Anonymous
Post 01/21/2019 09:42     Subject: Husbands are Expensive
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Generally speaking, after a divorce, the woman's standard of living declines, and the man's increases. That tells you that it is women who are the disproportionately expensive partner in the marriage, not men, generally speaking.

I'm already paying the mortgage and paying for day care and extracurriculars. If I got divorced, she'd have to pay her own mortgage, and she'd have to contribute to child care and extracurriculars as she does not currently do. As a result, I'd be better off and she'd be worse off. (This assumes 50/50 custody, of course.)


This just shows you that women earn less money than men. Usually because they are doing a disproportionate amount of unpaid domestic work.

That makes no sense. After the divorce, living in 2 different residences, unpaid domestic work is whatever he and she each decide it should be. Are you saying women choose to do lots of unnecessary domestic work? Because if it were necessary, he'd be doing same amount at his place.


No. I am saying that she will likely have a lower income because when children were born, she took on more of the child raising work and stepped back in the workforce.
The implication that women have a lower standard of living post divorce is because, despite earning the same income, they spend more on themselves is incorrect.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2019 09:15     Subject: Husbands are Expensive
To OP, yes, being single gets better and better.

For a long time, I kept it to myself that I actually feel good about being divorced, cause other people assume you should be miserable. I sometimes wonder if I am lying to myself too. But now there is actually research data showing this is true, here it is:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/201901/single-life-gets-even-better-age-new-research-shows?from=timeline&isappinstalled=0

Anonymous
Post 01/21/2019 08:53     Subject: Husbands are Expensive
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Generally speaking, after a divorce, the woman's standard of living declines, and the man's increases. That tells you that it is women who are the disproportionately expensive partner in the marriage, not men, generally speaking.

I'm already paying the mortgage and paying for day care and extracurriculars. If I got divorced, she'd have to pay her own mortgage, and she'd have to contribute to child care and extracurriculars as she does not currently do. As a result, I'd be better off and she'd be worse off. (This assumes 50/50 custody, of course.)


This just shows you that women earn less money than men. Usually because they are doing a disproportionate amount of unpaid domestic work.

That makes no sense. After the divorce, living in 2 different residences, unpaid domestic work is whatever he and she each decide it should be. Are you saying women choose to do lots of unnecessary domestic work? Because if it were necessary, he'd be doing same amount at his place.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2019 19:19     Subject: Husbands are Expensive
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Good lord some of you are so defensive and sensitive little snowflakes aren't you? If you don't resemble the remark, don't worry about it. She wasn't ACTUALLY talking about you, you do realize that, right? She was only referring to her life and her husband's habits.

I can't believe I had to type that out for some of you.


Thank you! Voice of reason right here.


That’s not the voice of reason. OP made a sweeping generalization and probably expected a ton of people to post and validate her. It would be like if I complained about how husbands love to fill the DVR so full with curling during the Winter Olympics that it erases the rest of the family’s recordings, amiright? But no, those aren’t generally stereotypes that apply to most husbands. In fact, guys disliking shopping is a commonly accepted stereotype which would imply that husbands aren’t as expensive as wives.

If OP doesn’t want everyone to argue with her sweeping generalizations, she needs to say things like “my ex husband was expensive” or “wow, I’m saving so much money on food after my divorce.” Those don’t imply she thinks all husbands do those things, and not as many posters will read it and feel the need to share their experiences that are at odds with OP’s title.

Back to the OP’s point, my DH likes expensive dinners but he takes a sandwich for lunch and eats cereal every morning for breakfast. He hates to eat out. He likes meat at dinner, which does make meals more expensive, but overall I wouldn’t say he adds more than the average person to our food bill. My teenagers, though, they eat everything. I’m constantly buying them food.


Do you lack critical thinking skills in all areas of life, or just here? She wasn't. speaking. to. you. No need to respond with what your husband eats every day. She wasn't actually speaking about you and your relationship.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2019 19:03     Subject: Husbands are Expensive
Anonymous wrote:Water and electric bill went down in addition to the grocery bill. Yay!


Who paid it before? If you are now paying 100% of a smaller amount, rather than 0% or 50% of a larger amount, you're still worse off.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2019 19:01     Subject: Husbands are Expensive
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Generally speaking, after a divorce, the woman's standard of living declines, and the man's increases. That tells you that it is women who are the disproportionately expensive partner in the marriage, not men, generally speaking.

I'm already paying the mortgage and paying for day care and extracurriculars. If I got divorced, she'd have to pay her own mortgage, and she'd have to contribute to child care and extracurriculars as she does not currently do. As a result, I'd be better off and she'd be worse off. (This assumes 50/50 custody, of course.)


