Anonymous wrote:You won't die missing one meal. So if you didn't eat dinner, that's it. You don't get a snack. In the morning, you get to eat the usually and probably something you like. So you won't starve. If again you don't like dinner, same thing. No snack and go to bed. I will try to make something I know they will like just so they aren't malnourished. But I would make them eat that tiny bit of broccoli just because you have to. They don't have to like it, but they have to eat it. 2-4 years old was the hardest but now they are pretty good eaters at 11 & 9. They've been taught to be grateful for someone taking the time to cook for them.

How exactly do you make your child eat a particular food?

My kids don’t snack much so they are HUNGRY at dinner. That’s why they eat tikka masala, rice bowls, tacos, curry, spaghetti, etc. They’ll balk at an abundance of green veggies like all kids. But they love big flavors and GOOD food.

“Gosh my kids only eat chicken nuggets!”

That’s your own dang fault!

You won't die missing one meal. So if you didn't eat dinner, that's it. You don't get a snack. In the morning, you get to eat the usually and probably something you like. So you won't starve. If again you don't like dinner, same thing. No snack and go to bed. I will try to make something I know they will like just so they aren't malnourished. But I would make them eat that tiny bit of broccoli just because you have to. They don't have to like it, but they have to eat it. 2-4 years old was the hardest but now they are pretty good eaters at 11 & 9. They've been taught to be grateful for someone taking the time to cook for them.

I’m going to get flamed, probably. But I have two “good” eaters, meaning they eat pretty much everything and love things other kids hate — seafood, liver, tofu, all vegetables, etc. I’m from a culture where kids eat adult food from infancy on (obviously I didn’t start them on table food until 8-10 months). So basically they are served a chopped up version of our meals early on.

What I noticed with both is that between 12-36 months, they have occasional “pickiness” for different reasons. Sometimes it is testing limits. Sometimes boredom. For 1 year olds, I let them self feed as long as they are interested, then finish the meal off while letting them have a small toy or book at the table. As long as they are still lunging forward to eat, I feed. Then at 2 I expect them to eat most of the meal by themselves but still provide a book to look at from afar, interesting conversation, music. My feeling was always that it’s good to build a palate and routine.

My kids don’t snack except fruit in morning. No milk, just water. So they can’t fill up with other things. Between 1-2 we start every meal with vegetables so they associate pleasure with those tastes, and not with crackers or cookies. No or very limited sugar until 2. I think most kids gravitate to carbs and sweets, but for health it’s good to help them open their prefernces by not giving that first.

Check out kids.eat.in.color and feedinglittles on IG

No pouches. No goldfish. No mum mums. No crackers.
In other words- cut the processed carbs. (In reality its best not to ban them, just play them down.)

Substitute fruit, cheese, whole milk yogurt, hummus, fruit, nuts, eggs, veggies like cucumbers, fruit.

I just wanted to give perspective, already posted not to make it an issue or a struggle. My DD is a senior in HS and DS is in college. They were the worst eaters you can imagine. By that I mean they didn't really eat! I cooked and didn't cook anything special for them. We lived in Africa and so things were fresh. They had medical issues, DD still has severe refux. Refused baby food, refused formula, hospitalized at 7 months. DS refused baby food and well food other than formula and juice! I am talking if they had a chicken "nugget"(meaning my own breaded chicken) I was in heaven, even just tiny bite. So, make sure your kid is healthy and truly picky. Forcing, nagging, chasing, offering any substitute is the wrong things to do if you have a kid that actually eats. Even if it is just one fruit. Try, but never make it a struggle. Slowly my kids started to eat everything, literary everything. Of course, I got medical care when needed, but if I only knew then what I know now, and that is that I worried for nothing when it comes to good variety in their later on diets. Back up choices, even fast food here and there, it really makes no difference. I cooked home made meals even when we moved here, and they saw and learned and they are not overweight, I cooked the way I cook, and if I had no time here for dinner I ordered and didn't feel guilty about it. So, cook what you cook and don't obsess like I did. It all worked out. My kids eats all cuisines and love them, Asian, Italian, Mexican, US, European... DD that wouldn't touch anything for years, was on formula till 6! due to lack of iron and other things bcs of her reflux(Dr's orders too) eats salmon, any fish, shrimp, any kind of veggies, quinoa, all the fruits, white, brown rice, shakes, sushi, sea weed.... So much time wasted begging her to eat early on and try to get her off formula. So much worrying on my part, for absolutely nothing. For me being a stubborn mom who thought her adult kids will be drinking formula when grow up at their wedding! Sorry if I sound preachy, unless your kids's pediatrician is worried, just let any food issue go.

Anonymous wrote:By not making it a big deal. Don't cook separately for your toddler. Offer what you have for dinner and let him choose. Also, he is 13 months old, way too early to think about giving in or not giving in. Have something he will eat for your dinner. Trust me, it all works out and if you are worrying now you are only creating a problem. Now, I am not saying stop at McD three times a day for your baby, but just have whatever you eat and offer it.

