Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like I have encountered men with whom I have some kind of baseline chemistry and who I feel perhaps feel the same but is immediately squelched in some way. I think most people who get hit on are open to being hit on which is what attracts people to them.

Yep...and they know it. But there's nothing wrong with looking your best when you go out. Some people just have that welcoming look to them (not in a creepy way) but they just look like someone you'd like to get to know better (in a platonic way, of course).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I recently attended the 50th birthday party of a college friend of my husband's, and someone I have known since my graduate school days. The party was held in another, where our friend lives, and was akin to a wedding, held in a hotel, with a hundred guests, an open bar, dinner, and a live band. It was really lovely. In any case, my husband, who deeply hurt me with a recent infidelity after decades of marriage, was distant and disengaged, talking and dancing with anyone but me. So I spent most of the evening with the birthday friend's family and older friends from high school, college, and graduate school, many of whom I have met and gotten to know well over the years. We ate, talked, danced in groups, and generally had a great time. I am now no spring chicken, and I have never been the most beautiful woman in the room, but I am fit (BMI 18.9), and that night I wore a good, fitted dress, and had done my hair and makeup. At the bar after the birthday party, one of the host's oldest high school friends, someone with whom I had talked but not exclusively so, asked me if I would join him for a late night walk (1:00 a.m.) around the city. He is married, and my husband was also at the bar. I kindly explained to him that I could not do that because my own husband had broken my heart with an affair, and I could never hurt another woman that way, then I burst into tears, and turned to a female acquaintance and spent the rest of the evening talking to her. The man left the bar a few minutes later, probably embarrassed for or by me. I felt bad that I may have hurt his feelings, and the next time something like this happens with another man (if ever) I will have a more appropriate response ready.

Sounds like a boozy wild night.

Anonymous wrote:Guy here. Been married for almost 15 years. Am fit, good looking, good job, etc. and I don't recall ever being hit on (I'm 42). Maybe some flirting but that's about it.

Anonymous wrote:I recently attended the 50th birthday party of a college friend of my husband's, and someone I have known since my graduate school days. The party was held in another, where our friend lives, and was akin to a wedding, held in a hotel, with a hundred guests, an open bar, dinner, and a live band. It was really lovely. In any case, my husband, who deeply hurt me with a recent infidelity after decades of marriage, was distant and disengaged, talking and dancing with anyone but me. So I spent most of the evening with the birthday friend's family and older friends from high school, college, and graduate school, many of whom I have met and gotten to know well over the years. We ate, talked, danced in groups, and generally had a great time. I am now no spring chicken, and I have never been the most beautiful woman in the room, but I am fit (BMI 18.9), and that night I wore a good, fitted dress, and had done my hair and makeup. At the bar after the birthday party, one of the host's oldest high school friends, someone with whom I had talked but not exclusively so, asked me if I would join him for a late night walk (1:00 a.m.) around the city. He is married, and my husband was also at the bar. I kindly explained to him that I could not do that because my own husband had broken my heart with an affair, and I could never hurt another woman that way, then I burst into tears, and turned to a female acquaintance and spent the rest of the evening talking to her. The man left the bar a few minutes later, probably embarrassed for or by me. I felt bad that I may have hurt his feelings, and the next time something like this happens with another man (if ever) I will have a more appropriate response ready.

Anonymous wrote:I feel like I have encountered men with whom I have some kind of baseline chemistry and who I feel perhaps feel the same but is immediately squelched in some way. I think most people who get hit on are open to being hit on which is what attracts people to them.