Anonymous wrote:My 9 year old DD's class has jut started their annual swimming unit in PE. The whole PE period is about 40 minutes. My DD has long, thick hair and it is quite uncomfortable for her to change into her swim suit, swim in the water (which is really quite cold) and get dried off (especially her hair) within this time period. She always says she doesn't have time to get dried off properly and is uncomfortable for the rest of the day. We swim a lot, including doing laps and practicing strokes, outside of school so I really don't see much of a benefit to her participating in the swimming at school. I let the school know, and both the classroom and PE teacher seemed less than pleased. Her PE grade will be lowered, which I don't care a lot about, but am just wondering if I am being unreasonable.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You are emphasizing that swimming is "unnecessary" to you but you also need to consider the messages that you are sending to your daughter. That she, unlike all the other girls with long hair, gets to opt out and not participate in a school activity. That PE isn't important. That it's ok to lose class credit/points if you just don't feel like participating for some personal reason. Is that really what you want your daughter to think when the flip side is that she has to deal with a swim cap or spend a portion of her day with wet hair?

Also that girls get to get out of physical activities for beauty reasons.

It is not a beauty reason. It is a comfort and health issue, and frankly it is a little sexist that the time allowed for children to dry off and change (10 minutes) is adequate for people with very short hair (typically boys) but not people with longer hair (which includes some girls).

This answer actually perpetuates the stereotype that girls and women simply must take longer to get ready. It's the butt of many a dumb sitcom joke. If you can't see that you're sending DD a message that she deserves extra time or special accommodation because of an aspect of her appearance--you really don't get it.

I say that as parent of a teen girl who is actually required to keep her heavy hair fairly long because she does classical ballet and has to wear a bun. (A short cut is not an option in some dance companies.) But she and her dancer friends would never expect anyone to give them extra time to get ready because they have to wrestle with their hair. Even wet, cold hair.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You are emphasizing that swimming is "unnecessary" to you but you also need to consider the messages that you are sending to your daughter. That she, unlike all the other girls with long hair, gets to opt out and not participate in a school activity. That PE isn't important. That it's ok to lose class credit/points if you just don't feel like participating for some personal reason. Is that really what you want your daughter to think when the flip side is that she has to deal with a swim cap or spend a portion of her day with wet hair?

Also that girls get to get out of physical activities for beauty reasons.

It is really not a beauty reason, it is a practical concern. If the swim period were long enough to allow her to get dried off fully we would have no issue. I just don't see the point of swimming 20 minutes or so and then being uncomfortable the rest of the day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You are emphasizing that swimming is "unnecessary" to you but you also need to consider the messages that you are sending to your daughter. That she, unlike all the other girls with long hair, gets to opt out and not participate in a school activity. That PE isn't important. That it's ok to lose class credit/points if you just don't feel like participating for some personal reason. Is that really what you want your daughter to think when the flip side is that she has to deal with a swim cap or spend a portion of her day with wet hair?

Also that girls get to get out of physical activities for beauty reasons.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You are emphasizing that swimming is "unnecessary" to you but you also need to consider the messages that you are sending to your daughter. That she, unlike all the other girls with long hair, gets to opt out and not participate in a school activity. That PE isn't important. That it's ok to lose class credit/points if you just don't feel like participating for some personal reason. Is that really what you want your daughter to think when the flip side is that she has to deal with a swim cap or spend a portion of her day with wet hair?

Also that girls get to get out of physical activities for beauty reasons.

It is not a beauty reason. It is a comfort and health issue, and frankly it is a little sexist that the time allowed for children to dry off and change (10 minutes) is adequate for people with very short hair (typically boys) but not people with longer hair (which includes some girls).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are being absurd and ridiculous.
And I don’t believe that you take her swimming a lot if you are ‘opting her out’ at school. You take her swimming all the time but she doesn’t have a swim cap?? Really?

Why does she have hair so long that she can’t get it into a swim cap for gym class? What is wrong with you?? Sounds like you don’t think much of basically handicapping your daughter.

We live near a pool and swim all the time, but she has plenty of time to let her hair dry after. I don't want to handicap my daughter due to letting her have long hair, that is exactly why I feel a little conflicted and asked this question on DCUM. But, should she have to cut her hair short so she can get it reasonably dry in the 10 minute changing time they have for PE swim for six weeks?

What would happen if she went to class with wet hair?

She'd be uncomfortable, which would be terrible, and so she should be allowed to vary the curriculum. Because no 9 yo should be mildly uncomfortable.

FFS, OP, can't you see how ridiculous this is?

Think of it another way- she should comply with some unnecessary PE requirement and be wet and cold for two afternoons of school a week, thus be unable to concentrate on more important English, math, etc lessons because... why? When she already has better swimming skills than most other kids in the class?

Anonymous wrote:My 6 year old (was 5 for last swim team season) can put the cap on by herself. She prefers a high bun so the cap has room to get tight under it. Practice at home a few times & she’ll figure it out quicker. At our current school, the kindergarteners have swim class weekly. It’s suggested they wear their suit to school under their clothing so just have to change out of the at the end. This would give your daughter more time to work in the cap.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You are emphasizing that swimming is "unnecessary" to you but you also need to consider the messages that you are sending to your daughter. That she, unlike all the other girls with long hair, gets to opt out and not participate in a school activity. That PE isn't important. That it's ok to lose class credit/points if you just don't feel like participating for some personal reason. Is that really what you want your daughter to think when the flip side is that she has to deal with a swim cap or spend a portion of her day with wet hair?

