Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Umm, freezing the sandwiches probably makes them taste gross.

I'm the PP who freezes sandwiches. I have a super picky eater in the family and even he has no problem with frozen sandwiches. (And he has a problem with everything...!)

I mean, to each his or her own. But if you package the sandwiches air tight, double wrap in a larger bag (I use the bread bag) and keep them no longer than 10 days in the freezer, they taste perfectly fine when thawed. Of course you can't use mayo or mustard, or tomatoes or lettuce. If you want those, either pack them separately, or thaw the night before and add before placing in the lunch box (but that's a level of effort that negates the time savings of making them ahead of time.)

If you're going to feed your kids thawed sandwiches without tomato lettuce or mayo, why not let them eat school lunch?

Find a college kid to walk your kids home and watch them a few times a week.
Order premade food delivery for a few nights - I like territory.

Anonymous wrote:Look it sounds like you are working at 4 to 5:30, not being there for your kids. Which is fine. But it sounds like you are rushing to go in super early and leave super early, only to come home and work until 5:30.

My advice would be to either:

1. get a job that lets you truly finish at 3:30 that isn't client dependent or doesnt' have emergencies after 3:30 (which means a paycut, possibly) OR
2. Work a little later a couple days a week (And maybe go in a little later those days) and maybe find someone to help with your kids after school on those days. It sounds like they take the bus so you dont' need someone to drive them which is the hardest thing to find. Around here (FFX county) jr high and high schools get out before elementary so maybe you could find a responsible teen in your neighborhood to meet your kids and get them started on homework and give them a snack.

3. Put your kids in aftercare. You seem to be on this mad rush to get home when your kids do, but what's the point if they're just on screens while you work?

Look it sounds like you are working at 4 to 5:30, not being there for your kids. Which is fine. But it sounds like you are rushing to go in super early and leave super early, only to come home and work until 5:30.

My advice would be to either:

1. get a job that lets you truly finish at 3:30 that isn't client dependent or doesnt' have emergencies after 3:30 (which means a paycut, possibly) OR
2. Work a little later a couple days a week (And maybe go in a little later those days) and maybe find someone to help with your kids after school on those days. It sounds like they take the bus so you dont' need someone to drive them which is the hardest thing to find. Around here (FFX county) jr high and high schools get out before elementary so maybe you could find a responsible teen in your neighborhood to meet your kids and get them started on homework and give them a snack.

OP: Your schedule sound VERY similar to mine and my DHs minus the morning workout. But my kids are younger and they get an hour of screentime while I make dinner, lunches and get clothes laid out for the next day. (DH would send them to school in pajamas and sneakers if I didn't, I'm not kidding). If I can get all that done in an hour then I can have my much-cherished family time with the kids for the hour between dinner and baths/bed. The other difference though, is that DH does the laundry AND the dishes. If I had to do the dishes I don't think it would work. Him doing the dishes after he showers and eats dinner allows me 30 minutes to shower and get my clothes ready for the next day. DH and I have maybe an hour after the kids are asleep to ourselves before I pass out. If I'm ambitious I'll go for a run or to the gym. DH works out in the basement. But I'll admit I'm usually so exhausted by then I just want to sit on the couch. We clean as we can on weekends and the kids put all the toys away at the end of the day. Our house isn't dirty, but it's not immaculate, and if I wanted it to be that would eliminate any remaining time I had to spend with the kids. Priorities.

Anonymous wrote:Why not put kids in an hour of aftercare? It will give you time to get your work calls done and make dinner, and they are better of playing with friends and doing homework than being planted in front of the tv.

+1

Definitely look into aftercare.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course he doesn’t come home until dinner time. I’d like to walk in right at dinner time, too. He can prep dinner in the morning (cut and wash all the produce, etc.) and you can cook it when you get home. Yes as to other suggestions of kids should be making own lunches and increase cleaning service. They probably don’t need showers every day so see what can be streamlined.

How many hours is he working? Does he drop off late? Does he make the majority of the income — it sounds like he might stall at the office to show up at 7.

Common dad move.

My DH walks DS to school at 8:30, he gets into the office around 9:30. Toss in traffic and we are lucky if he is home at 6:30. There are ways for Dad to help in the morning but it sounds like he jumps in and helps once he get shome.

Bump up the housekeeping. If he's not willing to pick up after himself, he doesn't get to complain about how the house gets cleaned.

Make the kids make their own lunches. If they don't, they don't have lunch the next day. And no TV or computer gets turned on until they have hung up their coats, put away their shoes, and made their lunch. Also, they are in it together--no screens until both have done this. Put them in the same boat. Also, they should be helping out. Depending on their age, they can help set the table, empty the dishwasher, fold laundry, etc.

Ask your husband to throw in a load of laundry before he leaves the house in the morning. If he doesn't do this, stop doing his laundry.

Tell your kids that they need to pick up stuff before they go to bed. Right before you go to bed, pick everything up and stuff it in a big box. Stick the box in a closet. If they don't like how you clean up their stuff, then they can pick it up themselves.

Yes, this is how it goes. Just try it being a single mom. Then having people tell you, you're not really a "single mom" cause your ex has your kids two days out of every 14.....

I came here to say what PP did - put your kids into aftercare, and stop flexing your schedule so radically. That is causing a disparity between you and your DH. You have kid/house duty from 4-7 (3 hrs) and make two meals daily. He only has kid duty from 7-8:30 (or whatever the kids wake-up to school start time is), and no daily cooking. So you're doing twice as much as him. Have the kids stay in aftercare and finish your work at work. Split cooking more evenly.

Just have to say a your Indian doctor dedicated to working out every morning; you must look great. Maybe make DH jealous and talk about a friendly dad at pickup you see every day maybe he will rush home...

Why not put kids in an hour of aftercare? It will give you time to get your work calls done and make dinner, and they are better of playing with friends and doing homework than being planted in front of the tv.

My day looks similar to yours, but I don’t work out or work in the evenings. To help with rush hour when everyone gets home , I do vast majority of cooking and prep on weekends or after kids bedtime using an instant pot. It’s great for vegetarians.

Pp here. With my kids in 4th and 1st, I don’t help with homework. They do it in aftercare, or occasionally the younger needs help on the weekends. They can and should c9mplete their own homework.

Also, make simpler Indian meals. A vat of dal for the week, buy frozen roti, boiled veg with some butter or sauté.rice, buy yogurt.

We eat more American food by Indian foods require a lot of fuss.

Definitely bump up the house keeping and see what you can do to change your work call times. If you can’t and they must be done in the early evening while the kids are home and restless/snacking/you are trying to make dinner - then get some outside help to do the mom part during that time. You are literally taking on two roles at the same time. There is no way to give 100% to either role that way.