Anonymous wrote:Does 'coming down hard' work? If so, what constitutes 'coming down hard'? If it doesn't work, what does?? I'm at my wits end with my 15 year old and am starting to worry about his future if he gets caught just one more time and would LOVE any advice from those who've had any measure of success getting their kids back on the right track.

Ditto

Does 'coming down hard' work? If so, what constitutes 'coming down hard'? If it doesn't work, what does?? I'm at my wits end with my 15 year old and am starting to worry about his future if he gets caught just one more time and would LOVE any advice from those who've had any measure of success getting their kids back on the right track.

Weed is so super common among teens. Just stalk a couple twitter and instagrams of kids in your high school.

My DS says pot is very common among his friends. We have a strong family history of addiction and I've been very open with DS about it from a young age. DS says that, but for all the history and discussion, he would definitely have tried weed already. I've never tried drugs because of my family history. I think addiction is both physiological and psychological. I'm not sure what I'd do if I found out DS started smoking, but treatment with other drug users would be a last resort. I think coming down hard might also encourage rebellious behavior. Maybe showing studies about the impact of drugs on brain development, explaining about gateway drugs, and showing stories of kids we ended up really screwed up because of drugs might be more effective. I do worry a lot more about alcohol use among teens because irresponsible decisions about sex and driving seem more likely with alcohol.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I ever find myself in this place it's going to involve a cast iron frying pan and a lesson in hard love. Very hard love. I will not tolerate it.

For those with wild imaginations there's quite a lot you can do with a cast iron frying pan to drive home the message without actually hitting someone else.

I would have said the same thing five years ago, but until you go thru it you will not know how you would react. Believe me we did tolerate it, but we could not stop it.

I agree! Signed, mom of a 19-year-old college student. We discovered ours was smoking as a sophomore in HS and trust me, we most def did not tolerate it. Mine continues to smoke now, as a college student.

Anonymous wrote:You can’t really control it. You can talk to them, have a good relationship, express worries, give them evidence but at the end of the day, despite what many parents believe, you can’t control an older teen. I also have seen over and over parents who freak out about weed, drug test and all that but then their kid turns to drinking, and a lot. A lot of bad things happen when teens are drinking, that is when the unprotected sex, assaults, accidents, and rape happen. Not so much on weed.

I think this is where we are at with our 17 year old. I feel my hands are tied. I'm really sad about the the whole situation.

Yeah it’s all in the eyes. As a mom you’ll know

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can’t really control it. You can talk to them, have a good relationship, express worries, give them evidence but at the end of the day, despite what many parents believe, you can’t control an older teen. I also have seen over and over parents who freak out about weed, drug test and all that but then their kid turns to drinking, and a lot. A lot of bad things happen when teens are drinking, that is when the unprotected sex, assaults, accidents, and rape happen. Not so much on weed.

It's all worrisome. And I feel like my brain is just catching up to how much more normal this is. In my day it was less common and when we finally did experiment we were older and it was also harder to get so we didn't do it often. I think it is easier than alcohol to get now. And in the vape version there's no smell so what are the signs? Red eyes I know. Are swollen eyelids?

high people still look high. They just don't smell as much

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SIL tried to get nephew into a treatment program for weed after they found him smoking it for the 4th time. She couldn't find one that would accept him in their state. He was 17 at that point and he didn't qualify based on intake questions(?!) is what she told me. Three different centers classified him as a casual user who didn't need treatment.

He's 20 now and still smokes based off of what I see on his IG. I won't let my kids be in the car with him nor is he allowed in any of their cars. He did give it up for an entire summer while doing an internship that drug tested periodically. He says once he's a real adult (aka graduates from college) he'll stop until he finds a job and then only smoke on the weekends.

And people still want to pretend weed isn't addictive

No one is pretending anything. Evidence shows there is not a similar physical withdrawal to any other drugs. Caffiene is technically more addicting. But people can be addicted to gambling, porn, shopping, food.... The mental addiction can be there with anything. It doesn't make the weed itself an addictive substance it makes the person an addict

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SIL tried to get nephew into a treatment program for weed after they found him smoking it for the 4th time. She couldn't find one that would accept him in their state. He was 17 at that point and he didn't qualify based on intake questions(?!) is what she told me. Three different centers classified him as a casual user who didn't need treatment.

He's 20 now and still smokes based off of what I see on his IG. I won't let my kids be in the car with him nor is he allowed in any of their cars. He did give it up for an entire summer while doing an internship that drug tested periodically. He says once he's a real adult (aka graduates from college) he'll stop until he finds a job and then only smoke on the weekends.

I think they do give it up as they grow up, but extremely frustrating when they are doing it every day while in HS.

This terrifies me and I smoke about once every 2 weeks. I waited though until I was out of the house, and didn't do it every day. Is it naive to think you can stop this? And how? I wouldn't want my kid having an IPA every night either at such a young age!