Anonymous wrote:At 15, I'd put my foot down. Based on what you describe in your second post, this is a frequent smoker and they are just too young to be doing that to their developing brain. I'd ground for at least a week and review their phone/text messages for additional issues. I'd also make it clear that it stops now and escalate from there as needed. (I say all this as a frequent weed smoker in my late teens and early 20's and an occasional user now.)

+1

I would remove all privileges and keep him busy at home.

I would also have him research the effects of weed on the developing brain and write a paper on it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. I looked throughout his room and found more evidence of weed smoking. An empty baggie and two with weed, two empty pill bottles (smell like weed), juul, rolling papers, lighter. I am freaking out because I have never used drugs. However, I don't want to be extreme in my response. I know he will likely try the "I'm holding it for a friend". How bad is this?!?

Not that bad. It's just weed. It's not like he's abusing a truly harmful substance such as pills or liquor.

This is so naive.

Don't wait until he gets arrested for it. Talk to him about it now. What would you do if you found empty liquor bottles in his room?

Put your foot down.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm glad the grown ups finally showed up on this thread. Seriously, why are so many afraid to parent their children? No, it's not okay for you to smoke weed. Period.

Parenting differently is not, not parenting.

You do you but don't be so sanctimonious.. karma is a bitch.

Have you btdt?

Yes, both as a teenager myself and a parent. The OP didn't describe some random experimentation. They described multiple baggy's and bottles in a 15 year old's room. Stop trying to be a friend and start being a grown up.

Anonymous wrote:Ask them for a bud.

This, to be honest

Ask them for a bud.

Anonymous wrote:I'm glad the grown ups finally showed up on this thread. Seriously, why are so many afraid to parent their children? No, it's not okay for you to smoke weed. Period.

Parenting differently is not, not parenting.

You do you but don't be so sanctimonious.. karma is a bitch.

Have you btdt?

I’m on team consequences. This isn’t a one time thing, it’s a habit. Start with a calm discussion about what you found, listen to what he says about it, and let him know that you will have a follow up conversation about consequences but that they will take into account that smoking is both illegal and bad for his brain.

(This is a different approach from if my teen told me that he tried it once at a party. I would still point out my concerns and ask him not to do it again, but would impose consequences if I believed that it was merely experimental rather than habit.)

The scientific research is quite clear. There are a lot of resources through NIH and SAMHSA about this. Marijuana and a developing brain (through mid to late 20s) do NOT mix. You can have lasting damage and effects.
There is no way I'm letting my tween or teen use marijuana. I would bring this into the light of day immediately - show what you found, set the ground rules in no uncertain terms.
And that's not even accounting for the legal issues. Nothing good will come of not addressing this now.

Sorry for the difficulties, OP. This is a tough situation but the answer is clear.

I do not allow weed in our house. I've never smoked weed, and I know it's not a hard drug, but it's still a drug. Similarly, I will not allow my teens to drink alcohol, juul, smoke ecigs, or any other substance.

When they are of age, and/or out of my house they can do as they please. I make sure they know the legal consequences, and consequences within our own household.

At the same time I know I cannot control every situation, so I talk safety. Safe sex, safe drinking, safe smoking, etc. I also will come pick them up if needed. I keep track of their finances, and try not to ensure they have large sums of cash.

In short I do not make it easy for them, and I will not look the other way. For OP's son, he would be talking to a counselor because you have found more than one container. I would do regular drug tests, and he would have to slowly earn privileges back.

I'd also consider that he may be self medicating for depression, ADHD, or the like. If he needs weed to "feel okay" or calm his body/brain, there is a deeper issue. Don't freak out, while ignoring the underlying issue.

Good luck. Parenting is damn tough.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used an insane amount of weed in my early teens as did my friends. I'm local and still know anton of people from.high school. I dont know an single schizophrenic. Actually, I take that back. My friends mom is schizophrenic.

Rather schizophrenic typing you got going on there.

The schizophrenic fear might be worrying about something somewhat rare but the real effect on a kid's brain is not rare or medically questioned.

I'm glad the grown ups finally showed up on this thread. Seriously, why are so many afraid to parent their children? No, it's not okay for you to smoke weed. Period.

Anonymous wrote:I used an insane amount of weed in my early teens as did my friends. I'm local and still know anton of people from.high school. I dont know an single schizophrenic. Actually, I take that back. My friends mom is schizophrenic.

Rather schizophrenic typing you got going on there.

Anonymous wrote:His life as he knows it would STOP. This is an illegal substance and I am the adult in the house. Child lives in YOUR house and drives YOUR car. Nope. I would also drug test regularly. My house my rules.

This. You must use a firm amd friendly approach (as opposed to the ballistic missle). Tell him you love him, and, that he is putting his and your future at risk and that stops today. No more time out with friends, he's grounded for a week to start. Home, school and sport/activity practice/games and job only. Find a therapist/counselor that deals with this and get him there, mandatory. Discuss with counselor home co sequences (grounding, electronics, drug testing).

Remind son daily that you love him.