Anonymous
Post 04/25/2019 09:34     Subject: Do all marriages kind of suck?
I don’t think it’s common. I’m 40 and none of my HS or college friends are divorced, none of my neighbors I know are divorced, only one family I know at are large preschool are divorced. All of the families we socialize with seem genuinely happy. I am happy with 2 small kids.
Anonymous
Post 04/25/2019 09:31     Subject: Re:Do all marriages kind of suck?
Anonymous wrote:Married 7 years, 2 small kids. Regular sex. I was actually fine until I found out how unhappy and resentful my husband was. I was ok with the level of busyness because that's what it's like when you have small kids. Like, what did you expect? We're healthy, we've got great kids, good jobs, no real problems. Then my husband told me he was miserable. Now, just knowing that every morning he wakes up and thinks basically "my life is over" has made me more unhappy with our marriage.


What does he specify is the source of his unhappiness? Hoping he expands more than just, "I'm miserable"? Was he as on board with creating a family as you were (not playing the "why did you marry him" card, just wondering about the early years)?
Anonymous
Post 04/25/2019 09:26     Subject: Re:Do all marriages kind of suck?
Married 7 years, 2 small kids. Regular sex. I was actually fine until I found out how unhappy and resentful my husband was. I was ok with the level of busyness because that's what it's like when you have small kids. Like, what did you expect? We're healthy, we've got great kids, good jobs, no real problems. Then my husband told me he was miserable. Now, just knowing that every morning he wakes up and thinks basically "my life is over" has made me more unhappy with our marriage.
Anonymous
Post 04/25/2019 09:22     Subject: Do all marriages kind of suck?
Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s normal to wish you had never gotten married for the consistently unhappy when your life is overall very good – health money children etc.

I do think it is normal to be frustrated with the ins and outs of daily life and sometimes take that out on your partner.


Sorry to clarify my situation since that does seem to matter. I have been with my husband over 15 years and married for 12. We have two children - one in Elementary and one in preschool.
Anonymous
Post 04/25/2019 09:22     Subject: Do all marriages kind of suck?
I don’t think it’s normal to wish you had never gotten married for the consistently unhappy when your life is overall very good – health money children etc.

I do think it is normal to be frustrated with the ins and outs of daily life and sometimes take that out on your partner.
Anonymous
Post 04/25/2019 09:21     Subject: Do all marriages kind of suck?
Anonymous wrote:I listened to a podcast recently where a woman has done all this research into marriages in many different cultures, and the conclusion she came to was that the US puts way too much emphasis on marriage. We expect our spouses to be our lovers, best friends, therapists, life coach, etc. and in the cultures that do not do that, they are happier in their marriages. I found that really interesting.

That is interesting. Living alone as a nuclear family is a Western concept and mode of life, and quite recent historical development. And a result of better financial circumstances.
Anonymous
Post 04/25/2019 09:18     Subject: Do all marriages kind of suck?
I listened to a podcast recently where a woman has done all this research into marriages in many different cultures, and the conclusion she came to was that the US puts way too much emphasis on marriage. We expect our spouses to be our lovers, best friends, therapists, life coach, etc. and in the cultures that do not do that, they are happier in their marriages. I found that really interesting.
Anonymous
Post 04/25/2019 09:07     Subject: Do all marriages kind of suck?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I thought my marriage was great for the first 20 years...then DH had a midlife crisis.


For me it was 27 years and was a midlife crisis accompanied by an emotional affair. I was gobsmacked. I'm still not fully over it and it's been 10 years.

I fear DW is going through some sort of midlife crisis and emotional affair. She of course claims they are just friends
Anonymous
Post 04/25/2019 08:56     Subject: Do all marriages kind of suck?
Anonymous wrote:I thought my marriage was great for the first 20 years...then DH had a midlife crisis.


For me it was 27 years and was a midlife crisis accompanied by an emotional affair. I was gobsmacked. I'm still not fully over it and it's been 10 years.
Anonymous
Post 04/25/2019 08:17     Subject: Do all marriages kind of suck?
Nah my marriage doesn't suck. We're very happy. It's not amazing right now, but we have 2 under 3. We're still thrilled to be creating this family that we've always wanted together and we have a sense that we're in it together. But yeah, running a daycare with someone you used to date is apt. Key for us is a weekly date night.
Anonymous
Post 04/25/2019 08:15     Subject: Do all marriages kind of suck?
why don't you enjoy the sex? My marriage was crap, but before it completely fell apart, at least I enjoyed the sex.
Anonymous
Post 04/25/2019 08:12     Subject: Re:Do all marriages kind of suck?
PP sorry meant to say male not made !
Anonymous
Post 04/25/2019 08:12     Subject: Re:Do all marriages kind of suck?
For some reason I think OP is made not female . I don’t know why though ? It could be either though
Anonymous
Post 04/25/2019 07:57     Subject: Re:Do all marriages kind of suck?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Some people are happy people and some people are unhappy people... it s all about perspective

Somebody would describe your life exactly as you have and feel like they hit the lottery, you don't. that is a choice. You chose to be unhappy.


This is simplistic and harsh.


No it isn't.

3 healthy kids
2 fit and healthy adults
sex 1x per month
a good team
jobs, $$, a home, vacations, good schools


Cry me a river... you are "unhappy" in this situation... it is all internal. It is a choice.

That is not simplistic or harsh. You know what is simple... gratitude.
Anonymous
Post 04/25/2019 07:53     Subject: Re:Do all marriages kind of suck?
Definitely not

We’ve been married for 14 years, have three kids (10, 8, 6) and DH is my best friend and favorite person. Sex is better than ever because we’re completely comfortable with each other. We have it 2-3 times a week