Anonymous
Post 03/25/2019 13:47     Subject: When you’re out w kids - expectations of other adults?
Anonymous wrote:She was ridiculous. If I asked someone if a certain person lived there, and the person responded they didn't know, I'd thank them for their information and be done.

She's projecting.


Exactly, and trying to blame someone else for her problem.
Anonymous
Post 03/25/2019 13:46     Subject: When you’re out w kids - expectations of other adults?
How rude! I would have told her that I would have expected her to know the apartment number.
Anonymous
Post 03/25/2019 13:45     Subject: Re:When you’re out w kids - expectations of other adults?
Even though a mom and kid look innocuous I wouldn’t necessarily disclose where a neighbor lived even if I did know.
Anonymous
Post 03/25/2019 12:55     Subject: When you’re out w kids - expectations of other adults?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Don’t think you were rude. It’s not your issue. If wou just slammed the door in her face or did t hold the elevator open, different story. Anyone who thinks otherwise needs to get over themselves.


+1. Like all the mamas here - they should try getting over themselves. She asked a question, you answered it and kept moving. You don’t have to fall all over a stranger whether she has a kid or not. Of course I’m a New Yorker - we’re not programmed to throw in sorrys and excuse mes at every turn of the step.


+2
All the persecution complexes in this thread are interesting, although not surprising. OP was clearly expected to drop everything and try to run down help for mommy because she was in the presence of little Kaieden headed to a playdate.

Also not sure why an "I'm sorry" was needed. Sorry for what, exactly...?


Sorry you weren't able to help? I would have said "sorry, I don't know the Joneses" or whatever. I would not have stopped in my tracks, dropped everything, let them into my place so they could use my landline, etc. But just based on OP's post, it sounds like she was a little brusque, which can be borderline rude when interacting with people. However, the mom shouldn't have responded. If people are rude, don't make it worse.

And OP, as to your question, my only expectation of other people when I'm with my kids is that they don't use bad language. So I would have reacted to you the same way regardless of whether or not my kids where there since you didn't curse.


Really? You expect others to change their language because your precious offspring are nearby? Sorry, no.
Anonymous
Post 03/25/2019 12:50     Subject: When you’re out w kids - expectations of other adults?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Don’t think you were rude. It’s not your issue. If wou just slammed the door in her face or did t hold the elevator open, different story. Anyone who thinks otherwise needs to get over themselves.


+1. Like all the mamas here - they should try getting over themselves. She asked a question, you answered it and kept moving. You don’t have to fall all over a stranger whether she has a kid or not. Of course I’m a New Yorker - we’re not programmed to throw in sorrys and excuse mes at every turn of the step.


+2
All the persecution complexes in this thread are interesting, although not surprising. OP was clearly expected to drop everything and try to run down help for mommy because she was in the presence of little Kaieden headed to a playdate.

Also not sure why an "I'm sorry" was needed. Sorry for what, exactly...?


Sorry you weren't able to help? I would have said "sorry, I don't know the Joneses" or whatever. I would not have stopped in my tracks, dropped everything, let them into my place so they could use my landline, etc. But just based on OP's post, it sounds like she was a little brusque, which can be borderline rude when interacting with people. However, the mom shouldn't have responded. If people are rude, don't make it worse.

And OP, as to your question, my only expectation of other people when I'm with my kids is that they don't use bad language. So I would have reacted to you the same way regardless of whether or not my kids where there since you didn't curse.
Anonymous
Post 03/25/2019 12:43     Subject: When you’re out w kids - expectations of other adults?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Don’t think you were rude. It’s not your issue. If wou just slammed the door in her face or did t hold the elevator open, different story. Anyone who thinks otherwise needs to get over themselves.


+1. Like all the mamas here - they should try getting over themselves. She asked a question, you answered it and kept moving. You don’t have to fall all over a stranger whether she has a kid or not. Of course I’m a New Yorker - we’re not programmed to throw in sorrys and excuse mes at every turn of the step.


+2
All the persecution complexes in this thread are interesting, although not surprising. OP was clearly expected to drop everything and try to run down help for mommy because she was in the presence of little Kaieden headed to a playdate.

Also not sure why an "I'm sorry" was needed. Sorry for what, exactly...?
Anonymous
Post 03/25/2019 12:16     Subject: When you’re out w kids - expectations of other adults?
My response to her final comment about politeness would have been , "Lady, eff you and the horse you rode in on. Fine your own goddamn friend, and don't lecture me."
Anonymous
Post 03/25/2019 11:33     Subject: When you’re out w kids - expectations of other adults?
It all depends on tone and exact words.

The mom's response about expecting op to know her neighbors was rude. However, I think op probably isn't giving us the scenario word for word. If OP's first response was something more like "Ugh, I have no idea! How should I know who lives on my floor? " Well then, I could see myself answering her question with "Uhhh, you're their neighbors, I'd expect you to know them."

