Playing, baking, trampoline park, dinner, AND movie?! That is seven hours, minimum. No wonder she brought a pillow!!

First, my 12-year-old doesn’t have play dates. She does hang out with friends at our house or their house though. She and her friends plan their own activities/outings also. They do have to get permission from all sets of parents though.

Anonymous wrote:I had a similar situation. I told the parents that it was a day thing and not sleepover which we can do another time. We all acknowledged the misunderstanding but they were upset/pissed because they turned on me... wanted to pick their daughter early and didn't want her to stay for dinner. It was awkward and uncomfortable when they picked her up. I felt so bad. I didn't think they'd react that way. I think I ruined my DD's friendship.

The parents had a date night planned got screwed up because the kid wasn’t spending the night. They just took it out on you. Crappy thing for parents to do.

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious how old DD and her friend are.

seriously, go back to the little kids board. Who has play dates for tweens and teens?

I think it's hilarious you discussed and planned this with DH and the parents did the communicating. I seriously thought this was going to be about younger children.

12 year old should be making their own plans and ideas and sorting things out together.

I'm only involved in the permission stage and the confirmation stage

After the fact, Larla, where do you think Libby got the idea this was a sleepover? In the future I guess we will have to be very specific about pick up time.

That's it unless it happens again. Also, agree with the others, way to much planning. It should be "what do you and Libby plan to do on Saturday?" "What do you think she would like for dinner?"

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, they totally planned that on their own. At that age with that plan, I’d think nothing of it if my kid said it was a sleepover.

Of course they did! All you have to do is check their texts. You need to pull your head out of your ass!

Except the dads communicated with each other. Seems like a parent fail on one or the other side of the communication.

FWIW I’d let her stay and check my dds texts.

You DD played you. We had a rule with sleepovers: we coordinate with parents. They were usually ok. But not always. Now, DD is older and she organizes it herself, but has to ask permission.

DD did try it once. Invited a friend over without asking. That did not end well for DD. (she would have gotten away with it, but our dog ratter her out; dog gave her really exited Larla is here bark).

That is a crazy amount of activities for just a regular old play date. Sounds more like a birthday situation.

OP, take this as an indication that you need to communicate a lot more with both your daughter and the other family. You are not manipulating objects in space. Your daughter, the other kid, and the other family are all people whose needs get considered.

Of course, you have needs to and you could have spoken up and said "Oh, we didn't realize you were sleeping over." And made a decision whether or not that was okay. It wouldn't be a big deal in my house.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious how old DD and her friend are.

They're 6th graders... so 11/12yrs.

Pro-tip: Stop referring to the times when your 6th grader gets together with a friend as a “play date.” Your daughter invited a friend over.

And stop having the whole time the friend is over filled with parent planned activities. Tweens do not need their parents to plan every moment of their free time with friends.

This. It sounds like you were getting two four year olds together.

Anonymous wrote:I had a similar situation. I told the parents that it was a day thing and not sleepover which we can do another time. We all acknowledged the misunderstanding but they were upset/pissed because they turned on me... wanted to pick their daughter early and didn't want her to stay for dinner. It was awkward and uncomfortable when they picked her up. I felt so bad. I didn't think they'd react that way. I think I ruined my DD's friendship.

They may have already had plans at the time you wanted her picked up and it was best for them at the time they choose.

Anonymous wrote:I have a seven-year-old and do not plan my daughter’s play dates. Part of the fun is that they can decide what to do (within reason).

But yeah, with the sleepover agree with PPs that the kids planned it out.

I did not plan my son’s time with friends either when he was 7. Now that he is 12, I do anything possible to get them out of the house. Two tween boys are way too destructive. Not sure about girls, but I could see planning some outings to get them out of the house.

I had a similar situation. I told the parents that it was a day thing and not sleepover which we can do another time. We all acknowledged the misunderstanding but they were upset/pissed because they turned on me... wanted to pick their daughter early and didn't want her to stay for dinner. It was awkward and uncomfortable when they picked her up. I felt so bad. I didn't think they'd react that way. I think I ruined my DD's friendship.

A "playdate" should not include a trip to the trampoline park. That would fall under "outing". Just sayin.