Agree with those who said that you planned the wrong kind of vacation with your family. We have a beach house and love the beach. But my family would hate a week long beach vacation. If we went for a week, we’d probably only beach it three times over the nine days.

Our week long vacations are much more active. We mainly do vacations where we can do some hiking and other activities. When we travel we typically book a lodge in a campground instead of a hotel. No TV and lots of outside activity.

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you just planned the wrong kind of vacation for what your family wants to do. If you are trying to make a burned out DH and a non-adventurous 4 year old happy (plus everyone in between), you are going to have to plan differently. Everyone’s priorities are different. I’ve never had a relaxing adult vacation but as a SAHM with a hard working husband, we know this family life is our reality now so we work with it.

What an imagination on you!! Burned out dh? I didn’t even mention him in my OP. The (then) 4 year old isn’t unadventurous, she’s actually the most fun and down to do stuff usually. Where on earth you got this is beyond me...

Anonymous wrote:Not all beach vacations are equal.

Local beaches: crowds and rough waves.

Caribbean beaches: far less people, fancy chairs and umbrellas, waiters, and calm water plus snorkeling, paddle boarding, etc.

See the difference?

I’m op. We were not at a local beach. We were in the southwest coast of Florida in the gulf. We had taken beach vacations the previous two years as well (since youngest turned 2) and those were fine but the kids were just not feeling it last year I guess. It wasn’t the Caribbean but it wasn’t a massively crowded rough beach either.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds good maybe your kids aren’t beach people. 4 is a tough age, but if they don’t like it, they don’t like it. Go to Hershey Park, Baltimore, etc. we never had a week long vacation when I was a kid.

Americans are so depressing.

Americans are so depressing because (some) don't like the beach and would rather go to an amusement park or a cool city? What?

Not PP, but Americans are depressing because so many do not take vacations of any length. PP commented that when she was a kid, they never had a week long vacation. That is terrible.

Leisure is just as important as work is.

Are you saying that there are no families in Europe who never travel for vacations? Because, except for the very poor, not traveling is a choice, and has little to do with "leisure." I grew up very lower middle/middle class (not DCUM "middle class") and we took vacations every year. They were very inexpensive -- visit relatives who lived near the shore, go camping, drive to nearby cities -- but we left for a week or more. I know very well to do people who don't travel, because they don't like it or at least don't place a value on it. That doesn't mean that they don't have "leisure." It just doesn't involve travel. In fact, I know lots of people who live in more rural areas who rarely travel very far who have way more "leisure" (camping, fishing, hanging out at a local lake/beach) than the well-to-do people in DC. I suspect that there are people all over the world who are like that. I don't understand why you find other people's choices "depressing" just because they are different from yours.

We do several smaller vacations because it works better with my partner's schedules. Like your children I prefer air conditioning and the pool to the beach so we do a bit of both

Anonymous wrote:To be clear, I don’t care if they want to swim in a pool and watch tv. I’m just not paying to take them somewhere else to do it. My question was if anyone has forgone the family vacation, did they regret it?

Yes. Last year we didn't take a family vacation. "Regret" is a strong word, but I would say that I missed it. We were moving and between setting up the new house, etc, it just seemed like staying home would be easier. However, I have a hard time just relaxing at home, and it seemed as though we never got a break from our routine. I think dc spent too much time sitting around the house. I wish that we had taken a vacation, even if it was nearby.

The last time we went to the beach, DC and I probably actually went to the beach 2-3 times. I'm not really a beach person, nor is DC. That's fine, we had a good time hanging out at the pool and reading books. The idea for me is to get away from the house and my "to do" list there. There were people in our family who went to the beach all day every day, and they had a good time, as well. What wasn't as good was when the adults who are "beach people" forced the kids who aren't "beach people" to go to the beach. Nobody was happy.

You're at the stage when the kids need constant supervision, and that isn't as fun anywhere. It will get better when the kids are older, but maybe, in the meantime, you need a vacation that has a little more structure/activity. Go to a city and go sightseeing. Or, maybe take a cruise and send the kids to the kids' club?

Take them camping. That's a great vacation.

Smart move OP. Spend some of the savings on babysitters and have a few summer nights out without the kids. Take a couple of days and call them "family staycation days"- go to the pool, out for lunch and dinner, no housework or projects. Maybe do an overnight to Hershey or something- stay in a nice hotel with a pool and do the park on day one and enjoy the pool on day two.