Also that girls get to get out of physical activities for beauty reasons.

It is not a beauty reason. It is a comfort and health issue, and frankly it is a little sexist that the time allowed for children to dry off and change (10 minutes) is adequate for people with very short hair (typically boys) but not people with longer hair (which includes some girls).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You are emphasizing that swimming is "unnecessary" to you but you also need to consider the messages that you are sending to your daughter. That she, unlike all the other girls with long hair, gets to opt out and not participate in a school activity. That PE isn't important. That it's ok to lose class credit/points if you just don't feel like participating for some personal reason. Is that really what you want your daughter to think when the flip side is that she has to deal with a swim cap or spend a portion of her day with wet hair?

Also that girls get to get out of physical activities for beauty reasons.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On swim days put her hair in French braids or a crown braid to make it easier to wear a swim cap or dry afterward. She could even wear the turbie twist to her next class for a while if necessary. Or she could have a hand towel she puts around her neck tin catch the water from her hair.

New poster. She might not be allowed to wear the turbie twist into the next class if the school is strict about uniform policies (and this is overseas, so I'm betting there's a uniform involved--we have relatives overseas and some schools can be quite strict about uniform code). I'd say combine a couple of suggestions already made here, OP:

Get a couple of different swim cap styles/materials to try. You might have to order them online pronto. It's easy enough to get swim caps in Britain at least; I'm not sure where you're located.

Then also have her hair in a French braid or other close-to-the-scalp style on swim days so she does not have to gather up her hair and try to shove it under the cap herself, which willl probably not work well. I would not use a bun unless it's a very flat bun; most buns are going to push the cap up enough that her hair will get wet anyway.

OP, she cannot be the only girl for whom long, thick hair is an issue when it comes to this swimming unit in PE, so ask around. Ask other parents, especially those who have had older kids at this school. And I wouldn't hesitate to ask the PE teacher for a recommendation about swim caps/drying hair/etc. -- the teacher may know exactly where to get them in your area, or where to get them online in your country. Most issues like this are ones that teachers have seen before, so use that knowledge!

If you can't find a swim cap in time or it just doesn't work, have her go in French braids or other tight up-style anyway and swim in that. It will be easier than dealing with her long hair wet. She will be chilly but the water shouldn't stream off her head as much as if she swims with it down or in a loose style.

I would not try to opt her out of swimming using the argument she already swims outside school. That doesn't really wash (lots of kids have to do in school activities they also do outside school), and I also would think she'd feel odd sitting out of PE when everyone else is participating. No need to make her stand out like that. She'll want to share the experience with her friends -- even when the experience is being a bit damp and chilly during the next class sometimes!

OP here, thanks for these thoughts. We are at an American school in an Asian county without strict uniform policies. She doesn't feel odd or like she stands out by sitting out of swimming during PE, it was her request.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are being absurd and ridiculous.
And I don’t believe that you take her swimming a lot if you are ‘opting her out’ at school. You take her swimming all the time but she doesn’t have a swim cap?? Really?

Why does she have hair so long that she can’t get it into a swim cap for gym class? What is wrong with you?? Sounds like you don’t think much of basically handicapping your daughter.

We live near a pool and swim all the time, but she has plenty of time to let her hair dry after. I don't want to handicap my daughter due to letting her have long hair, that is exactly why I feel a little conflicted and asked this question on DCUM. But, should she have to cut her hair short so she can get it reasonably dry in the 10 minute changing time they have for PE swim for six weeks?

What would happen if she went to class with wet hair?

She'd be uncomfortable, which would be terrible, and so she should be allowed to vary the curriculum. Because no 9 yo should be mildly uncomfortable.

FFS, OP, can't you see how ridiculous this is?

Think of it another way- she should comply with some unnecessary PE requirement and be wet and cold for two afternoons of school a week, thus be unable to concentrate on more important English, math, etc lessons because... why? When she already has better swimming skills than most other kids in the class?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are being absurd and ridiculous.
And I don’t believe that you take her swimming a lot if you are ‘opting her out’ at school. You take her swimming all the time but she doesn’t have a swim cap?? Really?

Why does she have hair so long that she can’t get it into a swim cap for gym class? What is wrong with you?? Sounds like you don’t think much of basically handicapping your daughter.

We live near a pool and swim all the time, but she has plenty of time to let her hair dry after. I don't want to handicap my daughter due to letting her have long hair, that is exactly why I feel a little conflicted and asked this question on DCUM. But, should she have to cut her hair short so she can get it reasonably dry in the 10 minute changing time they have for PE swim for six weeks?

What would happen if she went to class with wet hair?

She'd be uncomfortable, which would be terrible, and so she should be allowed to vary the curriculum. Because no 9 yo should be mildly uncomfortable.

FFS, OP, can't you see how ridiculous this is?

Anonymous wrote:

You are emphasizing that swimming is "unnecessary" to you but you also need to consider the messages that you are sending to your daughter. That she, unlike all the other girls with long hair, gets to opt out and not participate in a school activity. That PE isn't important. That it's ok to lose class credit/points if you just don't feel like participating for some personal reason. Is that really what you want your daughter to think when the flip side is that she has to deal with a swim cap or spend a portion of her day with wet hair?