Mine are 15 mos apart and, as I recall, the difficult parts ebbed and flowed over the years. I was lucky and both kids were good sleepers and #2 took to nursing easily so, other than being tired, I didn't find the early months all that difficult. #2 spent most of her time on me in a sling and we just kept up #1's usual routine of playgroup, music class, storytime, trips to the park. One thing that helped a lot was that since they were so close in age #2 still napped twice a day. I later looked at friends with a busy 3 yr old and a newborn and thought that looked exhausting LOL Getting them on the same afternoon nap routine was key and I had a couple years where they both were napping for 2-3 hours every afternoon.

The first time I found really difficult was when #2 started crawling because then I had two to keep an eye on and the conflicts w/ #1 started because now she could get into his things. Then they got used to that and things settled down for a bit until it was time for #1 to be potty trained and for a while leaving the house was a big PITA because helping #1 in a bathroom while also having a toddler in tow was challenging.

Then #2 entered the terrible twos and that decided for us that two was enough!

But, they are teens now and I'm happy with the spacing. They were never the "best friends" everyone says close-age siblings will be, and what I expected because my 20-mos-older sister was always my best friend. But, they also never fought much and get along ok when we do family things. They just have very different personalities and play styles and one is an extrovert and one an introvert.

I don’t remember exactly, definitely better by 6 months, maybe fully better after a year? It got better enough that we have a third now. To me, the hardest ages are newborn and 18 months or so (that toddler period where they are way more mobile than verbal, so discipline is challenging). So having those at the same time was tough, but by 2 and especially 2.5, the older one begins to understand a lot more.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whoa.

My boys are 18 months apart, I’m a SAHM, we don’t have a nanny, and we LOVE the age gap.

My first was only 18 months old when the baby came home, so he didn’t know any better. We kept his day the same, and the newborn just slept and went along for the ride.

I got them on the same schedule ASAP, so we all napped from 12-2, including me.

My oldest doesn’t remember life without his brother.

My friends all did the 2 year age gap and they STRUGGLED. We didn’t because DS1 was too little to care.

They’re 3.5 and 2 now and it’s fine.

Go away sanctimommy. You know that people who are happy in their own lives don’t feel the need to tear other people down? Did you honestly think this was contributing anything to the discussion?

Yes, actually, I think i contributed WAY more than the first 6 posters who basically said she was doomed, why did you do this, etc. I am far from a sanctimommy. I was offering my story, while everyone else was telling OP her life was over.

DP Pp I thought your post was very sweet! You did not sound like a sanctimommy and I thought you gave very good advice. My kids are three years apart so I can't offer anything.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should have given your older one at least two years of attention.

Maybe she should send the younger one back

No but thats why people should think before they act.

No one would ever have kids if they didn’t because it got hard sometimes. Just because it’s hard now doesn’t mean she needs to regret having a second child. Just because she asked when it gets easier doesn’t mean she didn’t think it through.
People are so judgemental and exhausting here.

I actually just think it's one person. I picture her/him at home waking up first thing in the morning with a huge scowl.

Yes. I’d hate to be that negative all the time.

Anonymous wrote:The first year was toughest for us. But my second kid was a terrible sleeper so most of that was due to lack of sleep. It got much, much better once DC2 was STTN.

Same here, I had a similar experience and things vastly improved when DC2 finally STTN. And it really gets easier as they get more independent. Mine are 6 and 4.5 now and play together all the time. They fight too, of course, but that’s par for the course with siblings (unless there’s a really big age gap). I had some regrets in those first weeks/months but now I would not want it any other way. Hang in there!

Just remember that each day it will get a little better until one day they’re playing with each other and it’s peaceful for a moment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should have given your older one at least two years of attention.

Maybe she should send the younger one back

No but thats why people should think before they act.

No one would ever have kids if they didn’t because it got hard sometimes. Just because it’s hard now doesn’t mean she needs to regret having a second child. Just because she asked when it gets easier doesn’t mean she didn’t think it through.
People are so judgemental and exhausting here.

I actually just think it's one person. I picture her/him at home waking up first thing in the morning with a huge scowl.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should have given your older one at least two years of attention.

Maybe she should send the younger one back

No but thats why people should think before they act.

No one would ever have kids if they didn’t because it got hard sometimes. Just because it’s hard now doesn’t mean she needs to regret having a second child. Just because she asked when it gets easier doesn’t mean she didn’t think it through.
People are so judgemental and exhausting here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whoa.

My boys are 18 months apart, I’m a SAHM, we don’t have a nanny, and we LOVE the age gap.

My first was only 18 months old when the baby came home, so he didn’t know any better. We kept his day the same, and the newborn just slept and went along for the ride.

I got them on the same schedule ASAP, so we all napped from 12-2, including me.

My oldest doesn’t remember life without his brother.

My friends all did the 2 year age gap and they STRUGGLED. We didn’t because DS1 was too little to care.

They’re 3.5 and 2 now and it’s fine.

Go away sanctimommy. You know that people who are happy in their own lives don’t feel the need to tear other people down? Did you honestly think this was contributing anything to the discussion?

Yes, actually, I think i contributed WAY more than the first 6 posters who basically said she was doomed, why did you do this, etc. I am far from a sanctimommy. I was offering my story, while everyone else was telling OP her life was over.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should have given your older one at least two years of attention.

Maybe she should send the younger one back

No but thats why people should think before they act.

Mine are 13 months apart. We both work full time and do daycare. First 6 months hard but now love it and also can’t imagine the age gap being different.

It’ll get fun soon!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you start getting sleep, your outlook should improve!
We had four under two, still happily married. Lower your standards and get through days and get your kids on a good schedule. It will be Ok! Be patient with yourself. You are six weeks out. Your body is still healing!

How is this possible? Two sets of twins?

Or triplets plus one.