A fatal fire broke out in my building and damaged everything I owned, I lost my job (this was during the recession), and ended a long term relationship because he left me for someone else ...all in 24 hours.

or

My dad and my FIL were both diagnosed w/terminal cancer within a week of each other.

My dad dying of a massive heart attack while on a work trip. I was 24 and just moved to DC.

I am unable to have children.

My mother and grandmother were hit by a drunk driver in May 2018. My grandmother passed immediately. We were very very close. I cry pretty much daily over losing her. My mom had several surgeries and having another in March. She’ll be unable to walk (again) for months.

Anonymous wrote:My mother's illness with cancer and her death. After her death I went into a very dark place. It hurt so bad I thought the pain was going to kill me.

Same here. Only it was my dad.

Ppd. It was the lowest point in my life. I did not wish harm to my child- but I just wanted to die/disappear. I am no stranger to depression but PPD was another ball game.
What got me out of it- ehhh, a combination of healthy habits (getting sleep again), accepting my sons SN, therapy, and yoga.
I honestly spent the first year just sitting on our couch holding my son & balling. I was afraid to put him down because I was afraid I’d never pick him back up.

Lost twins at birth.

The day I delivered my child at 24 weeks, weighing only 1.5 lbs. The day I delivered my baby and the immediate days that followed were the darkest days in my life. It was awful to see my baby covered in tubes and wires, with paper thin skin and eyes still fused shut, struggling to survive.

That day my parents kicked me out of the house when I was 16.
After that I lived with a mentally ill relative. Those two years were really awful.

The Air Force recruiter provided me with a path out of all that. I have been grateful to him every day of my life since then. I joined the Air Force right after graduating high school and stayed for 33 years.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother's illness with cancer and her death. After her death I went into a very dark place. It hurt so bad I thought the pain was going to kill me.

I am so very sorry about your mom. Are you ok now?

Thank you. I am better.

Like others have said you don't just bounce back. I let myself feel the pain. I wanted to die. After spending several weeks locked in the guestroom sobbing I got to a point where I decided to just make one small step towards getting out of this dark scary place. There was nothing I could do to bring her back and my mom would want me to get back to being a wife and a mom. My kids were crying and worried as was my DH and I didn't want to do that to them. They were the push for me to get it together. The next few months were a blur, but I got back to work and was basically going through the motions at home and at work. Eventually you learn to live with the loss, but are forever changed.

Anonymous wrote:My sister died in a car accident when I was a teen. Years later, my mom, who was still grieving my sister and had recently received scary medical news of her own, tried to kill herself. I had just finished college at the time and was home taking care of her through her diagnosis and treatment, and I woke up in the middle of the night knowing something was deeply wrong. I found her trying to commit suicide, and intervened. Being witness to that much raw human pain in someone I loved more than anyone in the world took me to a low I had never known before. And she was embarrassed, frustrated and hurting, and was never really the same after that night.

I wish that I had been older and wiser and better prepared to deal with all the emotions. She ended up dying a year later, of natural causes from her illness. I miss both her and my sister every day.

It was 20 years ago and the memories are incredibly real, but like others have said, I've experienced real pain and loss and it grounds me. I have built my own wonderful family and even though our lives are far from fairy tale perfect, I am quite a bit happier and less angst-ridden than most folks around me. There was no bouncing back involved, just putting one foot in front of the other and remembering the most important things I learned along the way.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother's illness with cancer and her death. After her death I went into a very dark place. It hurt so bad I thought the pain was going to kill me.

NP here. This is a fear of mine. My mom is a cancer survivor but I'm so scared it's going to recur and I'll lose her prematurely (she is only 70). The thought of life without my sweet mom is so painful. I don't know how I'm gonna do it when she's gone.

My mom was 61. We just moved back to be near her so she could enjoy her grandkids. She was an amazing mother and grandmother. A month after our move she was diagnosed with cancer and the rest of the following year we spent running back and forth from one appointment to another hoping for a miracle. She never got to retire and enjoy her family.

My sister died in a car accident when I was a teen. Years later, my mom, who was still grieving my sister and had recently received scary medical news of her own, tried to kill herself. I had just finished college at the time and was home taking care of her through her diagnosis and treatment, and I woke up in the middle of the night knowing something was deeply wrong. I found her trying to commit suicide, and intervened. Being witness to that much raw human pain in someone I loved more than anyone in the world took me to a low I had never known before. And she was embarrassed, frustrated and hurting, and was never really the same after that night.

I wish that I had been older and wiser and better prepared to deal with all the emotions. She ended up dying a year later, of natural causes from her illness. I miss both her and my sister every day.

It was 20 years ago and the memories are incredibly real, but like others have said, I've experienced real pain and loss and it grounds me. I have built my own wonderful family and even though our lives are far from fairy tale perfect, I am quite a bit happier and less angst-ridden than most folks around me. There was no bouncing back involved, just putting one foot in front of the other and remembering the most important things I learned along the way.

I got pregnant on the pill and my ex said I could do whatever I wanted and he would support me. Well, he lied and I spent a lot of my pregnancy crying. It got better because who has time to think when you have a baby? My son was the best distraction ever. He is 13 now and can be a PITA but life is good. My ex is gone and we don’t miss him.

In college, I attempted suicide and was subsequently institutionalized.

I dropped out of school afterwards.

I am now 40 and extremely happy with my life. It took a lot of therapy, meds, and time to heal a lot of stuff emotionally. I have a great life now- I finished school and have a career, three children, an amazing DH.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't want to go into too many details but I was young and lost a parent and favorite cousin along with so much more. I bounced back very slowly, more of a climb with one step at at time. The plus, 25 years later is that I'm grateful for every day that is not as bad as that year. My standards of happiness are so low that I'm really happy all the time. I wish you the best, keep looking forward.

I know exactly what you mean.

+1

So true! I trust people who act happy -- I know that they are not fake, and I know that they appreciate all that they have - truly. Sullen people bore me - they come across as spoiled, immature, naive and ungrateful.

Why do you assume this? Do you know their life stories &/or their medical histories? Maybe they have been through a lot of traumatic events ,have chemical imbalances/mental illnesses &/or physical illnesses requiring medications that cause depression.

Frankly, you seem the self centered, immature & naive one!

My baby was born with two club feet plus missing a fibula in one leg. My husband and I were in shock and so unsure as to what to do. Many surgeries later that little baby is now an incredibly successful 35 year old doctor and an amazing athlete.