Anonymous
Post 12/22/2018 17:22     Subject: So I realized my husband is never going to be rich
Anonymous wrote:Grow up and realize no one owes you a lifestyle.



+1

If you want money, become “professionally driven.”
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2018 17:17     Subject: So I realized my husband is never going to be rich
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Grow up and realize no one owes you a lifestyle.



A thousand times this.

My most miserable friend is the one married to the richest husband in our crowd. Every luxury she wanted and no emotional intimacy.


It's better to have no intimacy and be rich or no intimacy and no money.


+1. For every poster who says how bad it can be to be rich, DH is a workaholic, no emotional intimacy, etc. there are plenty of people who have the same issues AND they have no money.
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2018 17:16     Subject: So I realized my husband is never going to be rich
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

Sucky part is I’m not professionally driven.


So you're not professionally-driven and now you're mad because he isn't either? Hypocrisy at its best!


I think marriages work better if only one spouse is super professionally driven. I think it’s perfectly reasonable to seek out a partner who is somewhat different from you in that trait. But, you also have to see them as a person who may grow and change over the course of a marriage, or who may realize that their goals and preferences have changed over time. And you have to be willing to be an equal partner and make a plan together for how to deal with/respond to such changes. Most people are never going to be rich. That’s like “I just realized my spouse is never going to be a movie star.” Some goals are very low percentage possibilities.

True, but it is sometimes hard in this area always being around a disproportionate number of rich people.
taketothebank
Post 12/22/2018 16:52     Subject: Re:So I realized my husband is never going to be rich
OP - have you really looked at what you contribute to the marrige?
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2018 13:54     Subject: Re:So I realized my husband is never going to be rich
For a long time we were very middle class and we were very happy. It was a lifestyle I grew up in so I was very satisfied. Eventually we became quite wealthy but I can't say I'm happier. I certainly have more creature comforts but the only thing that does make me happier is our ability to help others who are less fortunate.
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2018 13:34     Subject: So I realized my husband is never going to be rich
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I just realized my wife will never understand how hard I work


Exactly. They also don't realize how hard I worked for 5 years in grad school, and how poor I was. Making something of yourself is a sacrifice.


pp here. My wife did not know me in grad school; we met right around when I received my doctorate. It has been my effort that has led to us having a MC/UMC lifestyle. Yet she complains about the cost of my morning coffee.
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2018 12:28     Subject: Re:So I realized my husband is never going to be rich
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So I just realized my wife is never going to be good at BJs.


Why did you marry her? My wife gives amazing BJs.

Find some tutorial videos put them on a thumb drive and gives it to her as a Christmas gift.


Nah. If you're not getting good BJs, either (a) be the kind of man who deserves good BJs, or (b) outsource that function to a professional.
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2018 12:21     Subject: Re:So I realized my husband is never going to be rich
So I realized my wife is never going to be thin.
So I realized my kid is never going to go to a top college.
So I realized I’ll never be a pro athlete.

It’s called letting go of fantasyland, OP. You had a great dream of a man taking care of all your material needs. Not happening. Time to accept reality and improve your own life.
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2018 09:50     Subject: Re:So I realized my husband is never going to be rich
My husband will never be rich and not will I but we both have dinner with our kids every night. I’m good with that.
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2018 09:45     Subject: So I realized my husband is never going to be rich
Anonymous wrote:I just realized my wife will never understand how hard I work


Exactly. They also don't realize how hard I worked for 5 years in grad school, and how poor I was. Making something of yourself is a sacrifice.
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2018 08:56     Subject: So I realized my husband is never going to be rich
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Grow up and realize no one owes you a lifestyle.



A thousand times this.

My most miserable friend is the one married to the richest husband in our crowd. Every luxury she wanted and no emotional intimacy.


It's better to have no intimacy and be rich or no intimacy and no money.
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2018 08:32     Subject: So I realized my husband is never going to be rich
I just realized my wife will never understand how hard I work
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2018 08:27     Subject: Re:So I realized my husband is never going to be rich
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So I just realized my wife is never going to be good at BJs.


Why did you marry her? My wife gives amazing BJs.

Find some tutorial videos put them on a thumb drive and gives it to her as a Christmas gift.


Uh, you can put tutorial videos on a thumb drive but for f’s sake do not give them to her for Christmas! I can’t think of a more offensive Christmas gift. If you have to make it a gift, give it to her for your birthday.
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2018 08:27     Subject: So I realized my husband is never going to be rich
Anonymous wrote:Grow up and realize no one owes you a lifestyle.



A thousand times this.

My most miserable friend is the one married to the richest husband in our crowd. Every luxury she wanted and no emotional intimacy.
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2018 08:24     Subject: So I realized my husband is never going to be rich
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

Sucky part is I’m not professionally driven.


So you're not professionally-driven and now you're mad because he isn't either? Hypocrisy at its best!


I think marriages work better if only one spouse is super professionally driven. I think it’s perfectly reasonable to seek out a partner who is somewhat different from you in that trait. But, you also have to see them as a person who may grow and change over the course of a marriage, or who may realize that their goals and preferences have changed over time. And you have to be willing to be an equal partner and make a plan together for how to deal with/respond to such changes. Most people are never going to be rich. That’s like “I just realized my spouse is never going to be a movie star.” Some goals are very low percentage possibilities.