Anonymous wrote:Np here. Old thread I know
Ugggh this has hit me for the past 4 weeks. Only two more weeks of being in contact with this guy. But it has hit me like lightning. I’m actually happier than ever otherwise.... so maybe it’s just ‘sparks.’ Trying to bottle it in and just last the two more weeks.
Anonymous wrote:OP, I’m concerned that your 2nd paragraph sort of contradicts your first. You say you want help getting past this, then ask if anyone has ever turned limerence into a real relationship. I’d recommend counseling if it’s disrupting your life and your perceptions.
Anonymous wrote:Sounds like people romanticizing mental illness. Glorifying this is wrong.
Anonymous wrote:It's spelled "limerence." And the phenomenon Dorothy Tennov and others are describing is not infatuation. It is intrusive, painful, disruptive, and can last for years. No one who has experienced it would wish it on their worst enemy.
The best way to get over a garden-variety infatuation is to just get with someone else.
Limerence can happen when there are obstacles preventing you from connecting with someone else and so the uncertainty and frustration of the situation is not resolved.
Anonymous wrote:That is infatuation. It will pass in a few weeks of no-contact.
If it is 5 years later and you're obsessing about some person you do not see, including obsessing for 80% of your waking hours, you have limerence. And probably need medium-term Lexapro. And a concerted effort to focus on your talents and "purpose in life."
Anonymous wrote:What’s the non-romantic version of it called? Is there a name?