My goddaughter, now late 20s, identified as bi, had multiple gay relationships, and then dated a transgender male for a couple of years. And then married a guy. She is now blissfully happy and her first baby is on the way. She no longer considers herself bi. So sometimes it is really something they have to work out. (In her case, sexual abuse/exploitation from dad and other men when she was 8-12.) Not saying always, but sometimes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DD is still a teen! How long ago/at what age would you expect her to have come to terms with her sexuality enough to have come out to her parents???

English please?

That comment was perfectly coherent. Sorry you can’t read.

-NP

NP here and I read it several times and still don’t understand it so I was glad it wasn’t just me!

Really? I’m not the one who wrote it, but here’s what it means. OP’s daughter is 17. For many people, it takes time for them to figure out their sexuality for themselves, and even longer to feel comfortable coming out to others as anything other than heterosexual. While people are working through all that, it’s very common to give the appearance of heterosexuality because they are not ready for other people to figure out they’re not heterosexual. Therefore, the fact that, at the age of only 17, OP’s daughter had previously displayed only heterosexual behavior isn’t surprising and does not make her statement that she is bi less legitimate.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you that defensive that you can’t admit it’s the normal course of human biology? Have you noticed how the male and female parts line up?! (Am I trying to explain this to a tween???)

Penises also line up with other orifices, whether male or female. I knew a guy in college who had a thing for armpits.

One of the things that I've learned through Anatomy and Physiology is that the skin cells of the vagina are actually made for sexual contact. They're tough. The skin cells of the anus are much more delicate, prone to damage, and are one of the reasons why HIV spreads so easily man-to-man.

Are you unaware that millions of heterosexual couples have anal sex? Or that anal intercourse isn’t even the most common sexual activity for gay men? I worked in public health.

Anonymous wrote:It’s not fashionable. It’s normal, and biologically necessary for the survival of the species.

(When I say “normal” it doesn’t mean other ways are negative, just not the norm. Normal isn’t a judgment call, it refers to what occurs most often in human nature.)

Heterosexuality is not biologically necessary for the survival of the species. Heterosexual sex used to be -- whether the people having it were straight, gay, bi, or whatever -- but that's not true anymore.

OP, I got out my crystal ball, and here is my prediction: your daughter will either continue to identify as bi (or pan), or she will start identifying as straight, or she will start identifying as a lesbian, or she will do more than one of those things over the course of her life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you that defensive that you can’t admit it’s the normal course of human biology? Have you noticed how the male and female parts line up?! (Am I trying to explain this to a tween???)

Penises also line up with other orifices, whether male or female. I knew a guy in college who had a thing for armpits.

One of the things that I've learned through Anatomy and Physiology is that the skin cells of the vagina are actually made for sexual contact. They're tough. The skin cells of the anus are much more delicate, prone to damage, and are one of the reasons why HIV spreads so easily man-to-man.

Anonymous wrote:Oh good god. How did this thread devolve into such homophobic nonsense.

OP, just support your daughter. In the end does it matter if she likes girls? Probably not. You know what does matter? The reason why many LGBTQ kids struggle is because they don’t get the support and acceptance they need from those closest to them. So, help her by not wasting mental energy on whether she’s going to change her mind and just accept who she is now.

Yep, this is what teens do. They try things out. Maybe this will last. Maybe it won't. It doesn't matter. Just let her know it's okay to be who she is.

Oh good god. How did this thread devolve into such homophobic nonsense.

OP, just support your daughter. In the end does it matter if she likes girls? Probably not. You know what does matter? The reason why many LGBTQ kids struggle is because they don’t get the support and acceptance they need from those closest to them. So, help her by not wasting mental energy on whether she’s going to change her mind and just accept who she is now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you that defensive that you can’t admit it’s the normal course of human biology? Have you noticed how the male and female parts line up?! (Am I trying to explain this to a tween???)

Penises also line up with other orifices, whether male or female. I knew a guy in college who had a thing for armpits.

And yet it takes egg and sperm for the human race to go on. So, inherently, male plus female. That’s biology stating what’s normal.

Oh, so people who can't have children are not normal then?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DD is still a teen! How long ago/at what age would you expect her to have come to terms with her sexuality enough to have come out to her parents???

English please?

That comment was perfectly coherent. Sorry you can’t read.

-NP

NP here and I read it several times and still don’t understand it so I was glad it wasn’t just me!

All that proves is that at least 2 DCUMers are struggling with reading comprehension today!

-another NP

I understood it.
—yet another NP

Anonymous wrote:Are you that defensive that you can’t admit it’s the normal course of human biology? Have you noticed how the male and female parts line up?! (Am I trying to explain this to a tween???)

Oh honey, do you know what the clitoris is?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DD is still a teen! How long ago/at what age would you expect her to have come to terms with her sexuality enough to have come out to her parents???

English please?

That comment was perfectly coherent. Sorry you can’t read.

-NP

NP here and I read it several times and still don’t understand it so I was glad it wasn’t just me!

All that proves is that at least 2 DCUMers are struggling with reading comprehension today!

-another NP

Anonymous wrote:My DD came out as bi last year but now identifies as lesbian and dates women. She told me she is still attracted to boys but isn't comfortable with them. She had a couple of crappy things happen with boys in the past. Having a girlfriend is like having a best friend (which she hasn't really had due to social anxiety)and being in a relationship.
Who knows if she ends up with a man or woman at the end of the day- I'm fine with either as long as she is happy.

And how is she possibly going to be happy if she is this mixed up in the head?

Holes is holes

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I think the leading theory is there is a spectrum of sexuality and only a small amount of people are 100% hetero or homosexual. Yes, it is more acceptable to come out as bi so I think those who fall closer to the middle of the spectrum may feel more comfortable coming out. They may chose to be heterosexual and live a heterosexual life in the future or not.

Just want to make sure I was clear. I think people are born say homosexual or more toward that end of the spectrum. I do think those in the bi area have more choice than those who are born totally homosexual or totally heterosexual.

The obvious benefit is that it increases the likelihood of a willing sexual partner.

Are you really that desperate that you will take literally anyone?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DD is still a teen! How long ago/at what age would you expect her to have come to terms with her sexuality enough to have come out to her parents???

English please?

That comment was perfectly coherent. Sorry you can’t read.

-NP

NP here and I read it several times and still don’t understand it so I was glad it wasn’t just me!