This just shows you that women earn less money than men. Usually because they are doing a disproportionate amount of unpaid domestic work.


Nope. I make 66% of the HHI but cover more than 66% of the expenses. She is disproportionately expensive.

Also, I do more than my share of the domestic work, so if we got divorced, she'd be worse off on that front, too.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2019 18:58     Subject: Re:Husbands are Expensive
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How much did he spend on makeup, beauty products, and getting his hair done?


Actually my DH spends way more on getting constant haircuts and toiletries than I do. I get a haircut once a year. He gets a haircut every month. I don't wear much makeup and I don't pay to have my hair done.


If his haircuts cost $15 like mine do, then he probably does NOT spend more on his hair than you.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2019 18:50     Subject: Husbands are Expensive
Water and electric bill went down in addition to the grocery bill. Yay!
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2019 17:55     Subject: Husbands are Expensive
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Good lord some of you are so defensive and sensitive little snowflakes aren't you? If you don't resemble the remark, don't worry about it. She wasn't ACTUALLY talking about you, you do realize that, right? She was only referring to her life and her husband's habits.

I can't believe I had to type that out for some of you.


Thank you! Voice of reason right here.


That’s not the voice of reason. OP made a sweeping generalization and probably expected a ton of people to post and validate her. It would be like if I complained about how husbands love to fill the DVR so full with curling during the Winter Olympics that it erases the rest of the family’s recordings, amiright? But no, those aren’t generally stereotypes that apply to most husbands. In fact, guys disliking shopping is a commonly accepted stereotype which would imply that husbands aren’t as expensive as wives.

If OP doesn’t want everyone to argue with her sweeping generalizations, she needs to say things like “my ex husband was expensive” or “wow, I’m saving so much money on food after my divorce.” Those don’t imply she thinks all husbands do those things, and not as many posters will read it and feel the need to share their experiences that are at odds with OP’s title.

Back to the OP’s point, my DH likes expensive dinners but he takes a sandwich for lunch and eats cereal every morning for breakfast. He hates to eat out. He likes meat at dinner, which does make meals more expensive, but overall I wouldn’t say he adds more than the average person to our food bill. My teenagers, though, they eat everything. I’m constantly buying them food.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2019 16:13     Subject: Re:Husbands are Expensive
I hear you, OP. My ex was also expensive. Always spent more money than me on food, tech gadgets, clothing, gym, online subscriptions, cable packages, etc. And I was the higher earner and covered the bulk of it. My expenses went down dramatically after we divorced. Enjoy the greater control over your budget & expenses. For me, like for you, it was definitely a bright side to divorce (among many others, actually).
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2019 15:08     Subject: Husbands are Expensive
Just let the OP have her moment of happiness. OP. Your husband's clothes were bigger, too, creating more laundry, and need for laundry soap! Whoohoo! Less laundry, folding, and ick! Men's underwear is gross!

(it's OK, hunny, I still love your y fronts.)
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2019 15:01     Subject: Husbands are Expensive
Anonymous wrote:Generally speaking, after a divorce, the woman's standard of living declines, and the man's increases. That tells you that it is women who are the disproportionately expensive partner in the marriage, not men, generally speaking.

I'm already paying the mortgage and paying for day care and extracurriculars. If I got divorced, she'd have to pay her own mortgage, and she'd have to contribute to child care and extracurriculars as she does not currently do. As a result, I'd be better off and she'd be worse off. (This assumes 50/50 custody, of course.)


This just shows you that women earn less money than men. Usually because they are doing a disproportionate amount of unpaid domestic work.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2019 14:56     Subject: Re:Husbands are Expensive
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Man here. Yes, I eat a lot of food. But I also buy most of the food and I do the cooking because I care the most about what food is served, when, and in what quantity.


Yep, my wife is a terrible cook and has no imagination in food. She thinks frozen lasagna is a treat. She can heat something up, but doesn't have a grip on cooking at all.


I love all these guys that cook! I would be happy to buy the groceries and do the dishes if DH cooked.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2019 14:53     Subject: Husbands are Expensive
DH likes his expensive cable package (sports and hbo) and eats lunch out every weekday. We can afford it so I don’t complain but certainly would suggest he cut back if we weren’t saving or meeting our financial obligations.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2019 14:53     Subject: Re:Husbands are Expensive
Anonymous wrote:Man here. Yes, I eat a lot of food. But I also buy most of the food and I do the cooking because I care the most about what food is served, when, and in what quantity.


Yep, my wife is a terrible cook and has no imagination in food. She thinks frozen lasagna is a treat. She can heat something up, but doesn't have a grip on cooking at all.