If op was merely brusque, the mom was being ridiculous.
Anonymous
Post 03/25/2019 10:51     Subject: When you’re out w kids - expectations of other adults?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The rudest person in this scenario is you, who had a negative experience with an individual, and blows it up to presume that pretty much all parents act/behave/have these expectations.

OK, you had a rude encounter. That's life. Move on. Do you really need the attention of this thread?


Hey look it’s play date mom!


I'm definitely not the playdate mom, and I think OP's attitude stinks, too. She was brusque, the other person reacted poorly, and OP now wants confirmation that either all parents are like this or she's right in judging this mother and being snotty about swearing in front of a little kid. Not impressed. Just write it off as a person feeling flustered and move on.

I agree with the poster who said that, parent or not, I expect that people will be polite.


Although brusque, I don’t find that OPs response was impolite. Condo living is VERY different than SFH or whatever living.. you can literally move around in your life and NEVER see or meet your neighbours, unless you happened to be leaving at exactly the same time, or returning at the same time. People aren’t milling around in the halls or lobby like they do in their yard.

To me, the mom snarking back about knowing neighbours is what was very rude, but I’ll assume she was flustered at not being able to connect by phone to the other family, and likely uncomfortable in a condo environment.


It was rude, but OP's reaction is to come on here and "ask" whether all parents are the same, which is really about asking whether she can be judgmental. Just let it go!
Anonymous
Post 03/25/2019 09:59     Subject: When you’re out w kids - expectations of other adults?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The rudest person in this scenario is you, who had a negative experience with an individual, and blows it up to presume that pretty much all parents act/behave/have these expectations.

OK, you had a rude encounter. That's life. Move on. Do you really need the attention of this thread?


Hey look it’s play date mom!


I'm definitely not the playdate mom, and I think OP's attitude stinks, too. She was brusque, the other person reacted poorly, and OP now wants confirmation that either all parents are like this or she's right in judging this mother and being snotty about swearing in front of a little kid. Not impressed. Just write it off as a person feeling flustered and move on.

I agree with the poster who said that, parent or not, I expect that people will be polite.


+1. Well put.
Anonymous
Post 03/25/2019 09:31     Subject: Re:When you’re out w kids - expectations of other adults?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How'd she get into your building, is the lobby not secured/locked?

This was my first thought. She should have had the unit #. Sounds scammy, but she’s less likely to get questioned with a child.


This would be a concern for me as well. I’d send her to the front desk concierge or suggest she head back to the lobby/entry and call her friend (“there is better cell reception at the main entrance”...blah, blah, blah).
Anonymous
Post 03/25/2019 09:28     Subject: When you’re out w kids - expectations of other adults?
Anonymous wrote:maybe playdate lady should teach her kids a lesson by getting the necessary information correct, and having a phone number as a back up?


Exactly. She was deflecting her chaos on to you.
Anonymous
Post 03/25/2019 09:11     Subject: When you’re out w kids - expectations of other adults?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The rudest person in this scenario is you, who had a negative experience with an individual, and blows it up to presume that pretty much all parents act/behave/have these expectations.

OK, you had a rude encounter. That's life. Move on. Do you really need the attention of this thread?


Hey look it’s play date mom!


I'm definitely not the playdate mom, and I think OP's attitude stinks, too. She was brusque, the other person reacted poorly, and OP now wants confirmation that either all parents are like this or she's right in judging this mother and being snotty about swearing in front of a little kid. Not impressed. Just write it off as a person feeling flustered and move on.

I agree with the poster who said that, parent or not, I expect that people will be polite.


Although brusque, I don’t find that OPs response was impolite. Condo living is VERY different than SFH or whatever living.. you can literally move around in your life and NEVER see or meet your neighbours, unless you happened to be leaving at exactly the same time, or returning at the same time. People aren’t milling around in the halls or lobby like they do in their yard.

To me, the mom snarking back about knowing neighbours is what was very rude, but I’ll assume she was flustered at not being able to connect by phone to the other family, and likely uncomfortable in a condo environment.
Anonymous
Post 03/25/2019 08:36     Subject: When you’re out w kids - expectations of other adults?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The rudest person in this scenario is you, who had a negative experience with an individual, and blows it up to presume that pretty much all parents act/behave/have these expectations.

OK, you had a rude encounter. That's life. Move on. Do you really need the attention of this thread?


Hey look it’s play date mom!


I'm definitely not the playdate mom, and I think OP's attitude stinks, too. She was brusque, the other person reacted poorly, and OP now wants confirmation that either all parents are like this or she's right in judging this mother and being snotty about swearing in front of a little kid. Not impressed. Just write it off as a person feeling flustered and move on.

I agree with the poster who said that, parent or not, I expect that people will be polite.
Anonymous
Post 03/24/2019 16:40     Subject: When you’re out w kids - expectations of other adults?
maybe playdate lady should teach her kids a lesson by getting the necessary information correct, and having a phone number as a back up?