Anonymous
03/31/2019 17:53
Subject: Kids perception of working / sah parents
I worry that if I sah my sons will think their mommy and eventually their wife exists to make life run smoothly for them and their “important” work
Anonymous
03/30/2019 22:31
Subject: Kids perception of working / sah parents
Anonymous wrote:No. I don’t enjoy kids and would want to kill myself if I stayed home all day. I love working. The kids will be fine.
I can totally relate. I do not enjoy working at all and would literally want to kill myself if I couldn't stay home and raise my own kids. I love kids! The work world will be fine without me!
Anonymous
03/30/2019 22:26
Subject: Re:Kids perception of working / sah parents
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Kids are self interested and self absorbed.
They don’t have the maturity or life experience to be able to consider other perspectives and have empathy for others.
Don’t make decisions on how a 6 yo views your circumstances.
You’re the adult.
This is just not true. They obviously don't have the life experience, but even toddlers have awareness of emotions and can feel empathy. I stubbed my toe tonight and my 2 year-old immediately gave it a gentle pat to "make it feel better." Dismissing their emotional capabilities says a lot about yours.
Ok. Just today my four year old dropped his cup while I was driving and asked me to pick it up. Because he does NOT consider my perspective or what I am doing. He is just concerned with getting his own needs met.
ha! I think you missed my point but you don't seem very empathetic yourself, so I give up.
What is your point?
Do you think an empathetic mother would stop the car? Why don’t I seem empathetic?
A four year old should be in a harnessed car seat or booster and if a cup is dropped cannot reach it.
Anonymous
03/30/2019 22:25
Subject: Re:Kids perception of working / sah parents
Anonymous wrote:My kids and DH like me to be home because I am more clued in and strategic about the kids education/learning etc. I also tutor my kids for most subjects and they do exceedingly well. I have never taught in a professional capacity but evidently I have a knack for teaching. I frequently tutor other children for free at my home. My DH is out of the house at 7 am and comes back home at 8 pm. While it is not as hectic as many people's career in DMV, it is not conducive to being there for the children.
My kids want me to teach eventually but only after they have launched, because they do not want "other kids to get an edge because I am teaching them." I take that to mean that they think highly of me.
In a few years they will be out of the house. After they leave, I would really like to pick a few bright students who are on FARMS and tutor and prep them for free so that they become super-competitive and get them into top colleges. I would love to run a bootcamp at home and just change the career and life of a few of such kids.
Sounds great. Why do you have to stay at home to help your kids with their school work though? I am WOH and do the same, I know many other WOHPs who do.
Anonymous
03/30/2019 22:14
Subject: Re:Kids perception of working / sah parents
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Kids are self interested and self absorbed.
They don’t have the maturity or life experience to be able to consider other perspectives and have empathy for others.
Don’t make decisions on how a 6 yo views your circumstances.
You’re the adult.
This is just not true. They obviously don't have the life experience, but even toddlers have awareness of emotions and can feel empathy. I stubbed my toe tonight and my 2 year-old immediately gave it a gentle pat to "make it feel better." Dismissing their emotional capabilities says a lot about yours.
Ok. Just today my four year old dropped his cup while I was driving and asked me to pick it up. Because he does NOT consider my perspective or what I am doing. He is just concerned with getting his own needs met.
ha! I think you missed my point but you don't seem very empathetic yourself, so I give up.
What is your point?
Do you think an empathetic mother would stop the car? Why don’t I seem empathetic?
Anonymous
03/30/2019 21:20
Subject: Re:Kids perception of working / sah parents
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Kids are self interested and self absorbed.
They don’t have the maturity or life experience to be able to consider other perspectives and have empathy for others.
Don’t make decisions on how a 6 yo views your circumstances.
You’re the adult.
This is just not true. They obviously don't have the life experience, but even toddlers have awareness of emotions and can feel empathy. I stubbed my toe tonight and my 2 year-old immediately gave it a gentle pat to "make it feel better." Dismissing their emotional capabilities says a lot about yours.
Ok. Just today my four year old dropped his cup while I was driving and asked me to pick it up. Because he does NOT consider my perspective or what I am doing. He is just concerned with getting his own needs met.
ha! I think you missed my point but you don't seem very empathetic yourself, so I give up.
Anonymous
03/30/2019 20:38
Subject: Kids perception of working / sah parents
*best*!
