Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

The movement of "no sharing" came from the notion that "Share!" basically meant giving what you are playing with to someone else. I do not think that is "sharing".

The problems with these various scenes were
1. Kid wasn't even playing with the ball. He just didn't want anyone else playing with it.

2. You shouldn't bring a cool, new toy like a remote control car to the playground if don't want anyone to see it. I'm not saying you have to hand over the control to my kid, but your kid shouldn't be shouting NO IT IS MINE to everyone.

You are very wrong. A child should not have to share. If your kid breaks the toy, will you replace it? They are personal toys. If someone asks to use your phone, is that community property as it’s at the park and will you say yes?

Then I wouldn't LET MY KID BRING IT TO THE PLAYGROUND. If my child brings a truck to the playground, he has to let others see if and possibly play with it. Or, leave the truck at home. You can't bring something and then not expect anyone to look at it or want to see it.

Do YOU share everything you bring to the playground? If you drive there, and I say "Hey, that's a nice car. Let me drive it" you're going to hand over the keys?

"Pretty necklace. Let me wear it" You'll take it off and let me wear it a while?

Lots of people on this thread are “disagreeing,” but not really. If you bring a toy to a park and aren't using it, you should let others borrow it. If you don’t, which is absolutely your right, you are an asshole (absent special circumstances). It is nice to take turns with others playing with something you bring to the park, but sometimes it’s reasonable not to and you never have to.

Basically, I tell my kids that if they bring toys, they share them. If others bring toys, they ask if they can play with them too/have a turn and take whatever answer they get politely.

In the few instances when toys have been badly broken or disappeared as a result of sharing, I have replaced them (without saying anything about it). I realize that I am privileged to be able to do this, but I don’t want my kids to learn the wrong lesson.

In the few instances where my kids have refused to share, their sibling has gotten a nicer version of the toy. Same deal.

My kids are really good about sharing. Even my 2 year old.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Humans would never survive as a specie if they would teach their young one sharing. Keeping what you found and was yours was essential for survival. Imagine a stone age kid giving away all the food he found. This is an instinct that goes back waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back.
You are going against the natures top survival mechanism. I love sharing and I am very generous myself but everything in it's time.
I believe that brain has to develop first, ethics has to be installed little by little and then when a person is older and has enough, they can and should share.

Odd, then, that communal hunting, communal meals, and living in groups ever emerged.

And dragging in evolutionary psychology is junior-level lazy arguing. By your logic, it would be just fine if your little Larla bashed in the other kids' heads with a rock. MOAR TOYS FER LARLA

Not to mention, it would be totally fine for OP’s kid to find and keep the pink ball based on this logic.

Anonymous wrote:Humans would never survive as a specie if they would teach their young one sharing. Keeping what you found and was yours was essential for survival. Imagine a stone age kid giving away all the food he found. This is an instinct that goes back waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back.
You are going against the natures top survival mechanism. I love sharing and I am very generous myself but everything in it's time.
I believe that brain has to develop first, ethics has to be installed little by little and then when a person is older and has enough, they can and should share.

Odd, then, that communal hunting, communal meals, and living in groups ever emerged.

And dragging in evolutionary psychology is junior-level lazy arguing. By your logic, it would be just fine if your little Larla bashed in the other kids' heads with a rock. MOAR TOYS FER LARLA

Humans would never survive as a specie if they would teach their young one sharing. Keeping what you found and was yours was essential for survival. Imagine a stone age kid giving away all the food he found. This is an instinct that goes back waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back.
You are going against the natures top survival mechanism. I love sharing and I am very generous myself but everything in it's time.
I believe that brain has to develop first, ethics has to be installed little by little and then when a person is older and has enough, they can and should share.

We bring all kinds of things to the park and have zero expectation of sharing them. Scooter, balance bike, basketball, ball and glove, matchbox car- if someone wants a turn, they can ask.

