Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

In what context were you ignored? Did you try to talk to people and then walked away from you without acknowledging you? Did they refuse to call on you when you raised your hand with a question during the meeting?

I'm the PP you're responding to. Although, at I was 43 at the time had had enough experience to know when I'm being shown I'm not welcome, I'll respond to your question. When I walked in to the library where the meeting was held, no one acknowledged me even though I made eye contact with several people. They look at me and then their glances 'slid' away. I went to a table where there were 4 people sitting and 3 empty seats. I sat at the table and waited for a pause in the conversation to say hello. When I did, they paused, looked at me, looked at each other and then said hello. They then moved their chairs a little further from me, bringing them closer to each other, made no further effort to speak with me and did not look in my direction the rest of the night. They also did not pass any of the handouts to me and I had to pointedly ask for one of the handouts and had to ask another table for another when they passed the papers to that table without giving me one.

At the next meeting, I sat at a different table with a different group. The behavior was very similar. So, yeah, I was ignored. I didn't bother raising my hand to speak. The next PTA president was radically different and the atmosphere far more encouraging and welcoming.

It’s rather strange to respond to this tread from 2019.

Cringe-worthy, ugh! And these things really do happen. And then they cry about being the only ones who work hard on creating community spirit. It's really a mean girls' magnet for some reason. What I don't understand is where all the money goes. Do you get to see the spreadsheets with spending? Not just the bullet-point list of what they did, but itemized expense sheets.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

In what context were you ignored? Did you try to talk to people and then walked away from you without acknowledging you? Did they refuse to call on you when you raised your hand with a question during the meeting?

I'm the PP you're responding to. Although, at I was 43 at the time had had enough experience to know when I'm being shown I'm not welcome, I'll respond to your question. When I walked in to the library where the meeting was held, no one acknowledged me even though I made eye contact with several people. They look at me and then their glances 'slid' away. I went to a table where there were 4 people sitting and 3 empty seats. I sat at the table and waited for a pause in the conversation to say hello. When I did, they paused, looked at me, looked at each other and then said hello. They then moved their chairs a little further from me, bringing them closer to each other, made no further effort to speak with me and did not look in my direction the rest of the night. They also did not pass any of the handouts to me and I had to pointedly ask for one of the handouts and had to ask another table for another when they passed the papers to that table without giving me one.

At the next meeting, I sat at a different table with a different group. The behavior was very similar. So, yeah, I was ignored. I didn't bother raising my hand to speak. The next PTA president was radically different and the atmosphere far more encouraging and welcoming.

It’s rather strange to respond to this tread from 2019.

Cringe-worthy, ugh! And these things really do happen. And then they cry about being the only ones who work hard on creating community spirit. It's really a mean girls' magnet for some reason. What I don't understand is where all the money goes. Do you get to see the spreadsheets with spending? Not just the bullet-point list of what they did, but itemized expense sheets.

Anonymous wrote:PTAs are to do things for the kids and teaches. I think it is awfully high maintenance to complain that you weren't treated with the right amount of enthusiastic deference. You aren't doing them a favor just by showing up.

Anonymous wrote:

In what context were you ignored? Did you try to talk to people and then walked away from you without acknowledging you? Did they refuse to call on you when you raised your hand with a question during the meeting?

I'm the PP you're responding to. Although, at I was 43 at the time had had enough experience to know when I'm being shown I'm not welcome, I'll respond to your question. When I walked in to the library where the meeting was held, no one acknowledged me even though I made eye contact with several people. They look at me and then their glances 'slid' away. I went to a table where there were 4 people sitting and 3 empty seats. I sat at the table and waited for a pause in the conversation to say hello. When I did, they paused, looked at me, looked at each other and then said hello. They then moved their chairs a little further from me, bringing them closer to each other, made no further effort to speak with me and did not look in my direction the rest of the night. They also did not pass any of the handouts to me and I had to pointedly ask for one of the handouts and had to ask another table for another when they passed the papers to that table without giving me one.

At the next meeting, I sat at a different table with a different group. The behavior was very similar. So, yeah, I was ignored. I didn't bother raising my hand to speak. The next PTA president was radically different and the atmosphere far more encouraging and welcoming.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

In what context were you ignored? Did you try to talk to people and then walked away from you without acknowledging you? Did they refuse to call on you when you raised your hand with a question during the meeting?

I'm the PP you're responding to. Although, at I was 43 at the time had had enough experience to know when I'm being shown I'm not welcome, I'll respond to your question. When I walked in to the library where the meeting was held, no one acknowledged me even though I made eye contact with several people. They look at me and then their glances 'slid' away. I went to a table where there were 4 people sitting and 3 empty seats. I sat at the table and waited for a pause in the conversation to say hello. When I did, they paused, looked at me, looked at each other and then said hello. They then moved their chairs a little further from me, bringing them closer to each other, made no further effort to speak with me and did not look in my direction the rest of the night. They also did not pass any of the handouts to me and I had to pointedly ask for one of the handouts and had to ask another table for another when they passed the papers to that table without giving me one.

At the next meeting, I sat at a different table with a different group. The behavior was very similar. So, yeah, I was ignored. I didn't bother raising my hand to speak. The next PTA president was radically different and the atmosphere far more encouraging and welcoming.

Well that was snide. Perhaps the same winning personality you’ve shown here is why people weren’t interested in chatting you up at the PTA meeting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow - where are these awful PTAs? I have had two kids in five schools so far, and nowhere did we see this drama. Parents come to the meetings and volunteer as needed, which is always welcome. Or they come to the meetings and don't volunteer, which is fine too. Or they send money and don't do anything else - also fine. Or they don't belong to the PTA at all, and nobody cares. I was in all those scenarios, and on the board of a few. Never had anyone time for drama - we were there to get stuff done in the most efficient way possible so we could get back to our jobs, kids, lives. Nobody had time to dwell on how any particular person perceived their "reception". Get over yourself, OP. Either volunteer, or don't. If you want warm and fuzzy, form a book club or a support group. Done.

This is hilarious. You spend sentences talking about how awesome and accepting your PTA was and then end up telling OP that they're expecting too much to be treated civilly and suggest therapy. Is it possible you're part of the problem OP's describing?

The reason that PTA snobbishness is of note is not because people are looking for BFFs or unconditional positive regard, it's that parents who want to volunteer are boxed out and treated rudely by the mostly SAHMs who run the things. Most of us are big girls and boys who can handle cool civility or even cold efficiency, it's the stupid shit like being ignored when one speaks or having adults act like Regina George that is off-putting. And it's odd to encounter that level of immaturity trying to pitch in at your kids' school, from people who moan about how much they're doing and how no one else will help them.

Anonymous wrote:Wow - where are these awful PTAs? I have had two kids in five schools so far, and nowhere did we see this drama. Parents come to the meetings and volunteer as needed, which is always welcome. Or they come to the meetings and don't volunteer, which is fine too. Or they send money and don't do anything else - also fine. Or they don't belong to the PTA at all, and nobody cares. I was in all those scenarios, and on the board of a few. Never had anyone time for drama - we were there to get stuff done in the most efficient way possible so we could get back to our jobs, kids, lives. Nobody had time to dwell on how any particular person perceived their "reception". Get over yourself, OP. Either volunteer, or don't. If you want warm and fuzzy, form a book club or a support group. Done.

Anonymous wrote:PTA in my child's school is absolutely criminal (lots of missing $$), but everyone is too afraid of them to do anything.