OP here. I think it started as chatting while gaming with local friends. Then it morphed into playing on public servers with familiar and unfamiliar people. One of the big things he expressed to the school counselor he was upset about was the end of a relationship. I was flabbergasted as I was not aware of one, and I have been in the past. Turns out it was all online, and he was video chatting with a girl he "met" online. Then his real life friend got involved with her, and he felt so betrayed, but then also foolish he was that upset about a person he never really met. Guess I can't assume when I hear him talking that it's with real local friends. I used to close the basement door to not hear the game play.

I'm not aware of what they talk about.

Anonymous wrote:You mentioned online chats might beat the root of all of this — do you know what is the nature of these chats? Might he be talking to other kids who are struggling with depression or suicidal ideation?

Yeah, you’re not really clear as to what concerns you about the chats. I am not sure you’ll get a lot of help from the professionals about regaining control. The ones we’ve seen encouraged us to respect privacy and get our son to voluntarily open up to us unless the online behavior is dangerous or illegal.

As to walking on eggshells (my term not yours), for me it doesn’t stop. And the other thing that doesn’t stop is the fear - old behaviors just stop me in my tracks. There are certain perfectly normal things that were antecedents to crises.