Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I would take him to court for child support now, unless you are insanely wealthy and can pay for college without blinking. He can’t get more custody than your son wants at this point; courts defer to teenage kids on where they want to live. But your son deserves support.

I don’t understand this. Even if parents are married, there is no requirement that they have to pay anything towards their kids college expenses. Why are the rules different for divorced people?

I think the PP is saying that OP should take the CS money that she doesn't need for day to day expenses and set it aside for the child's college. I suppose with money being fungible you could also say she is using the CS for his portion of the day to day expenses and saving more of her money for the child's college.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I would take him to court for child support now, unless you are insanely wealthy and can pay for college without blinking. He can’t get more custody than your son wants at this point; courts defer to teenage kids on where they want to live. But your son deserves support.

I don’t understand this. Even if parents are married, there is no requirement that they have to pay anything towards their kids college expenses. Why are the rules different for divorced people?

OP, I would take him to court for child support now, unless you are insanely wealthy and can pay for college without blinking. He can’t get more custody than your son wants at this point; courts defer to teenage kids on where they want to live. But your son deserves support.

Anonymous wrote:Can't wait to see him nickel and dime you when it comes for your son to go to college. Ugh.

She’s nickel and dimimg him now? OP waived child support in exchange for custody and reimbursement for the child’s health insurance. The father made out like a bandit. Now, he’s taking advantage and nickel and dimimg her on the little he has to pay.

With this history, it’s funny that you think dad will contribute amything towards college expenses.

Can't wait to see him nickel and dime you when it comes for your son to go to college. Ugh.

I'm in Virginia. In our agreement we alternate years where we claim our son on tax returns. We had an agreement that I would claim son on tax returns for every year instead and he wouldn't have to pay insurance. This was while I was at a previous job. The cost of insurance was much lower. Once I moved to a new job several years ago and the cost was higher, I asked if we can keep the same arrangement but if he could help offset cost by like $100/month. He agreed. He decided that beginning in 2019 he wants to go with exactly what the agreement says. I said okay but that would mean he would cover insurance.

The agreement says that he stays with his dad every other weekend beginning Friday. Things changed a couple of months ago and he began staying with him every other Thursday evening - Sunday evening.

OP

BTW I've let this go. $150 it is!

Anonymous wrote:I don't think you said what state you are in so it's hard to provide a definitive answer but generally speaking the court is going to add in everyone else that is on the insurance before determining the cost of the child's portion. So, here, they will count your husband first and then the additional cost to add the child which appears to be $150. You need to read your state's child support guidelines to see if the money being pretax impacts the formula. Probably not although some states like CA have really sophisticated guideline formulas which may include that.

As others have noted, if your original agreement was made when the child was born your incomes have both probably increased enough that you could modify that agreement and seek child support. You could, perhaps, mention that to him as leverage to have him pay $250 per month.

Conversely, he has leverage to seek partial custody of their child.

If it’s purely a financial issue, it will probably net out in OP’s favor: she will get child support for a short time, but she will be giving up weekends, holidays, and time in the summer to compensate. It doesn’t sound like this is purely a financial issue though, so OP may want to just take her $150 and be done with it.

I don't think you said what state you are in so it's hard to provide a definitive answer but generally speaking the court is going to add in everyone else that is on the insurance before determining the cost of the child's portion. So, here, they will count your husband first and then the additional cost to add the child which appears to be $150. You need to read your state's child support guidelines to see if the money being pretax impacts the formula. Probably not although some states like CA have really sophisticated guideline formulas which may include that.

As others have noted, if your original agreement was made when the child was born your incomes have both probably increased enough that you could modify that agreement and seek child support. You could, perhaps, mention that to him as leverage to have him pay $250 per month.

Anonymous wrote:Thank you everyone for your replies. The cost to add my husband is not higher than it would be to just add my kid. Before marrying him I was paying the $350 a month for just my son. When I added my husband then it was an additional $150 to add him, totaling $500. I thought I was being fair to ask for just half of the total amount since its for 2 people.

I will not be taking him to court. It would end up costing me a lot more.

So what changed? I don’t understand. Was he not paying $350 before?

*btw not bye stupid phone.

Anonymous wrote:He's too difficult to deal with. I've threatened him before and he has threatened to take me to court for custody/more time with my son. Going to court will drag this out and by that time my son will be 18. I should have done this years ago and stupidly I didn't. The point I was trying to make today to him was that his calculation was wrong. When I told him the amount for 2019 he came back and said that its really $150 because its pre-tax and something about 40% tax bracket. I'm not at 40% and I was trying to figure out how one would come up with the true cost of the health insurance premium.

You know some states go to 22 and /or have ordered college right.
Bye this is your child’s right.

Thank you everyone for your replies. The cost to add my husband is not higher than it would be to just add my kid. Before marrying him I was paying the $350 a month for just my son. When I added my husband then it was an additional $150 to add him, totaling $500. I thought I was being fair to ask for just half of the total amount since its for 2 people.

I will not be taking him to court. It would end up costing me a lot more.

I get where you are coming from-I also waived child support and my ex makes a lot more than I do. That said, I don't think it makes sense to ask him to subsidize your new partner's insurance because he is generally a cheap jerk. Take the $150, which is the real cost of adding your child to your plan. If you need child support, you can likely go back to court and get it (and for much more than the $100 extra for the insurance). At least in my state, our child support order will remain open until the child is 18.

OP--do not go to court. Your ex is a douche BTW. Can you move your kid to his insurance and just ask him to reimburse you for co-pays (if any) every month? I think it would be easier this way and you will not be out-of pocket for it every month. I have a divorced friend and this is what she does. It works out pretty well for her without any bickering over $$$ with her ex.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So take him to court. He will likely pay whatever it is and choose not to go.
Use the tools your have, OP. You don't need advice on this, you need the court.

She's not gonna go to court over $100/month. Stupid, not worth it.

Right. So OP really just needs to take what her ex is willing to give then. Either accept Ex's terms, or go to court to change them. Since OP is so against going to court, she should be grateful he is willingly paying anything.