Anonymous
Post 05/04/2019 12:07     Subject: What do you do when a teacher makes your child feel miserable
Anonymous wrote:My DD had an abusive 1st grade teacher. Although she is a rule follower and wasn't targeted by the teacher, she was still petrified that the teacher would 'correct her behavior." The teacher reprimanded kids for leaving a gap in the line when walking in the hallway. She would point out that you didn't push in your chair. God forbid you didn't know the five assignments exactly in the correct order and had to ask her or a classmate. SHe was bat-sh!t crazy mean.

I never said anything but gave DD lots of love at school and told her some teachers, like other people have issues and gain gratification by putting others down. I also gave examples to other parents so they knew about her.

Reflecting a few years later, I should have pulled her from the class. I regret that I didn't. I feel it took years for DD to recover and come back out of her shell.

My advice would be to get examples for the principal chat and then pull your kid immediately. If the principal won't let you, I'd be meeting with the superintendent with my examples.


Wait. Asking kids to push their chairs in and to walk in a single file line is mean? Come spend some time in a school to see how it looks when kids can’t walk in a line (especially during a fire drill!). Or when kids trip and fall because chairs aren’t pushed in. Those are normal things for kids to be learning in first grade. Someone sounds crazy here...not sure it’s the teacher!
Anonymous
Post 05/04/2019 11:54     Subject: What do you do when a teacher makes your child feel miserable
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It sounds like your child is not enrolled in the appropriate courses or is involved in too many activities after school if she is staying up until midnight or 1am to complete homework. Next year could she take an easier course and use your phone to access the internet if she needs it for school? We are halfway through the 4th quarter so a teacher change is not going to happen. Have you spoken with her counselor?


NP How old are your kids? This is a typical homework load now.


It’s not typical for an 8th grader to spend from the time they get home from school until midnight to 1am working on homework. I respectfully disagree. OP says her child comes home on mass transit to arrive before dark. 8th grader’s do not typically work on homework for that long.


Where do you see 8th grade? I missed it. Thought it was a high school kid.
Anonymous
Post 05/04/2019 11:50     Subject: What do you do when a teacher makes your child feel miserable
There are two sides to every story
Anonymous
Post 05/04/2019 11:27     Subject: What do you do when a teacher makes your child feel miserable
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It sounds like your child is not enrolled in the appropriate courses or is involved in too many activities after school if she is staying up until midnight or 1am to complete homework. Next year could she take an easier course and use your phone to access the internet if she needs it for school? We are halfway through the 4th quarter so a teacher change is not going to happen. Have you spoken with her counselor?


NP How old are your kids? This is a typical homework load now.


It’s not typical for an 8th grader to spend from the time they get home from school until midnight to 1am working on homework. I respectfully disagree. OP says her child comes home on mass transit to arrive before dark. 8th grader’s do not typically work on homework for that long.
Anonymous
Post 05/04/2019 10:09     Subject: What do you do when a teacher makes your child feel miserable
Anonymous wrote:It sounds like your child is not enrolled in the appropriate courses or is involved in too many activities after school if she is staying up until midnight or 1am to complete homework. Next year could she take an easier course and use your phone to access the internet if she needs it for school? We are halfway through the 4th quarter so a teacher change is not going to happen. Have you spoken with her counselor?


NP How old are your kids? This is a typical homework load now.
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2019 21:44     Subject: Re:What do you do when a teacher makes your child feel miserable
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I told the teacher. I told her, "Are you aware that DD and her friends are all afraid of you? Did you know this used to be DD's favorite subject until she got you as a teacher?"

Her jaw dropped. She sputtered and then shot back with how DD was not completing all the Kahn Academy stuff she was assigning.

Me: Yes, I sent you an email that she wouldn't be able to complete it - she does not have access to a computer at home.
Her: She can use the computer lab at school.
Me: DD is already staying up until midnight or 1am to complete all her homework. I will not have her getting up at 5:30am so she arrives at school having had 5 or 6 hours of sleep.
Her: She can use the computer lab after school.
Me: She takes mass transit and then walks a mile home alone and has to be home before it's dark for safety purposes. If you would like to stay late with DD and then take her home that would be fine with me.
Her: This is very inconvenient.
Me: Yes, it is very inconvenient for me as well, to be a single, working mother who can not afford to give my child a laptop, yet here we are.


