Anonymous
01/30/2019 17:43
Subject: Re:SAHM just back to work...
I am a sham back to work (after a decade) and completely agree with you. Working is way easier than childcare and house crap. I’m sure I’ll get flamed for this, but dropping your kids in daycare and working is he easy way out.
I worked full time, then went PT for a few years at a high paying job, and now am back to FT. I always found, without exception, SAHMs paid very little actual attention to their kids, whereas working moms valued the time and paid a lot of attention to their kids. I think because SAHM have so much more time in the day to spend there is more quantity/being in proximity, but not necessarily quality. This bears out in studies showing working moms spend MORE TIME with their kids than moms from the studies.
Anonymous
01/30/2019 17:38
Subject: SAHM just back to work...
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I am a sham back to work (after a decade) and completely agree with you. Working is way easier than childcare and house crap. I’m sure I’ll get flamed for this, but dropping your kids in daycare and working is he easy way out.
Imagine if we could all just acknowledge that everyone finds different things harder and you can make a choice without putting down others.
Op definitely has a holier than thou vibe. I would love to hear how she reduced her household labor time by half but still gets most done. I doubt lunched and diaper changes were the bulk of her day, yet working is easier? Presumably she was slogging all day SAH, and now doesn’t do any work in day yet life is easier? What was she doing all day, where her children cage fighters?
Rasing children is HARD. The constant responsibility, emotional and mental development, feeding them cleaning them, playing with them. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that outsourcing childcare is easier than doing it yourself. Much like hiring someone to clean your house.
Anonymous
01/30/2019 17:02
Subject: SAHM just back to work...
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I am a sham back to work (after a decade) and completely agree with you. Working is way easier than childcare and house crap. I’m sure I’ll get flamed for this, but dropping your kids in daycare and working is he easy way out.
Imagine if we could all just acknowledge that everyone finds different things harder and you can make a choice without putting down others.
Op definitely has a holier than thou vibe. I would love to hear how she reduced her household labor time by half but still gets most done. I doubt lunched and diaper changes were the bulk of her day, yet working is easier? Presumably she was slogging all day SAH, and now doesn’t do any work in day yet life is easier? What was she doing all day, where her children cage fighters?
Anonymous
01/30/2019 16:24
Subject: SAHM just back to work...
Anonymous wrote:I am a sham back to work (after a decade) and completely agree with you. Working is way easier than childcare and house crap. I’m sure I’ll get flamed for this, but dropping your kids in daycare and working is he easy way out.
Imagine if we could all just acknowledge that everyone finds different things harder and you can make a choice without putting down others.
Anonymous
01/30/2019 13:17
Subject: SAHM just back to work...
Anonymous wrote:WOHM with 3 kids, curious how you have it setup that life is easier than SAH?
I SAH for year with each kid, that was such a dream, though we accepted simple dinners and a messy house when they were infants (and infants don’t make messes like toddlers)
But you had time at home when kids could be sleeping or put into playpen/high chair and get stuff at home done.
When you are at work, there is no time to get stuff done. I guess if your job is super chill, you can hang out with coffee and read Facebook — but stuff at home still awaits?
So how do drop off and pickup kids, commmute, work 8.5 hours, then get home and make dinner, laundry, clean etc? Are your kids in daycare like 7-6?
Or maybe you have a nanny who cooks and cleans? If that is the case, yeah, WAY EASIER.
Please let us know; we split drop off and pickup, and DH cooks and cleans most nights, but we are always behind on stuff at home. And our jobs are demanding in that they are non-stop and sometimes have off-hours demands, but aren’t long hours and are just 30 minute commutes.
Would love to hear how to make easier than the time I was home!
NP, and I only have two kids and work full time, but yes, our key is our nanny, who runs errands, makes food, does laundry, etc., while the kids are at school. The maid cleans. My job is high paying and super flexible and generally not too stressful, although my husband does travel quite a bit, and I travel some. So my life is way easier with a job and full-time nanny than it would be if I didn't work outside of the house. So outsourcing a ton is our way of handling things, but I am fully aware of how lucky and privileged we are to be able to do that.
Anonymous
01/30/2019 12:34
Subject: SAHM just back to work...
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Can we all just agree to band together and demand one year of leave for both mothers and fathers? It's not WOH vs SAH, it's people vs gov't/corporations.
Unless it is paid leave, it really doesn't help anyone, since only those that can afford to SAH anyway will be able to take it. You will never get 12 months paid maternity/paternity leave from any company.
Yes, of course it's paid. By ourselves and then dolled out by the government. You know, like they have in scandinavia.
Won't ever happen. No point.
Anonymous
01/30/2019 12:31
Subject: SAHM just back to work...
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I am a sham back to work (after a decade) and completely agree with you. Working is way easier than childcare and house crap. I’m sure I’ll get flamed for this, but dropping your kids in daycare and working is he easy way out.
Said the woman who didn't have to sit balling her eyes out at work because she had to drop her 12 week old infant at daycare. Or get nasty looks from her coworkers bc daycare is calling to say her infant is sick for the 3rd time in 5 weeks and she needs to leave work early to pick him up.
