Anonymous wrote:OP is it possible your daughter is uncomfortable because of inappropriate behavior from her grandfather? Stop undermining her. Trust her and talk to her.

This what I would be concerned about. 9 year olds brains work differently, and for some reason she may be afraid to tell you if something scary happened while she was visiting, no matter who with.

What exactly is there to do once she gets there?

9 is just about the age where hanging out with grandparents can get kind of boring. Are there other kids in this community? Is the pool a bustling place or is it just a bunch of retirees sitting quietly?

OP is it possible your daughter is uncomfortable because of inappropriate behavior from her grandfather? Stop undermining her. Trust her and talk to her.

Anonymous wrote:9 year Olds don't get to make the schedule

That’s beside the point. That’s not what’s going on here.

Go with her OP, why does she have to go by herself?

9 year Olds don't get to make the schedule

Let me translate this for you - I'm a selfish Grandma who doesn't care if grandkids enjoy doing what I demand. Until they are 18, I am entitled to make them do whatever I want. I'm a mom who just wants a kid free night without paying for babysitting. Result - kids who will never spend time with you when they can finally be free.

9 year Olds don't get to make the schedule

This doesn't sound like a fun place for an older kid. When they are very young a backyard tub of water is fun but at age 9 they want to go to a pool with their friends.

If it’s an hour...drive in the morning...leave after dinner