Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A friend of mine does very little around the house and is a pack rat. Her DH cooks, cleans, cares for the kids when he gets home from work. My DH does more cleaning than I do but I cook so it evens out.

Assumptions/stereotypes are lame.

This was a study. Not a stereotype. Learn the difference.

Thanks but I do know the difference. I was referring to several posts which made it seem like all men were unable to help out around the house. You sound bitter.

I'm not bitter, darling, I'm just a sociologist who happens to work in a similar field. The data is the data. The point of the study isn't to tell the little nuanced anecdotes behind the data; it's to show the data.

My husband and I divide labor fairly evenly, in a way that works for us. That said, the study stands on its own without my personal input.

The data is the data. But the data doesn't say "All women do X. Or all men cause Y." And this report is clear that it doesn't actually understand WHY any of this happens. Just that it does. Where the stereotypes and assumptions come from posters speculating that the correlation is caused by lazy men.

Hey, someone upthread said same-sex couples have the same dynamic, and I am wondering about that! I know a gay male couple, and it is true for them. One feels he does all the work, while the other lays back like the "traditional man," even though he is a progressive guy, it seems like he was just socialized to take that role.

So I am wondering how it plays out among lesbians??

Anonymous wrote:https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/moms-spend-even-more-time-on-housework-when-a-mans-in-the-house-heres-why/2019/05/08/319da006-71ba-11e9-8be0-ca575670e91c_story.html?utm_term=.717a6cd47403

Op-ed in Washington Post is written by/based on a study by a UMD researcher.

Does this resonate with you?

This has been going on since the beginning of time.

I guess we defy the stereotype or study. I loathe cleaning, and we have a housekeeper that comes every other week. In between, it is DH sweeping and cleaning. I do pick up clutter (the endless trail of shoes, backpacks, hoodies, etc. from the teens), but he cleans.

Is there a study about whether men who live with women do more household than men living alone? Or even people living with roommates? I'm a woman and I definitely keep things cleaner and neater now than when I was single and living alone, but I think this is a net positive outcome for me. DH certainly doesn't pressure me in any way and pulls his own weight.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A friend of mine does very little around the house and is a pack rat. Her DH cooks, cleans, cares for the kids when he gets home from work. My DH does more cleaning than I do but I cook so it evens out.

Assumptions/stereotypes are lame.

This was a study. Not a stereotype. Learn the difference.

Thanks but I do know the difference. I was referring to several posts which made it seem like all men were unable to help out around the house. You sound bitter.

I'm not bitter, darling, I'm just a sociologist who happens to work in a similar field. The data is the data. The point of the study isn't to tell the little nuanced anecdotes behind the data; it's to show the data.

My husband and I divide labor fairly evenly, in a way that works for us. That said, the study stands on its own without my personal input.

That’s what dh says when I travel. Apparently I generate more work for him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yet another reason to be happily single with custody. No need for another person to take care of.

Same here. I just teach my kid how to clean so win win.

As long as you all are making your boys do the cleaning, your daughters-in-law shouldn’t have this problem. Correct?

I only have a boy and he has done his laundry, cleaned various rooms in the house, emptied the dishwasher, took out the trash, etc since he was 10.

I’m a single mom to a 10yo boy. He’s been doing his own laundry this school year, he’s responsible for trash and recycle, feeding the pets, and emptying the dishes. I’m working on teaching him to clean the bathroom so I don’t have to anymore.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A friend of mine does very little around the house and is a pack rat. Her DH cooks, cleans, cares for the kids when he gets home from work. My DH does more cleaning than I do but I cook so it evens out.

Assumptions/stereotypes are lame.

This was a study. Not a stereotype. Learn the difference.

Thanks but I do know the difference. I was referring to several posts which made it seem like all men were unable to help out around the house. You sound bitter.

Anonymous wrote:A friend of mine does very little around the house and is a pack rat. Her DH cooks, cleans, cares for the kids when he gets home from work. My DH does more cleaning than I do but I cook so it evens out.

Assumptions/stereotypes are lame.

This was a study. Not a stereotype. Learn the difference.

A friend of mine does very little around the house and is a pack rat. Her DH cooks, cleans, cares for the kids when he gets home from work. My DH does more cleaning than I do but I cook so it evens out.

Assumptions/stereotypes are lame.

Anonymous wrote:DH is a total slob. Definitely less work when he's on travel. No question.

Samesies!
DH usually gets the kids ready to go to school/daycare and picks them up due to my commute. When he is on travel, while it is a lot more work/time spent getting out the door in the mornings and rushing back home—it is easier without him here. Less stuff laying around and everything gets put back in its place before the start of the next day. He’s a great husband and dad, but he’s like a bull in a china shop/Tasmanian devil when it comes to leaving messes behind.

(Some of this is my Type A issues, too, I realize this. I have learned that he might not do the dishes when i’d Like them done, but he’ll eventually get there—usually in the morning.)