Our stuff is labeled and on a bench with my bag when not in use, so a properly supervised kid will leave it alone.

OP, most kids will understand the idea that something is not theirs and develop the social skills to ask if they can take a turn.

In the meantime, you must teach your kid that they are not entitled to play with other people’s toys. You are complaining about a ball at a playground. Get some perspective- teach your child to deal with adversity instead of complaining about people breaking non-existent rules.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's more fun to share. If you want to play with your toys alone stay in the backyard.

Bull. It’s fun to play with your toy how you want to. It’s fun to play catch or frisbee as a family without some neglected kid butting in because his mom didn’t bring anything for him to do and is ignoring him while she is on her phone. It’s fun to ride bikes and scooters by yourself without giving a stranger “a turn”. And some people don’t have backyards. That’s why they go to a park.

So much entitlement here.

But the OP wasn't about that kind of situation.

Many of us agree that someone actively using their own belonging doesn't need to stop using it to let someone else use it. But leaving something lying in a communal space, and then being angry if someone else touches it is different.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's more fun to share. If you want to play with your toys alone stay in the backyard.

Bull. It’s fun to play with your toy how you want to. It’s fun to play catch or frisbee as a family without some neglected kid butting in because his mom didn’t bring anything for him to do and is ignoring him while she is on her phone. It’s fun to ride bikes and scooters by yourself without giving a stranger “a turn”. And some people don’t have backyards. That’s why they go to a park.

So much entitlement here.

Gee, I don't know; maybe it's preferable to be kind to neglected kids rather than treating them like lepers?

Maybe it's preferable to teach your kid to keep treasures at home and to understand that they need to interact with other children at a park?

We like to bring toys to the park- especially sand toys. I don’t expect my child to share unless they make a friend there and they want to enjoy the toys together.

I do like to be charitable and share toys. One time a bunch of older kids asked to use our sand toys which my kids weren’t using. I said it was fine. But it got awkward when it was time for us to leave and they were in the middle of building a huge sandcastle!!! I felt guilty for collecting our stuff.

Anonymous wrote:It's more fun to share. If you want to play with your toys alone stay in the backyard.

Bull. It’s fun to play with your toy how you want to. It’s fun to play catch or frisbee as a family without some neglected kid butting in because his mom didn’t bring anything for him to do and is ignoring him while she is on her phone. It’s fun to ride bikes and scooters by yourself without giving a stranger “a turn”. And some people don’t have backyards. That’s why they go to a park.

So much entitlement here.

Anonymous wrote:It's more fun to share. If you want to play with your toys alone stay in the backyard.

There are kids who have all kinds of developmental problems and by imposing share rule you are stressing them for no apparent reason
calling it "fun". I don't know kids and I don't know their problems but just on a safe side I don't want to cause any distress to a parent or a child by insisting they will share with my kid.

I don't have any problem with not sharing. For one the kids are attached emotionally to their things just like you are to your car and home and nobody is asking you to share. This is insane. For two, kids spit on the things, sneeze, cough and all that and it is way better to have kid to stick to their toy. It is different in a controlled setting in the family when you want your siblings to share or when you go to a playdate to a house of a kid who is hosting, yes then do share because otherwise it is nonsense. But in a public park? It is a violation of a basic kid right to own a junk.

It's more fun to share. If you want to play with your toys alone stay in the backyard.

It's more fun to share. If you want to play with your toys alone stay in the backyard.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, if the kiddo wants to take a toy to the park, he needs to agree to share it beforehand, or it stays home. I used to practice little lines with him: e.g., "You can play with my car while I swing, but I'd like it back afterward." He got the message pretty quickly.

Ugh, stop with the "kiddo."

+1 million

So annoying. It's longer than kid, FFS. It also makes you sound like a twit. I bet you were also preggers with a kiddo.

Nah. I had a bun in the oven, and I was up the pole.

Sometimes I was just a knocked-up ho, in addition to being a twit.