Anonymous
Post 01/01/2019 12:00     Subject: Co-ed sleepover, 13 year old
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Not OP but what if it is a co-ed sleep over at a church youth group? The church is small, with about 15 teens and there are maybe 4 church leaders (husband and wife x2) and 3 older youth counselled.

We said no but just also curious what the rest would say.


We say yes all the time. Kids love the lock ins. Most don't sleep.

My son does typically about 3 a.m.

I often chaperone. The kids are never alone.
On my last one at about 6 am the boys and girls were sitting on the huge sectional, most quietly talking, some dozing. There were 3 adults in the room, awake and watching them.



Thank you. That’s exactly what my teen and his friends said. No one sleeps
In the church lock in. And they make breakfast at 7....
Anonymous
Post 01/01/2019 11:56     Subject: Co-ed sleepover, 13 year old
OP Have you a sex talk with your child?

Anonymous
Post 01/01/2019 11:52     Subject: Co-ed sleepover, 13 year old
Anonymous wrote:Not OP but what if it is a co-ed sleep over at a church youth group? The church is small, with about 15 teens and there are maybe 4 church leaders (husband and wife x2) and 3 older youth counselled.

We said no but just also curious what the rest would say.


We say yes all the time. Kids love the lock ins. Most don't sleep.

My son does typically about 3 a.m.

I often chaperone. The kids are never alone.
On my last one at about 6 am the boys and girls were sitting on the huge sectional, most quietly talking, some dozing. There were 3 adults in the room, awake and watching them.
Anonymous
Post 01/01/2019 11:47     Subject: Co-ed sleepover, 13 year old
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I agree kids will find a way to have sex, but I'm not going to make it easy for them. Nope.

If you host coed sleepovers, do you get direct parental permission? All it takes is one girl lying to her parents. I would not want to deal with the other parents fury if/when they found out.


There was only 1 kid whose parents I didn’t tell. Her parents are hyper-religious, and they wouldn’t have let her attend if they knew there were gays in the mix. I don’t think it’s right to out kids to adults. I suppose I could have just said “Larlo is staying over tonight, too.” It seems like it would cause unnecessary unease and drama. Even if they were attracted to each other, I don’t think they would get too far in a room full of teens. My apartment is small, and they all sleep in the small living room.


Are you San Francisco poster?

That is not your decision to make for someone else's child.


I don’t know anything about San Francisco poster.

I didn’t decide that their child is a lesbian. They decided to make that an unapproachable subject with their teen. I’m not getting into the middle of all that.
Anonymous
Post 01/01/2019 10:02     Subject: Co-ed sleepover, 13 year old
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Not OP but what if it is a co-ed sleep over at a church youth group? The church is small, with about 15 teens and there are maybe 4 church leaders (husband and wife x2) and 3 older youth counselled.

We said no but just also curious what the rest would say.


I would be just as uncomfortable with this, if not more so. But my kids are not involved in youth groups with co-ed retreats and mixed sleepovers so I have no experience.


I had sex with my youth group minister when I was 15. At the time I thought I was soooo cool this older guy liked me. Of course looking back I know how terrible it was.
Anonymous
Post 01/01/2019 09:52     Subject: Co-ed sleepover, 13 year old
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I agree kids will find a way to have sex, but I'm not going to make it easy for them. Nope.

If you host coed sleepovers, do you get direct parental permission? All it takes is one girl lying to her parents. I would not want to deal with the other parents fury if/when they found out.


There was only 1 kid whose parents I didn’t tell. Her parents are hyper-religious, and they wouldn’t have let her attend if they knew there were gays in the mix. I don’t think it’s right to out kids to adults. I suppose I could have just said “Larlo is staying over tonight, too.” It seems like it would cause unnecessary unease and drama. Even if they were attracted to each other, I don’t think they would get too far in a room full of teens. My apartment is small, and they all sleep in the small living room.


Are you San Francisco poster?

That is not your decision to make for someone else's child.
Anonymous
Post 01/01/2019 09:50     Subject: Co-ed sleepover, 13 year old
Anonymous wrote:If this party is tonight in downtown Silver Spring, there are lots of kids attending and the parents have done these for years. The kids don’t actually sleep, but at some point, they are physically segregated by gender. I was also leery the first time, but it’s been fine.


Wow, you are gullible.
Anonymous
Post 01/01/2019 09:49     Subject: Co-ed sleepover, 13 year old
Anonymous wrote:Not OP but what if it is a co-ed sleep over at a church youth group? The church is small, with about 15 teens and there are maybe 4 church leaders (husband and wife x2) and 3 older youth counselled.

We said no but just also curious what the rest would say.


Just remember the church’ moto, no sex before marriage unless it is with a priest.
Anonymous
Post 01/01/2019 09:34     Subject: Co-ed sleepover, 13 year old
A hard NO.
Anonymous
Post 01/01/2019 09:32     Subject: Co-ed sleepover, 13 year old
Anonymous wrote:Not OP but what if it is a co-ed sleep over at a church youth group? The church is small, with about 15 teens and there are maybe 4 church leaders (husband and wife x2) and 3 older youth counselled.

We said no but just also curious what the rest would say.


I would be just as uncomfortable with this, if not more so. But my kids are not involved in youth groups with co-ed retreats and mixed sleepovers so I have no experience.
Anonymous
Post 01/01/2019 08:20     Subject: Co-ed sleepover, 13 year old
The teens are gr7-10.
Anonymous
Post 01/01/2019 08:19     Subject: Co-ed sleepover, 13 year old
Not OP but what if it is a co-ed sleep over at a church youth group? The church is small, with about 15 teens and there are maybe 4 church leaders (husband and wife x2) and 3 older youth counselled.

We said no but just also curious what the rest would say.
Anonymous
Post 01/01/2019 04:42     Subject: Co-ed sleepover, 13 year old
Anonymous wrote:I agree kids will find a way to have sex, but I'm not going to make it easy for them. Nope.

If you host coed sleepovers, do you get direct parental permission? All it takes is one girl lying to her parents. I would not want to deal with the other parents fury if/when they found out.


There was only 1 kid whose parents I didn’t tell. Her parents are hyper-religious, and they wouldn’t have let her attend if they knew there were gays in the mix. I don’t think it’s right to out kids to adults. I suppose I could have just said “Larlo is staying over tonight, too.” It seems like it would cause unnecessary unease and drama. Even if they were attracted to each other, I don’t think they would get too far in a room full of teens. My apartment is small, and they all sleep in the small living room.
Anonymous
Post 01/01/2019 04:19     Subject: Co-ed sleepover, 13 year old
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My DD has done many of these. The kids don't even change their clothes to sleep. You guys hyper-sexualize everything.


+1

-someone who went to sleepovers like this all the time as a teen (yet somehow remained a virgin until my 20s — unlike a lot of my friends whose parents forbid them from attending)


I hosted and went to parties like this too. Anything we could’ve done overnight, we could’ve done any other time of day. It probably would’ve been easier to do more risky behavior right after school while our parents were working than overnight while they were home and supervising.

I get the gut reaction to say no, but really, it’s probably not the den of iniquity you’re imagining.
Anonymous
Post 01/01/2019 03:16     Subject: Co-ed sleepover, 13 year old
I agree kids will find a way to have sex, but I'm not going to make it easy for them. Nope.

If you host coed sleepovers, do you get direct parental permission? All it takes is one girl lying to her parents. I would not want to deal with the other parents fury if/when they found out.