Yet you post on DCUM? Something's fishy.


People have access to DCUM at work. Ever think of that?


Why can't you afford to buy your child a laptop? You can buy used or refurbished ones for a low price. It's really critical that your child has one for school. Or maybe you could ask if the PTA could give your child a scholarship to help pay for one.


If OP says she can't afford it, maybe just take her at her word?

Insisting that every child must use a computer to complete their homework is classist as hell. Even if it's just a hundred bucks, some people simply can't do it, especially if they're a single parent.

F
Oh please. Everyone has a phone that connects to the internet. Everyone.


Guess what you can do a cell phone that connects to the Internet? Yup, Khan Academy.
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2019 21:42     Subject: What do you do when a teacher makes your child feel miserable
^and starting off your meeting by telling the teacher that kids were all afraid of her and that the subject was no longer your DD’s favorite because of her was confrontational and not productive.
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2019 21:39     Subject: What do you do when a teacher makes your child feel miserable
It sounds like your child is not enrolled in the appropriate courses or is involved in too many activities after school if she is staying up until midnight or 1am to complete homework. Next year could she take an easier course and use your phone to access the internet if she needs it for school? We are halfway through the 4th quarter so a teacher change is not going to happen. Have you spoken with her counselor?
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2019 19:56     Subject: What do you do when a teacher makes your child feel miserable
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Teachers don't "pick on students".

Maybe the teacher is trying to guide/challenge/push/teach your daughter in a manner that your daughter might not understand or like?

My son's best friend says that their Spanish teacher "picks on him" in class because the teacher makes him answer oral questions or give his opinion when he'd like to just stay quiet and fill out worksheets. My son is in the same class and says she makes everyone talk (which is different than last year's teacher), some kids just have anxiety about it and feel judged.

Maybe there is a second side to the story?

Regardless, summer is almost here. It's over.


Really? My DS has been in a class all year where he complained about the teacher singling him out. He's my 4th kid so I thought it likely the teacher was just challenging him as you say. I encouraged him to work through it, that not every teacher was a good fit, etc. - until a few weeks ago. At that time, a friend sent my DD a video another student had secretly recorded in DS' classroom. It shows incredibly inappropriate behavior of the teacher towards DS. I was horrified. I immediately sent it to the principal and counselor. The teacher was put on administrative leave the same day and hasn't been in the classroom since.

BTW - DS also has anxiety. Your comment about 'some kids just have anxiety' is shows you're as ignorant as DS' teacher. That was one of the reasons she targeted and judged him. You really shouldn't opine on things you know nothing about.


Yeah right.


Something similar at our school several years ago. There was no video but several students reported that they were uncomfortable with the physical contact between a teacher and a student. The teacher was pulled out of class immediately and ended up never coming back. You cannot manhandle students and that what was what this was. A video would be the same kind of evidence as having multiple students report the same thing.
PP - I am so sorry for your ds. What a nightmare.
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2019 19:55     Subject: What do you do when a teacher makes your child feel miserable
Anonymous wrote:Just use it as an opportunity to teach your kid there are some people that are tough to work for/with and move on.


Not at age 8! Good advice for high school.
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2019 16:57     Subject: What do you do when a teacher makes your child feel miserable
My DD had a teacher like that in third grade. My child began to hate school.

Then I took note of the graded items from other students in class that mistakenly showed up every so often in our child's weekly folder. If our kid got a "4", it just said "4". If we got some other kid's class work by mistake, it might have a "3" with "good job!" or notes the teacher wrote regarding what to work on. My child's work NEVER had teacher comments on it, except for very negative comments such as "you should know this" or "wrong".

Since then, I've learned to save all of my children's graded work for the entire year. I save everything from the main teacher, in case I need to make a case. Never. Throw. Anything. Away. Until. June.

Look for patterns.
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2019 16:54     Subject: Re:What do you do when a teacher makes your child feel miserable
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I told the teacher. I told her, "Are you aware that DD and her friends are all afraid of you? Did you know this used to be DD's favorite subject until she got you as a teacher?"

Her jaw dropped. She sputtered and then shot back with how DD was not completing all the Kahn Academy stuff she was assigning.

