They had 3 rankings - one for “hotness” one for “sportiness” and one for “how they act around boys”. They’re all mean-spirited but the one based on looks is absolutely out of line for Anyone.

At least a crush list is based on something positive (if it’s about a personal crush, not speculative).

I posted earlier. I totally remember ranking the boys in the class on cuteness. And no, it wasn't "personality," for Pete's sake. My God, at least one of you thinks that would make it okay? That seems even meaner.

Anonymous wrote:Ranking girls from pretty to ugly is exactly what they did. I would take as much issue if girls did the same thing.

Okay, but there are several posters (or one sock puppet) on this thread who say it's nbd when girls do it.

Anonymous wrote:How do they have time for this crap?

Apparently they were doing it during class.

How do they have time for this crap?

Ranking girls from pretty to ugly is exactly what they did. I would take as much issue if girls did the same thing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:4th grade is a weird age. Many girls are interesting in "cute" boys but most boys are oblivious and/or confused because they're not into girls at all. My son is in 4th, and I can't imagine him ranking a girl based on prettiness. I can 100% imagine him tanking girls based on sportiness: he ranks everything...sports, foods, favorite states, etc... I wouldn't read to much into this, and I wouldn't assume girls aren't doing analogous things. The real problem would be ranking girls from pretty to ugly, or ugliest or fattest. That is beyond the pale and cruel. But what you describe seems developmentally typical, honestly.

This. Boys LOVE to rank things. We need to do a better job of teaching them that respect for others' feelings does not include ranking people in this way, but please don't fault 4th grade boys for doing what they normally do.

4th grade girls do too. It's nuts to me how many women on this thread seem to be willing to give the exact same behavior a pass when it's done by girls.

Anonymous wrote:Yup, this is the future Brock Turners and Brett Kavanaugh's of the world.

Does #boymom work here? I don't know, I have daughters.

Well, when this happened in one DC's elementary class, it was put together entirely by the girls. Also, from what I heard the ship insta accounts in middle school that were found were all done by girls.

Should I start talking about #girlmom or #minime?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup, this is the future Brock Turners and Brett Kavanaugh's of the world.

Does #boymom work here? I don't know, I have daughters.

Great. I'll make a deal with you: I'll teach my boys that things like this are inappropriate to discuss publicly because they hurt people's feelings and that girls - like all human beings -- should ALWAYS be treated with respect. And you teach your girls to toughen up and grow a thicker skin.

Careful, you’re getting dangerously close to victim-blaming. NP.

Except that I'm not sure that there is always a "victim." If the girls' refuse to be bothered by it, there is no victim.

Anonymous wrote:4th grade is a weird age. Many girls are interesting in "cute" boys but most boys are oblivious and/or confused because they're not into girls at all. My son is in 4th, and I can't imagine him ranking a girl based on prettiness. I can 100% imagine him tanking girls based on sportiness: he ranks everything...sports, foods, favorite states, etc... I wouldn't read to much into this, and I wouldn't assume girls aren't doing analogous things. The real problem would be ranking girls from pretty to ugly, or ugliest or fattest. That is beyond the pale and cruel. But what you describe seems developmentally typical, honestly.

This. Boys LOVE to rank things. We need to do a better job of teaching them that respect for others' feelings does not include ranking people in this way, but please don't fault 4th grade boys for doing what they normally do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup, this is the future Brock Turners and Brett Kavanaugh's of the world.

Does #boymom work here? I don't know, I have daughters.

Great. I'll make a deal with you: I'll teach my boys that things like this are inappropriate to discuss publicly because they hurt people's feelings and that girls - like all human beings -- should ALWAYS be treated with respect. And you teach your girls to toughen up and grow a thicker skin.

Careful, you’re getting dangerously close to victim-blaming. NP.

Anonymous wrote:Yup, this is the future Brock Turners and Brett Kavanaugh's of the world.

Does #boymom work here? I don't know, I have daughters.

Great. I'll make a deal with you: I'll teach my boys that things like this are inappropriate to discuss publicly because they hurt people's feelings and that girls - like all human beings -- should ALWAYS be treated with respect. And you teach your girls to toughen up and grow a thicker skin.

4th grade is a weird age. Many girls are interesting in "cute" boys but most boys are oblivious and/or confused because they're not into girls at all. My son is in 4th, and I can't imagine him ranking a girl based on prettiness. I can 100% imagine him tanking girls based on sportiness: he ranks everything...sports, foods, favorite states, etc... I wouldn't read to much into this, and I wouldn't assume girls aren't doing analogous things. The real problem would be ranking girls from pretty to ugly, or ugliest or fattest. That is beyond the pale and cruel. But what you describe seems developmentally typical, honestly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those of you who ranked or think girls ranking boys they want to marry is the same, do those rankings only take “hotness” into account or are they more personality based?

Just cuteness. That's it.

Ability to be a good earner, potential for Ivies, fitness or will he get a dad-bod, sense of humor. They also have a secret investigative piece on if his mother's father is bald.

/s. it's just cuteness.

In 4th grade??

My 4th grader “likes” the boy in her class who is her science partner because he is smart, nice and brought her a chocolate dinosaur egg on Valentine’s Day. Also, he’s cute but she seems more interested in the niceness since a lot of boys aren’t so nice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those of you who ranked or think girls ranking boys they want to marry is the same, do those rankings only take “hotness” into account or are they more personality based?

Just cuteness. That's it.

Ability to be a good earner, potential for Ivies, fitness or will he get a dad-bod, sense of humor. They also have a secret investigative piece on if his mother's father is bald.

/s. it's just cuteness.