Please tell her not to worry. I know it can be frustrating, but in the grand scheme of things, it's really so unimportant!

I was shy and not social, and still found out, completely by accident, that a boy liked me at school. I felt a little embarrassed, because I really didn't want to date anybody. He never told me anything directly, I never said anything, and that was that until college

Of course some boys like her. It's OK if they don't show it.

I was very pretty, but not white (Indian) in a white town. Boys did not seem to have crushes on me. This was back in the 80s/90s. Now I’m happily in a mixed marriage.

I was a girl who didn't get a lot of attention until my early 20's. It was painful.
At the same time, 14 year olds really have no business dating. At all. So be glad you don't have to tell her that, no, she cannot go out with so and so. Better for her to wait to date until she's closer to 16. 14 is still a baby. And yes, I have a 14 year old daughter.

Anonymous wrote:Boys are weird. There were girls who were decidedly not pretty in my class at that age but they were the most popular because they were worldly, outgoing, sporty.

I was going to say that growing up I can remember plenty of girls who were perfectly pretty in high school, and I knew they were nice, but their personalities were blah. They weren’t outgoing, didn’t do many activities, didn’t participate a lot or talk to many people outside of their few immediate friends. You really couldn’t tell what they were like. So I think that really worked against them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because at that age most of the boys are not interested in dating, and are still a few years behind in maturity compared to the girls of the same age .

The vast majority of 14 year old boys are extremely interested in girls. Sheesh people, where did you all grow up?

They may be interested in girls, theoretically speaking, but they are mostly not interested in dating, relationships, all that stuff.

Idk what is going on these days but I have 5 nieces and nephews who are teens / in college. Most of them do not seem to have GFs / BFs as much as I did at their age.

Idk the reason. There seems to be more bi / pansexual stuff going on than when I was a kid.

I do know the boys get talks before going to college about not being alone with a girl who has been drinking, stemming from the me too stuff.

I assume it will all work out but noting things seem to be a bit different from when I was a kid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a bizarre thread. Just because a girl is attractive, boys should want to date her? Is it possible she is mean? Has annoying habits? Etc? There are many, many reasons a boy wouldn't want to date a girl.

She is extremely sweet but very shy. I also think it's possible some boys might be intimidated by her intelligence, which is a nauseating mom thing to say for sure, but I still think there could be some truth to that. But I assure you she is definitely not mean nor has any annoying habits.

This is great - the reason boys aren't interested in her is some combination of her being shy and too awesome for them.

Glad to hear you're open to hearing honest answers to the question you asked, OP.

Well the other answer I'm hearing is that she's mean or stinks.

Well, of course - no one her knows your daughter. So how on earth do you expect any specific suggestions?

I am starting to think that boys don't ask her out because they think her mother is annoying, and kinda dense.

What have you told her so far about boys liking her? Have you told her that it doesn’t matter in the least because she should not look to them for validation? That she is to young to date? That her focus should be on school and being kind to herself and others?

What kind of female roll models does she have in her life? Ones that focus on looks and pleasing their husbands/boyfriends?

I have a freshman boy and a senior girl.


1. There are very few true couples in HS anymore

2. The girls who get attention early are the loud, obnoxious ones who are willing to hang all over the boys and are willing to send nudes

3. Guys have feelings too. If a girl isn’t acting like she likes a guy, why should he be expected to act like he likes her?

4. Consider yourself lucky that she doesn’t have to navigate this situation yet

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because at that age most of the boys are not interested in dating, and are still a few years behind in maturity compared to the girls of the same age .

The vast majority of 14 year old boys are extremely interested in girls. Sheesh people, where did you all grow up?

I have boys and at 14....not so much. Video Games...sure.

As the mother of a 14 year old boy, some boys don't have a clue about how to ask a girl out, express interest in a girl, etc. My son is good looking and there are girls that call and text him. His reaction is 'I don't know why they are doing this'. Um, I do. I let him be who he is and not pressure him to do anything he's not comfortable with. There are savvy boys just like there are savvy girls at this age. They have many years to ask out and be asked out. Maybe she should take the initiative and ask a boy out?

This is the stupidest thing to worry about.

How tall is she? A number of boys at 14 have yet to hit their growth spurt and lack confidence being shorter. Also, how old is she for her grade? Is she an older 8th Grader?

Shyness and not easy. Nobody wants to be rejected so they don’t say anything. My friend had a couple guys come to her after we graduated high school to say they had crushes on her all through school but she was so shy they were scared to approach. She dated one of them for ten years!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because at that age most of the boys are not interested in dating, and are still a few years behind in maturity compared to the girls of the same age .

The vast majority of 14 year old boys are extremely interested in girls. Sheesh people, where did you all grow up?

I have boys and at 14....not so much. Video Games...sure.

Count your lucky stars that she isn't growing up too fast, Op. She's 14 and feeling a bit insecure about herself which really isn't that unusual for that age.

I'm sure that boys think she's pretty but she is probably reserved/awkward with them and that makes her seem less approachable. And as others have pointed, most 14 year old boys are not even dating girls, yet.