Anonymous
04/18/2019 23:05
Subject: Re:10 and 7 year olds, New marriage, possible baby
OP here....thank you so much for the two PP for sharing your stories with the good and the bad. I definitely appreciate all feed back good and bad which is why I posted here to begin with. My kids and my SO have a great relationship but I am worried that the addition of a baby would strain this. I think our older kids would love having a younger sibling, and they have both said they would. We would definitely have to divide the kids for sports etc . But if there was anyone I could make this work with it would be my current partner.
Anonymous
04/18/2019 22:11
Subject: Re:10 and 7 year olds, New marriage, possible baby
Hi Op. Here’s my story:
I’m 45 now. I have 2 children from a previous marriage. They are now 12 and 8. I also have a 2 year old with my fiancé. I was 42 when I had my 2 year old. Things are good for the most part but it has not been easy although I must say I think I lucked out because the two-year-old has been very easy. She has always been a great sleeper so luckily I’m not sleep deprived. My fiancé has two children of his own who are young adults. When it comes to parenting styles, we are different. I think that has been my biggest struggle. He is less patient and gets angry, where I kind of let things go. My older kids have really had to adjust to his style. He takes very good care of them and loves them, but is just different than I am.
Another struggle for me with three kids is all of the afterschool logistics. My older two kids go to different schools that are far from each other. They also play sports on different days. Often times games overlap and I struggle to find someone to take one of them. So far I’ve been able to work all of that out, but the two-year-old is still young, and I wonder what will happen when she starts going to her own activities. My fiancé has a demanding job and is not always available to help me with the logistics. I do feel that our time as a family is seriously lacking because the sport they play is time demanding.
However, the two older kids love their little sister and have been really good with her for the most part. I would definitely consider thinking about how you will support your older kids with this change. Best of luck to you!
I’m 45 now. I have 2 children from a previous marriage. They are now 12 and 8. I also have a 2 year old with my fiancé. I was 42 when I had my 2 year old. Things are good for the most part but it has not been easy although I must say I think I lucked out because the two-year-old has been very easy. She has always been a great sleeper so luckily I’m not sleep deprived. My fiancé has two children of his own who are young adults. When it comes to parenting styles, we are different. I think that has been my biggest struggle. He is less patient and gets angry, where I kind of let things go. My older kids have really had to adjust to his style. He takes very good care of them and loves them, but is just different than I am.
Another struggle for me with three kids is all of the afterschool logistics. My older two kids go to different schools that are far from each other. They also play sports on different days. Often times games overlap and I struggle to find someone to take one of them. So far I’ve been able to work all of that out, but the two-year-old is still young, and I wonder what will happen when she starts going to her own activities. My fiancé has a demanding job and is not always available to help me with the logistics. I do feel that our time as a family is seriously lacking because the sport they play is time demanding.
However, the two older kids love their little sister and have been really good with her for the most part. I would definitely consider thinking about how you will support your older kids with this change. Best of luck to you!
Anonymous
04/18/2019 10:05
Subject: 10 and 7 year olds, New marriage, possible baby
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Wow, just nasties on dcum today! I don't know OP, but I am sure whatever you decide will work out. Good luck!
I really don’t think people are being nasty. OP is asking the pros and cons of starting a family with a new partner. Some people have said not to do it. They are entitled to their opinions.
Agree! You’re getting good feedback, OP! Don’t ask a question if you don’t want a variety of responses
Lots of wisdom in these answers. Good luck and congrats!