per week with BJs wasn't enough. So what is?