Anonymous
12/11/2018 08:51
Subject: Re:Dating a divorced person still living with spouse
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anyone married should be off limits period. If they are going through the divorce or separated you simply say, "Ok great, give me a call when you're single and divorced".
That’s pretty harsh.
Why? I’ve not met one person who is separated/going through divorce who doesn’t have a ton of emotional baggage and/or ex drama. I’m sure there’s the rare 100% amicable divorce with no issues, but I don’t think it’s common.
That’s the EXACT time you need a boyfriend or girlfriend.
PSA:
No, you do not need a BF/GF. BF/GF implies that you are ready for some level of commitent. It means you are ready to put another person’s needs before your own to some extent.
When you are divorcing, you need a FWB - someone you can hang out with and do some activities with and sleep with, NSA. You can negotiate a FWB that is mongamous for sex, but free to date and end the FWB at any time. OR you need to date around a lot and sleep with other people.
The last thing you need is to jump into another relationship when you haven’t yet ended the one you’re in and definitely haven’t figured out and taken responsibility for its dissolution.
Maybe, possibly, not all people or relationships are the same. But good for you for having all the answers.
Anonymous
12/11/2018 08:38
Subject: Re:Dating a divorced person still living with spouse
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anyone married should be off limits period. If they are going through the divorce or separated you simply say, "Ok great, give me a call when you're single and divorced".
That’s pretty harsh.
Why? I’ve not met one person who is separated/going through divorce who doesn’t have a ton of emotional baggage and/or ex drama. I’m sure there’s the rare 100% amicable divorce with no issues, but I don’t think it’s common.
That’s the EXACT time you need a boyfriend or girlfriend.
PSA:
No, you do not need a BF/GF. BF/GF implies that you are ready for some level of commitent. It means you are ready to put another person’s needs before your own to some extent.
When you are divorcing, you need a FWB - someone you can hang out with and do some activities with and sleep with, NSA. You can negotiate a FWB that is mongamous for sex, but free to date and end the FWB at any time. OR you need to date around a lot and sleep with other people.
The last thing you need is to jump into another relationship when you haven’t yet ended the one you’re in and definitely haven’t figured out and taken responsibility for its dissolution.
Anonymous
12/11/2018 08:17
Subject: Re:Dating a divorced person still living with spouse
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anyone married should be off limits period. If they are going through the divorce or separated you simply say, "Ok great, give me a call when you're single and divorced".
That’s pretty harsh.
Why? I’ve not met one person who is separated/going through divorce who doesn’t have a ton of emotional baggage and/or ex drama. I’m sure there’s the rare 100% amicable divorce with no issues, but I don’t think it’s common.
+1. This is so true. It takes years to get through it, I wish most would just seek a fwb and be done with it.
Are you divorced ?
Why?
New poster, but often by the time you decide to divorce you are SOOO over the stbx. Maybe not all cases. But certainly in mine and those I’ve dated who were separated.
Of course you think YOU think you are
You are just not ready for a real relationship.
What’s a REAL relationship anyway? Manycouples are unhappy whether married or not. Is that REAL? When you have a new partner when exiting marriage seems real enough.
Anonymous
12/11/2018 08:15
Subject: Re:Dating a divorced person still living with spouse
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anyone married should be off limits period. If they are going through the divorce or separated you simply say, "Ok great, give me a call when you're single and divorced".
That’s pretty harsh.
Why? I’ve not met one person who is separated/going through divorce who doesn’t have a ton of emotional baggage and/or ex drama. I’m sure there’s the rare 100% amicable divorce with no issues, but I don’t think it’s common.
That’s the EXACT time you need a boyfriend or girlfriend.
Anonymous
12/11/2018 08:01
Subject: Dating a divorced person still living with spouse
I know at least 5 people in this situation, including myself for about a year. There is nothing more red flag about this than just having a recent divorce or separation in general. My boyfriend has been in this situation for 3 years now, to his chagrin. One of my best friends has done it for 5, and he will for another 5. In no way does he want to be with his ex. But this really is best for the kids. I’m not saying that it is easy for anyone involved, but it does not always mean a weird attachment with the ex.
Anonymous
11/30/2018 20:25
Subject: Dating a divorced person still living with spouse
Oh hell no
Anonymous
11/30/2018 20:23
Subject: Re:Dating a divorced person still living with spouse
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anyone married should be off limits period. If they are going through the divorce or separated you simply say, "Ok great, give me a call when you're single and divorced".
That’s pretty harsh.
Why? I’ve not met one person who is separated/going through divorce who doesn’t have a ton of emotional baggage and/or ex drama. I’m sure there’s the rare 100% amicable divorce with no issues, but I don’t think it’s common.
+1. This is so true. It takes years to get through it, I wish most would just seek a fwb and be done with it.
Are you divorced ?
Why?
