Seriously though, you would be giving up 40-50 years (if all goes well) of having another child, plus more grandchildren etc, because you didn’t like the first 4 months. Take the long view.

On the other hand, if you think there could be permanent repercussion of having the next kid, like divorce, major career damage etc, then maybe it isn’t worth it.

In my view the miserable period is way longer than 4 months especially for the second and third kids, but it’s still worth it for the rest of your lifetime.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wasn't ready to try for a second until kiddo was almost 18mo. It was hard.

. That’s not even that long! My dad is 3.5 and I’m still not sure about a second because of how hard pregnancy and newborn phases were for me.

. Weird autocorrect! Should be DS!

Anonymous wrote:I wasn't ready to try for a second until kiddo was almost 18mo. It was hard.

. That’s not even that long! My dad is 3.5 and I’m still not sure about a second because of how hard pregnancy and newborn phases were for me.

My first was a good baby but so hard with some health things and being a ftm. I didn't want another until she turned 2.5. Will have a second by the time she's 3.5 and not looking forward to diapers and middle of the night feeding sbut I know so much more and what Dh and I can handle.

Like one of the PPs, I'd have a fourth right now if I could have a healthy three year old right this minute. But I won't go through pregnancy, breastfeeding and the sleep deprivation again.

Just wanted to post a slightly different perspective: I felt absoltuely the same after my first. And then I had my second. This is not one of those stories where the second kid was so easy it made everything great. He was a different baby from his older sibling and challenging in different ways. Both aren’t good sleepers. But seriously, my experience with it was SO MUCH better. You learned so much the first time around (more than you know!) and it will benefit you immensely if you have a second. Truly. It’s an amazing experience to realize those low moments in early motherhood actually are paying dividends.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the idea of the newborn phase, 3-4 months, can stop you from having another child then you probably don’t really want another child anyway.

Yeah, I think that’s what we’re all saying...

I actually haven’t seen anyone else say that exactly.

True but also not true. The first year was such a minefield and mess for us, that we were put off for quite awhile. By them we were ready to even think of another kid, first was 5 and I didn't want a huge age gap and I felt older. But there is some truth that we were never really into having another. But there is a good chance we might have considered it more deeply and been impulsive if it hadn't been for that first year.

Makes sense to me.

Any new child you have to be committed for the whole life of experiences! I’m not a baby person but we have 3. Adopting a 4th, a toddler.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the idea of the newborn phase, 3-4 months, can stop you from having another child then you probably don’t really want another child anyway.

Yeah, I think that’s what we’re all saying...

Yup. One and done. And it wasn’t 3-4 months, it was 18 months of not sleeping through the night. Other then sleep, DS was a gret baby but the lack of sleep was a killer,

The newborn phase is only 3-4 months though. That doesn’t mean newborn phase is the only difficult part.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the idea of the newborn phase, 3-4 months, can stop you from having another child then you probably don’t really want another child anyway.

Yeah, I think that’s what we’re all saying...

I actually haven’t seen anyone else say that exactly.