If the ex husband is paying child support, he probably (rightfully) sees this deadbeat loser as literally living off his wages. Yikes.

Did/does the ex husband have a career?

Why is your sister living with a deadbeat? Where did your sister meet this deadbeat?

Your sister is displaying really disturbing/desperate judgment.

If I were the sister I would make other arrangements right away for the after school. Wait and see if this relationship lasts a year. Meanwhile I would only do neutral child exchanges somewhere other than her home. The ex seems to be too invested in her personal life.

Anonymous wrote:Op again. Weed is not legal in my sisters state.

Granted, this was in CO but there's caselaw there that exposure to marijuana was not grounds for a restraining order...

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Have not met the boyfriend, they live out of state.

From what I know the boyfriend smokes pot recreationally. And he has been late a few times picking up my sisters youngest from preschool, late enough to the point where they had to call her and the ex husband wondering if someone would pick him up.

So he's an irresponsible scumbag but you're OK with your sister's kids being around him?

Anonymous wrote:Op here. My sister's ex husband is a complete asshole so it's hard to determine if he is just trying to be an ass here and make life hard for my sister or if he has a legit reason for a restraining order.

I should also clarify all of my sisters kids are in school so the boyfriend just watches them after school. It's not like he is full time babysitting 4 young babies everyday.

Yeah and how long do you think it would take him to hurt them, perhaps fatally, or molest them?

Hint: Not longer than 15 minutes.

How long would YOU think it was acceptable for a dangerous strange man to be around your kids?

Where does your sister live.

If it's a southern, conservative state, her ex is going to make the argument he's married, has a stable home environment and the kids should be with him. And then point to the corrupt influence of living with a pot-head boyfriend who forgets to pick up the kids.

It's not going to look good when presented like that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How new is the boyfriend and why is she already living with him? If she's only been divorced for a year and is already living with some new guy, a judge is (probably rightly) going to seriously question her judgment

+1

This case is very different from mine, with the pot smoking and being late, etc., so her husband may have a case. But, I thought I should tell my story, because I too thought one year was moving way to fast.

I didn't like that my ex was having his new GF over, she was staying the night, she was watching my DC when he had to work late. Well, long story short, I learned that he has every right to move on with his life, and according to the judge, she felt I was filing an order out of jealously and not what was in the best interest of my child. These days, judges will lean towards the child having a relationship with both parents, and that is the most important thing to remember. Unless this new person can be proven to be a danger to your child, then you have no case and no right to interfere with his decisions. He asked for 50/50 and she granted it. I took a step back and realized I was being bitter. Now, I am grateful for this woman because she is good to my daughter and my daughter really likes having a bonus mom. I just recommend that those going through a divorce, always remember the kids come first.

Unclear why BF needs to provide after are - is exDH not paying 1/2 of the cost of aftercare for the four kids?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The most likely way for children to be molested is by mom's live in boyfriend.

This. I would be doing the same thing if I was her ex. Why doesn’t he have a job?

How do you know he doesn't? Not everyone works standard work hours. First responders, hospital staff, retail workers, professional entertainers, etc. work weekends and evenings and might be home during the after school hours.

Anonymous wrote:The most likely way for children to be molested is by mom's live in boyfriend.

Or murdered.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. The divorce has been finalized since last summer and they were separated for a year before that. Her ex husband is already married to someone else. (I realize this could be a maury povich show)

Not sure her living with the guy should be grounds for a restraining order..? I think the smoking pot and late pickups will be the issue here.. ..

And four school age kids in a house with another man. Sorry. Would not support this.

Again, this is not going to be the issue that the judge cares about. If the ex can show that the boyfriend is a danger to the kids, the ex can get a restraining order. If he's not, it doesn't matter whether you think the sister moved in with him too soon or whatever.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How new is the boyfriend and why is she already living with him? If she's only been divorced for a year and is already living with some new guy, a judge is (probably rightly) going to seriously question her judgment

The judge won't be questioning mom's judgement. The judge will be concerned with whether the boyfriend is allowed near the children. Honestly, it doesn't sound like dad has much to go on unless they guy has been arrested for selling/possession of drugs (cause he's not going to admit to smoking it to a judge, and anyone else's word is hearsay).

This. The ex will have to show that the boyfriend is a threat to the kids. It's not whether or not your sister should be living with this guy. If the ex has evidence he's doing drugs while caring for the kids, maybe. If he has evidence of something else--like abuse--it's a different ballgame.

Anonymous wrote:The most likely way for children to be molested is by mom's live in boyfriend.

This. I would be doing the same thing if I was her ex. Why doesn’t he have a job?

Anonymous wrote:Op here. The divorce has been finalized since last summer and they were separated for a year before that. Her ex husband is already married to someone else. (I realize this could be a maury povich show)

Not sure her living with the guy should be grounds for a restraining order..? I think the smoking pot and late pickups will be the issue here.. ..

And four school age kids in a house with another man. Sorry. Would not support this.