Anonymous
03/30/2019 20:37
Subject: Re:Kids perception of working / sah parents
Anonymous wrote:My kids and DH like me to be home because I am more clued in and strategic about the kids education/learning etc. I also tutor my kids for most subjects and they do exceedingly well. I have never taught in a professional capacity but evidently I have a knack for teaching. I frequently tutor other children for free at my home. My DH is out of the house at 7 am and comes back home at 8 pm. While it is not as hectic as many people's career in DMV, it is not conducive to being there for the children.
My kids want me to teach eventually but only after they have launched, because they do not want "other kids to get an edge because I am teaching them." I take that to mean that they think highly of me.
In a few years they will be out of the house. After they leave, I would really like to pick a few bright students who are on FARMS and tutor and prep them for free so that they become super-competitive and get them into top colleges. I would love to run a bootcamp at home and just change the career and life of a few of such kids.
NP. This sounds fantastic. I wish you the beat.
Anonymous
03/30/2019 20:34
Subject: Kids perception of working / sah parents
As a child I remember thinking the mothers of my friends who had big jobs like architects and doctors were amazing. YMMV.
Anonymous
03/30/2019 20:23
Subject: Kids perception of working / sah parents
Girls tend to marry men who are like their fathers. So the kind of marriage dynamic you model is important, too.
Anonymous
03/30/2019 20:19
Subject: Kids perception of working / sah parents
Yes. My SAHM was constantly busy doing housework -- cooking, cleaning, laundry, errands, chauffering, etc. There was a certain level of stress and resentment about her unpaid work. I didn't want that to be the primary undertone of my relationship with my kids. The time I spend with them now is time where I'm mostly focused on being with them, so that is important to me.
I see the point about self-absorption, and that is true. However they absorb things unconsciously even at a young age. If you're confident and gain satisfaction from your work, regardless of whether that's at home or outside the home, they will feel that in a positive way.
I see the point about self-absorption, and that is true. However they absorb things unconsciously even at a young age. If you're confident and gain satisfaction from your work, regardless of whether that's at home or outside the home, they will feel that in a positive way.
Anonymous
03/30/2019 19:25
Subject: Re:Kids perception of working / sah parents
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Kids are self interested and self absorbed.
They don’t have the maturity or life experience to be able to consider other perspectives and have empathy for others.
Don’t make decisions on how a 6 yo views your circumstances.
You’re the adult.
This is just not true. They obviously don't have the life experience, but even toddlers have awareness of emotions and can feel empathy. I stubbed my toe tonight and my 2 year-old immediately gave it a gentle pat to "make it feel better." Dismissing their emotional capabilities says a lot about yours.
Ok. Just today my four year old dropped his cup while I was driving and asked me to pick it up. Because he does NOT consider my perspective or what I am doing. He is just concerned with getting his own needs met.
Anonymous
03/30/2019 19:18
Subject: Re:Kids perception of working / sah parents
Anonymous wrote:Kids are self interested and self absorbed.
They don’t have the maturity or life experience to be able to consider other perspectives and have empathy for others.
Don’t make decisions on how a 6 yo views your circumstances.
You’re the adult.
This is just not true. They obviously don't have the life experience, but even toddlers have awareness of emotions and can feel empathy. I stubbed my toe tonight and my 2 year-old immediately gave it a gentle pat to "make it feel better." Dismissing their emotional capabilities says a lot about yours.
Anonymous
03/30/2019 19:14
Subject: Re:Kids perception of working / sah parents
Anonymous wrote:I was an ambitious career woman. I had 2 sons. I often had mom guilt. I once told a friend I hoped one day my sons would marry very smart women who would stay home to raise my future grandchildren. I didn’t want a nanny raising my grandchildren. Then I realized I want to stay home with my kids as well. It has been four years and we added another baby. Love the new addition. Enjoying our life.
Such a troll post.
Anonymous
03/30/2019 19:05
Subject: Re:Kids perception of working / sah parents
Anonymous wrote:I was an ambitious career woman. I had 2 sons. I often had mom guilt. I once told a friend I hoped one day my sons would marry very smart women who would stay home to raise my future grandchildren. I didn’t want a nanny raising my grandchildren. Then I realized I want to stay home with my kids as well. It has been four years and we added another baby. Love the new addition. Enjoying our life.
Using that phrase "someone else raising the kids" makes you a total dick, BTW. Hope you home school them so that school teachers won't be raising them for you.