Ignore the snarky posters that call you rigid, etc.. you are just being smart.

Not all beach vacations are equal.

Local beaches: crowds and rough waves.

Caribbean beaches: far less people, fancy chairs and umbrellas, waiters, and calm water plus snorkeling, paddle boarding, etc.

See the difference?

I would not skip vacation, because I need to get out of DC from time to time. I love the beach. If my kids didn’t, I might still plan a beach vacation, but possibly talk to my spouse about how I want to be able to go to the beach, so maybe we plan to have a little solo time on vacation where each of us can do what we want unencumbered by the kids. Then I get to enjoy the beach without the kids, which frankly is much better than beach time with the kids!

Anonymous wrote:Can the grandparents watch the kids while you and DH get away? The kids could stay at Grandma's and you get a vacay, everyone wins!

This. I'd either pay for a grandma to come stay at the house, or pass through their city on our way to some fabulous vacation by ourselves.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are the kids?

I’ve never skipped completely but I do plan around their needs and interests and sometimes that means not doing what I would want and letting them do stuff that I think is dumb.Your kids may not be beach people, but I also don’t get why you can’t just let them swim in the pool. I’ve been to random playgrounds in every place we’ve ever vacationed, because they just want to play sometimes. One of my kids is a brat about hiking-so I don’t plan outdoorsy vacations where that’s all we do.

People. We went to the beach. It was frustrating to go to a beach and have the kids complain nonstop about being at the beach. Hence, I am considering NOT PLANNING A TRIP TO THE BEACH, which is exactly what you are saying. The only question posed was if you skipped the vacation to stay home and do what your kids wanted on the last vacation , which was just the pool and whatnot, *did you regret not taking the vacation *

Well no, what you said was that your kids didn't like the beach so you're just not going on vacation anywhere this year. Most people don't think that beach trips are the only kind of vacation you can take.

I mean, yeah, the years my kids were really tiny and I didn't get to go anywhere I was climbing the walls. I love traveling, it drives me batty if I don't get out of the DC area a few times a year.

My kids are 8 and 12. We’re going to Hawaii this year. We are NOT staying in a mega resort. My kids would be thrilled to watch tv and go to the pool all day. I found a Airbnb with no WiFi, no tv, and no pool. So their choice is to come along on the outings or sit in apt all day and read a book. Since neither child enjoys reading, I’m betting they will come on the outings. For out last 3 nights, I did book us into a resort where they can play in the pool all day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds good maybe your kids aren’t beach people. 4 is a tough age, but if they don’t like it, they don’t like it. Go to Hershey Park, Baltimore, etc. we never had a week long vacation when I was a kid.

Americans are so depressing.

Americans are so depressing because (some) don't like the beach and would rather go to an amusement park or a cool city? What?

Not PP, but Americans are depressing because so many do not take vacations of any length. PP commented that when she was a kid, they never had a week long vacation. That is terrible.

Leisure is just as important as work is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are the kids?

I’ve never skipped completely but I do plan around their needs and interests and sometimes that means not doing what I would want and letting them do stuff that I think is dumb.Your kids may not be beach people, but I also don’t get why you can’t just let them swim in the pool. I’ve been to random playgrounds in every place we’ve ever vacationed, because they just want to play sometimes. One of my kids is a brat about hiking-so I don’t plan outdoorsy vacations where that’s all we do.

People. We went to the beach. It was frustrating to go to a beach and have the kids complain nonstop about being at the beach. Hence, I am considering NOT PLANNING A TRIP TO THE BEACH, which is exactly what you are saying. The only question posed was if you skipped the vacation to stay home and do what your kids wanted on the last vacation , which was just the pool and whatnot, *did you regret not taking the vacation *

It sounds like your kids are not beach people, at least not right now. Which is fine. Mine aren’t either, and when they were little, they did exactly the same thing as what your kids did. I shared your frustration.

After a couple of experiences like that, I started looking for options other than the beach for vacation. One year we did a cabin in the Shenandoahs, another in West Virginia. The weather was more tolerable for us then the beach was, and that there was plenty of shade and water to splash in if the kids wanted. For my kids, the beach is just too much sun and heat for too much time. These other vacation options were not necessarily what I would’ve chosen without kids, but were very relaxing for my husband and me, and inexpensive.

We also spent a week every year years at Deer Valley YMCA Family Camp in Pennsylvania, which was perfect for everyone.

Consider other options that will work well for the kids, and give you and your husband the break that you need.