Me: Yes, I sent you an email that she wouldn't be able to complete it - she does not have access to a computer at home.
Her: She can use the computer lab at school.
Me: DD is already staying up until midnight or 1am to complete all her homework. I will not have her getting up at 5:30am so she arrives at school having had 5 or 6 hours of sleep.
Her: She can use the computer lab after school.
Me: She takes mass transit and then walks a mile home alone and has to be home before it's dark for safety purposes. If you would like to stay late with DD and then take her home that would be fine with me.
Her: This is very inconvenient.
Me: Yes, it is very inconvenient for me as well, to be a single, working mother who can not afford to give my child a laptop, yet here we are.


Yet you post on DCUM? Something's fishy.


People have access to DCUM at work. Ever think of that?


Why can't you afford to buy your child a laptop? You can buy used or refurbished ones for a low price. It's really critical that your child has one for school. Or maybe you could ask if the PTA could give your child a scholarship to help pay for one.


If OP says she can't afford it, maybe just take her at her word?

Insisting that every child must use a computer to complete their homework is classist as hell. Even if it's just a hundred bucks, some people simply can't do it, especially if they're a single parent.


Oh please. Everyone has a phone that connects to the internet. Everyone.


No, in fact, not everyone does. Step outside your coddled bubble.
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2019 16:53     Subject: What do you do when a teacher makes your child feel miserable
I am sorry, OP. At tjis point, I would focus on try to boost dd's morale and help her to impress the teacher with great work. My dd has a difficult teacher, and we joke about her "stickin it to the man" by working really hard. Prove him wrong. If it were earlier in the year, I'd say go the route of meetings. I met with our difficult teacher, and he stonewalled me. It seemed disastrous- but I have noticed some positive changes. I also shared concerns with admin who were very supportive. Maybe it's not too late. I guess it depends on how much support you'd get from admin. Anyway, I'm sorry.
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2019 16:50     Subject: What do you do when a teacher makes your child feel miserable
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Teachers don't "pick on students".

Maybe the teacher is trying to guide/challenge/push/teach your daughter in a manner that your daughter might not understand or like?

My son's best friend says that their Spanish teacher "picks on him" in class because the teacher makes him answer oral questions or give his opinion when he'd like to just stay quiet and fill out worksheets. My son is in the same class and says she makes everyone talk (which is different than last year's teacher), some kids just have anxiety about it and feel judged.

Maybe there is a second side to the story?

Regardless, summer is almost here. It's over.


Really? My DS has been in a class all year where he complained about the teacher singling him out. He's my 4th kid so I thought it likely the teacher was just challenging him as you say. I encouraged him to work through it, that not every teacher was a good fit, etc. - until a few weeks ago. At that time, a friend sent my DD a video another student had secretly recorded in DS' classroom. It shows incredibly inappropriate behavior of the teacher towards DS. I was horrified. I immediately sent it to the principal and counselor. The teacher was put on administrative leave the same day and hasn't been in the classroom since.

BTW - DS also has anxiety. Your comment about 'some kids just have anxiety' is shows you're as ignorant as DS' teacher. That was one of the reasons she targeted and judged him. You really shouldn't opine on things you know nothing about.


Yeah right.
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2019 16:43     Subject: What do you do when a teacher makes your child feel miserable
Anonymous wrote:Teachers don't "pick on students".

Maybe the teacher is trying to guide/challenge/push/teach your daughter in a manner that your daughter might not understand or like?

My son's best friend says that their Spanish teacher "picks on him" in class because the teacher makes him answer oral questions or give his opinion when he'd like to just stay quiet and fill out worksheets. My son is in the same class and says she makes everyone talk (which is different than last year's teacher), some kids just have anxiety about it and feel judged.

Maybe there is a second side to the story?

Regardless, summer is almost here. It's over.


Really? My DS has been in a class all year where he complained about the teacher singling him out. He's my 4th kid so I thought it likely the teacher was just challenging him as you say. I encouraged him to work through it, that not every teacher was a good fit, etc. - until a few weeks ago. At that time, a friend sent my DD a video another student had secretly recorded in DS' classroom. It shows incredibly inappropriate behavior of the teacher towards DS. I was horrified. I immediately sent it to the principal and counselor. The teacher was put on administrative leave the same day and hasn't been in the classroom since.

BTW - DS also has anxiety. Your comment about 'some kids just have anxiety' is shows you're as ignorant as DS' teacher. That was one of the reasons she targeted and judged him. You really shouldn't opine on things you know nothing about.