New poster, but often by the time you decide to divorce you are SOOO over the stbx. Maybe not all cases. But certainly in mine and those I’ve dated who were separated.
Of course you think YOU think you are
You are just not ready for a real relationship.
Anonymous
11/30/2018 20:20
Subject: Re:Dating a divorced person still living with spouse
I am divorced with kids and that sounds like an odd situation - I would run, not walk
Anonymous
11/30/2018 20:13
Subject: Re:Dating a divorced person still living with spouse
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anyone married should be off limits period. If they are going through the divorce or separated you simply say, "Ok great, give me a call when you're single and divorced".
That’s pretty harsh.
Why? I’ve not met one person who is separated/going through divorce who doesn’t have a ton of emotional baggage and/or ex drama. I’m sure there’s the rare 100% amicable divorce with no issues, but I don’t think it’s common.
+1. This is so true. It takes years to get through it, I wish most would just seek a fwb and be done with it.
Are you divorced ?
Why?
New poster, but often by the time you decide to divorce you are SOOO over the stbx. Maybe not all cases. But certainly in mine and those I’ve dated who were separated.
Anonymous
11/30/2018 20:07
Subject: Re:Dating a divorced person still living with spouse
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anyone married should be off limits period. If they are going through the divorce or separated you simply say, "Ok great, give me a call when you're single and divorced".
That’s pretty harsh.
Why? I’ve not met one person who is separated/going through divorce who doesn’t have a ton of emotional baggage and/or ex drama. I’m sure there’s the rare 100% amicable divorce with no issues, but I don’t think it’s common.
+1. This is so true. It takes years to get through it, I wish most would just seek a fwb and be done with it.
Are you divorced ?
Why?
Anonymous
11/30/2018 19:25
Subject: Re:Dating a divorced person still living with spouse
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anyone married should be off limits period. If they are going through the divorce or separated you simply say, "Ok great, give me a call when you're single and divorced".
That’s pretty harsh.
Why? I’ve not met one person who is separated/going through divorce who doesn’t have a ton of emotional baggage and/or ex drama. I’m sure there’s the rare 100% amicable divorce with no issues, but I don’t think it’s common.
+1. This is so true. It takes years to get through it, I wish most would just seek a fwb and be done with it.
Are you divorced ?
Anonymous
11/30/2018 19:22
Subject: Re:Dating a divorced person still living with spouse
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anyone married should be off limits period. If they are going through the divorce or separated you simply say, "Ok great, give me a call when you're single and divorced".
That’s pretty harsh.
Why? I’ve not met one person who is separated/going through divorce who doesn’t have a ton of emotional baggage and/or ex drama. I’m sure there’s the rare 100% amicable divorce with no issues, but I don’t think it’s common.
+1. This is so true. It takes years to get through it, I wish most would just seek a fwb and be done with it.
The worst are men who swear they’re ready to date and get serious and then talk about their “crazy” ex all.the.time. Like come on, you are NOT ready for a relationship.
Sure. I’ve been on dates with many women who were 5+ years post divorce and they’d go on about the crazy ex. In some cases it did seem that the ex was vindictive and bat shit crazy. Not ready for a relationship?
Anonymous
11/30/2018 19:12
Subject: Re:Dating a divorced person still living with spouse
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anyone married should be off limits period. If they are going through the divorce or separated you simply say, "Ok great, give me a call when you're single and divorced".
That’s pretty harsh.
Why? I’ve not met one person who is separated/going through divorce who doesn’t have a ton of emotional baggage and/or ex drama. I’m sure there’s the rare 100% amicable divorce with no issues, but I don’t think it’s common.
What is your sample size ? Just because you have preconceived notions doesn’t make it a ‘truth’
Anonymous
11/30/2018 18:41
Subject: Re:Dating a divorced person still living with spouse
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anyone married should be off limits period. If they are going through the divorce or separated you simply say, "Ok great, give me a call when you're single and divorced".
That’s pretty harsh.
Why? I’ve not met one person who is separated/going through divorce who doesn’t have a ton of emotional baggage and/or ex drama. I’m sure there’s the rare 100% amicable divorce with no issues, but I don’t think it’s common.
+1. This is so true. It takes years to get through it, I wish most would just seek a fwb and be done with it.
The worst are men who swear they’re ready to date and get serious and then talk about their “crazy” ex all.the.time. Like come on, you are NOT ready for a relationship.
Anonymous
11/30/2018 18:39
Subject: Re:Dating a divorced person still living with spouse
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anyone married should be off limits period. If they are going through the divorce or separated you simply say, "Ok great, give me a call when you're single and divorced".
That’s pretty harsh.
Why? I’ve not met one person who is separated/going through divorce who doesn’t have a ton of emotional baggage and/or ex drama. I’m sure there’s the rare 100% amicable divorce with no issues, but I don’t think it’s common.
+1. This is so true. It takes years to get through it, I wish most would just seek a fwb and be done with it.