I think this is correct.
We have the same food philosophy as OP. Both our kids around 1-1.5 suddenly became picky eaters, and by the time they got to 2 or 2.5 they were great again, eating everything from sushi to broccoli.

One thing we did was to have a “backup” dinner food. “Every night at dinner you can have what’s for dinner, or if you don’t like it you can have plain yogurt with applesauce or hummus.” Kids went to the backup every once in a while but in the end not very much.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The biggest advice I have is don't give in. Hold firm to the you eat what we eat (barring legitimate special needs) and ride out the next 4 years. I agree that the less attention you draw to the issue, the better. As your child gets into three/four it can often be an issue of exerting control and the last thing you want is a battle of wills over eating. When they're a bit older, give them lots of ways to make choices around the meal - which napkins we use, where people sit at the table, what music to listen to, etc.

We require our kids to take a "no thank you bite" so that they are exposed to more flavors and textures over time, but other than that they decide how much they want to eat. We also don't offer anything else until breakfast (assuming we're talking about dinner).

One thing I've noticed is that both of our kids have had a harder time with dinner than with other meals - and I think a lot of it is because they are tired and just done with the day. If you have some flexibility , try introducing new foods at lunch.

The 'no thank you' bite seems so coercive. We never did that and our kids (now 10 and 12) both eat everything -- and they'll even order weird stuff at new restaurants like chicken feet. Never force a kid to eat anything, that's how you get into exactly the battle of wills you're trying to avoid.

Agreed..first of all dinner is the best family time we have during the week. Nothing is worth turning it in to a battle ground. How many times do they have to take that bite before they can just hate bananas and enjoy other foods? Do you make foods you hate and eat a no thanks bite? What if they refuse? Are they punished? Do they have to eat it at the next meal?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The biggest advice I have is don't give in. Hold firm to the you eat what we eat (barring legitimate special needs) and ride out the next 4 years. I agree that the less attention you draw to the issue, the better. As your child gets into three/four it can often be an issue of exerting control and the last thing you want is a battle of wills over eating. When they're a bit older, give them lots of ways to make choices around the meal - which napkins we use, where people sit at the table, what music to listen to, etc.

We require our kids to take a "no thank you bite" so that they are exposed to more flavors and textures over time, but other than that they decide how much they want to eat. We also don't offer anything else until breakfast (assuming we're talking about dinner).

One thing I've noticed is that both of our kids have had a harder time with dinner than with other meals - and I think a lot of it is because they are tired and just done with the day. If you have some flexibility , try introducing new foods at lunch.

The 'no thank you' bite seems so coercive. We never did that and our kids (now 10 and 12) both eat everything -- and they'll even order weird stuff at new restaurants like chicken feet. Never force a kid to eat anything, that's how you get into exactly the battle of wills you're trying to avoid.

I grew up with the X number of bite rules, and while I don't do it with my kid, I don't think it's a huge deal.

But forcing your kid to do something and then telling that's saying "no" is incredibly confusing. Call it anything else, I don't care. Or just say "you need to take a bite of peas before you decide you don't like them" and don't use a cute name at all. But the term "no thank you bite" is bizarre.

1) Get lucky. Kids are born with different temperaments. Some kids are naturally suspicious, or rigid, or sensory defensive. Some kids aren't. Some kids have motor impairments that make it hard for them to manage certain textures. Some kids don't.

2) Look at Ellyn Satter's work. She had great ideas and strategies, but keep in mind that they aren't short term fixes, they're long term strategies.

3) Realize that this isn't a moral issue.

Anonymous wrote:The biggest advice I have is don't give in. Hold firm to the you eat what we eat (barring legitimate special needs) and ride out the next 4 years. I agree that the less attention you draw to the issue, the better. As your child gets into three/four it can often be an issue of exerting control and the last thing you want is a battle of wills over eating. When they're a bit older, give them lots of ways to make choices around the meal - which napkins we use, where people sit at the table, what music to listen to, etc.

We require our kids to take a "no thank you bite" so that they are exposed to more flavors and textures over time, but other than that they decide how much they want to eat. We also don't offer anything else until breakfast (assuming we're talking about dinner).

One thing I've noticed is that both of our kids have had a harder time with dinner than with other meals - and I think a lot of it is because they are tired and just done with the day. If you have some flexibility , try introducing new foods at lunch.

The 'no thank you' bite seems so coercive. We never did that and our kids (now 10 and 12) both eat everything -- and they'll even order weird stuff at new restaurants like chicken feet. Never force a kid to eat anything, that's how you get into exactly the battle of wills you're trying to avoid.

No pouches! Pouches aren't real food! If he won't touch the meatloaf, I wouldn't mind opening up a can of chickpeas for him or slicing up a cucumber or even offering cubed cheese or cold cuts. As long as you're offering 'real food' at that age I think it's fine.

No snacking.
Once done with meal - nothing until next one. no yoghurt 15 min later, no banana 20 min later, etc.

I failed with not one but two kids. My only advice: don’t cave on the separate dinner. Not ever! (Oh but she won’t sleep well! - bit me in the ass. Twice.)

Kid #1 finally began eating normally around 8/9. Kid #2 is 8 now and I’m not holding my breath.