If OP is the person bringing dinner, let me offer a few thoughts. Is the recipient of a different culture? Cultures vary in their use of thank yous. In some cultures, the sort of automatic “thank you” so valued in general American culture is viewed as insincere and facile. It is hard for people from such cultures to produce such “thank yous”. Even if the person is from the dominant American culture, is she generally socially inept? Such people may have trouble coming up with “thank yous”.

If OP is the recipient, it sounds like you aren’t really crazy about the friend coming over every week - in that case, tell her to stop.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just in case this is the friend: keep doing this. Even though she doesn’t say thank you, it’s a wonderful gesture.

I don’t agree. OP, if you are the friend, stop doing it.

Agree with pp. stop doing it. (I also think op is the friend, otherwise op would be defending herself).

I’d slowing back out of doing this. Either the recipient doesn’t want/need the help and can’t figure out a way to politely decline. Or the recipient is beyond rude/clueless and probably not someone I’d maintain a friendship with and she’s just using you.

Anonymous wrote:Just in case this is the friend: keep doing this. Even though she doesn’t say thank you, it’s a wonderful gesture.

I don’t agree. OP, if you are the friend, stop doing it.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, if course say thank you. You appreciate her help. You easy the dinner. And even if you didn't, she means well. If you want her to stop, tell her.

+1

OP, WTH?

Ponder why you are upset by this.

Do you feel the gesture implies you are incapable?
Would it be ok occasionally, but not every week?
Is it an intrusion?
is the person controlling?
Are you an introvert?
Were you told this is the arrangement, or asked?
Does it interfere with your ability to do other things you are wanting to do, or you usual evening routine?

Maybe communicate every other week would be better, and then once a month if you would prefer?

But yes you say thank you for the kind intension and effort.

OP, you have 2 choices:

1) Thank her sincerely and even offer a gesture of appreciation such as flowers, chocolates, whatever.

2) Tell her that you don’t need the help and she doesn’t need to bring dinner every week anymore.

Anonymous wrote:... do you need to say thank you for it?

A friend brings dinner and stays for dinner once a week to help me since DH has been deployed. I think she is bugged that I don’t thank her for it even though I never asked her to do it and she doesn’t have to - we do okay on our own. I mean it is nice having another set of hands at bedtime and my daughter loves it when this friend comes over.

Am I wrong in my thinking? We both eat the dinner she brings.

What is wrong with you? Of course you should thank her. You are an entitled a$$hole. I would have stopped helping you after the first dinner.

I think OP is the friend. Hint: she doesn’t want you to come over.

If OP is the friend: stop doing this.
If OP is the recipient: can you explain more why you think someone bringing you dinner and helping with bedtime doesn’t warrant a thank you at the very least? If you don’t want her to do it anymore, put a stop to it. Otherwise you are 100% in the wrong.

Is this post for real? If so, Op, I’m surprised you still have a friend.

I thought you were going to ask if you needed to do some grand gesture or reciprocate - but the words “thank you” have not come out of your mouth?? Shame on you.

Just in case this is the friend: keep doing this. Even though she doesn’t say thank you, it’s a wonderful gesture.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think OP is the friend.

+1

Agree. And she's smart because if she had said she was the friend, DCUM would have trashed her for imposing on a military family.

If you didn’t ask for it and really don’t want her there then tell her stop coming over with food. If you didn’t ask for it but are grateful that she’s there and has been helpful then you need to say thank you. This is not rocket science OP. No idea why your friend keeps doing this without you even acknowledging that it’s a help.

Yes say thank you. Its a kind gesture.