Lady STFU you have no idea what you're talking about. Glad you are enjoying your coffee breaks.
+1 and I am a sahm myself. Op wanted to start a war. Bit$$ needs to stfu.
Kind of agree. I think OP is still a sahm at heart and wants working moms to feel somehow lazy.
+1 They so obviously both have their easier parts and harder parts and so depend on what your workplace is like, what your kids are like, how many and how close in ages they are, how involved your spouse is, how much support you can afford, how far your commute is, how much you find your work fulfilling, how much you enjoy domestic work and childcare, what kind of community you have around you etc etc etc. To declare either one harder or easier is just baiting people
Anonymous
01/30/2019 12:10
Subject: SAHM just back to work...
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Can we all just agree to band together and demand one year of leave for both mothers and fathers? It's not WOH vs SAH, it's people vs gov't/corporations.
Unless it is paid leave, it really doesn't help anyone, since only those that can afford to SAH anyway will be able to take it. You will never get 12 months paid maternity/paternity leave from any company.
Yes, of course it's paid. By ourselves and then dolled out by the government. You know, like they have in scandinavia.
Anonymous
01/30/2019 10:44
Subject: SAHM just back to work...
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I am a sham back to work (after a decade) and completely agree with you. Working is way easier than childcare and house crap. I’m sure I’ll get flamed for this, but dropping your kids in daycare and working is he easy way out.
Said the woman who didn't have to sit balling her eyes out at work because she had to drop her 12 week old infant at daycare. Or get nasty looks from her coworkers bc daycare is calling to say her infant is sick for the 3rd time in 5 weeks and she needs to leave work early to pick him up.
Lady STFU you have no idea what you're talking about. Glad you are enjoying your coffee breaks.
+1 and I am a sahm myself. Op wanted to start a war. Bit$$ needs to stfu.
Kind of agree. I think OP is still a sahm at heart and wants working moms to feel somehow lazy.
Anonymous
01/30/2019 10:35
Subject: SAHM just back to work...
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I am a sham back to work (after a decade) and completely agree with you. Working is way easier than childcare and house crap. I’m sure I’ll get flamed for this, but dropping your kids in daycare and working is he easy way out.
Said the woman who didn't have to sit balling her eyes out at work because she had to drop her 12 week old infant at daycare. Or get nasty looks from her coworkers bc daycare is calling to say her infant is sick for the 3rd time in 5 weeks and she needs to leave work early to pick him up.
Lady STFU you have no idea what you're talking about. Glad you are enjoying your coffee breaks.
+1 and I am a sahm myself. Op wanted to start a war. Bit$$ needs to stfu.
I am trying to not take the troll bait, but honestly want to know how she makes it easier. Losing 50 hrs a week to job and commute is a big hit to household labor, and kids are not that hands on 24/7 so clearly something has to give.
Anonymous
01/30/2019 10:28
Subject: SAHM just back to work...
Anonymous wrote:Can we all just agree to band together and demand one year of leave for both mothers and fathers? It's not WOH vs SAH, it's people vs gov't/corporations.
Unless it is paid leave, it really doesn't help anyone, since only those that can afford to SAH anyway will be able to take it. You will never get 12 months paid maternity/paternity leave from any company.
Anonymous
01/30/2019 09:32
Subject: SAHM just back to work...
Can we all just agree to band together and demand one year of leave for both mothers and fathers? It's not WOH vs SAH, it's people vs gov't/corporations.
Anonymous
01/30/2019 09:31
Subject: SAHM just back to work...
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I am a sham back to work (after a decade) and completely agree with you. Working is way easier than childcare and house crap. I’m sure I’ll get flamed for this, but dropping your kids in daycare and working is he easy way out.
Said the woman who didn't have to sit balling her eyes out at work because she had to drop her 12 week old infant at daycare. Or get nasty looks from her coworkers bc daycare is calling to say her infant is sick for the 3rd time in 5 weeks and she needs to leave work early to pick him up.
Lady STFU you have no idea what you're talking about. Glad you are enjoying your coffee breaks.
+1 and I am a sahm myself. Op wanted to start a war. Bit$$ needs to stfu.
Anonymous
01/30/2019 09:26
Subject: SAHM just back to work...
Anonymous wrote:I am a sham back to work (after a decade) and completely agree with you. Working is way easier than childcare and house crap. I’m sure I’ll get flamed for this, but dropping your kids in daycare and working is he easy way out.
Said the woman who didn't have to sit balling her eyes out at work because she had to drop her 12 week old infant at daycare. Or get nasty looks from her coworkers bc daycare is calling to say her infant is sick for the 3rd time in 5 weeks and she needs to leave work early to pick him up.
Lady STFU you have no idea what you're talking about. Glad you are enjoying your coffee breaks.
Anonymous
01/30/2019 09:20
Subject: SAHM just back to work...
I work part-time and I do feel like work days are easier. Everyone is different, though. I know people who feel the opposite. I think when it comes to this stuff, everyone should take a deep breath and remember "to each his/her own". If we were all the same and wanted the same things, life would be pretty damn dull.