Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another twin mom here saying don't do it. One at a time is better for all kinds of reasons.

I gave birth to my twins just days before I turned 45. I had a pretty straightforward pregnancy, scheduled c-section at 37 weeks, two healthy 6 lb babies who went home w/ me, easy recovery from c-section, etc... Basically the dream scenario. I was very lucky and perhaps you would be also.

But I still STRONGLY wish I'd had one at a time, and tell anyone who asks that I don't recommend twins. I wish my kids had my undivided attention at infancy, or at any individual developmental stage. I wish I only had one baby to breast feed at a time - perhaps it would have been easier and I would have done it longer. I wish they didn't compare themselves to each other so relentlessly and unforgivingly ALL THE TIME. I wish they didn't have hurt feelings over who had more friends show up for their b'day party. Etc..,.

There are wondeful and fun things about having (or being) a twin, for sure. But the kids really do pay a price that I wish I could spare them. Maybe I'll feel differently when they're adults but so far (still in elementary school) I have consistently felt that they would have been better served by being one at a time in each developmental stage.

my older kids are 2.5. years apart and they do this all the time. sibling rivalry is a thing. there is also personality... neither of those has anything to do with twins.

Anonymous wrote:Another twin mom here saying don't do it. One at a time is better for all kinds of reasons.

I gave birth to my twins just days before I turned 45. I had a pretty straightforward pregnancy, scheduled c-section at 37 weeks, two healthy 6 lb babies who went home w/ me, easy recovery from c-section, etc... Basically the dream scenario. I was very lucky and perhaps you would be also.

But I still STRONGLY wish I'd had one at a time, and tell anyone who asks that I don't recommend twins. I wish my kids had my undivided attention at infancy, or at any individual developmental stage. I wish I only had one baby to breast feed at a time - perhaps it would have been easier and I would have done it longer. I wish they didn't compare themselves to each other so relentlessly and unforgivingly ALL THE TIME. I wish they didn't have hurt feelings over who had more friends show up for their b'day party. Etc..,.

There are wondeful and fun things about having (or being) a twin, for sure. But the kids really do pay a price that I wish I could spare them. Maybe I'll feel differently when they're adults but so far (still in elementary school) I have consistently felt that they would have been better served by being one at a time in each developmental stage.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because twin pregnancy is risky. Because caring for twin infants is grueling. Because parenting twins is hard. Really hard. We have twins, including one with relatively minor special needs and it is rough and they’re in upper elementary school. We got through it because you do what you must, but I really think that unless you’ve already had an infant you can’t really fathom how unrelenting twins can be.

I already have an almost-one-year old. I am concerned that it will be even more grueling caring for 3 at 45.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Twin mom here - stop it. You don't want twins.

May I ask why? If I am lucky enough to get pregnant now, 9 months later, wait a year, and get pregnant at THAT point again, I will be 45 when the second one is born. I would rather avoid that. I think 43 is old enough. And yes I would like two.

The recurrent theme of your posts is it’s all about you and your plans, not about what is best for any future potential children. A lot of us would like a bigger family than what we have, that doesn’t mean it is in anyone’s best interests to pursue it.

Anonymous wrote:Most drs will be fine putting in two. Unless there is some very obvious reason not too. My dr said he wouldn't do three or more but on the day of transfer offered to put the third one in because he said he it didn't look good anyhow and the best place for it is in me, not the lab. I declined and the third one stopped growing the next day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because twin pregnancy is risky. Because caring for twin infants is grueling. Because parenting twins is hard. Really hard. We have twins, including one with relatively minor special needs and it is rough and they’re in upper elementary school. We got through it because you do what you must, but I really think that unless you’ve already had an infant you can’t really fathom how unrelenting twins can be.

I already have an almost-one-year old. I am concerned that it will be even more grueling caring for 3 at 45.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Huh...I am a twin mom and surprised that there seems to be such a strongly negative consensus about the experience.

My pregnancy was fine. The babies arrived four weeks early, but were healthy and spent no time in the NICU.

They are about 1.5 years old now, and are absolute angels. It hasn't been that hard to take care of them. And I already had two older kids.

All that said, we've been particularly lucky in some ways that have helped out a lot:
1. We have a nanny (our older kids are in school, so the nanny watches just the twins)
2. The twins have been sleeping through the night since three months
3. The twins are very easygoing
4. The twins are both healthy, aside from the occasional cold

I'm not writing this to suggest that having twins is a breeze. It's certainly more work and can come with more complications than a singleton. But I do want to point out that it's certainly possible to have a wonderful experience.

FWIW...When I first found out that I was pregnant with twins, I was so scared and sad. Now that they are here, it's amazing.

Please don't conflate your individual experience with statistical facts.

-Close to 60 percent of all twins and more than 90 percent of triplets are born prematurely (before 37 weeks). The average twin pregnancy lasts 35 weeks. Triplet pregnancies average 33 weeks, and quad pregnancies average 29 weeks.
-Preeclampsia develops in roughly 10 to 15 percent of women carrying twins, two to three times the rate of women carrying one baby.
-Gestational diabetes is more common in women carrying more than one baby.
-Placental abruption is three times more likely to occur in a multiples pregnancy.
-Multiple birth babies have about twice the risk for problems present at birth (congenital) such as spina bifida and other neural tube defects, and problems of the digestive tract and heart.

Thank you. I could not have written a better response. Sure, there are great twin outcomes. I actually had one, but statistically, I was lucky. To pursue multiples purposefully for one’s convenience is reckless at best.

It should also be noted that the stats PP gives will actually be higher for AMA moms -which OP would be.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Huh...I am a twin mom and surprised that there seems to be such a strongly negative consensus about the experience.

My pregnancy was fine. The babies arrived four weeks early, but were healthy and spent no time in the NICU.

They are about 1.5 years old now, and are absolute angels. It hasn't been that hard to take care of them. And I already had two older kids.

All that said, we've been particularly lucky in some ways that have helped out a lot:
1. We have a nanny (our older kids are in school, so the nanny watches just the twins)
2. The twins have been sleeping through the night since three months
3. The twins are very easygoing
4. The twins are both healthy, aside from the occasional cold

I'm not writing this to suggest that having twins is a breeze. It's certainly more work and can come with more complications than a singleton. But I do want to point out that it's certainly possible to have a wonderful experience.

FWIW...When I first found out that I was pregnant with twins, I was so scared and sad. Now that they are here, it's amazing.

Please don't conflate your individual experience with statistical facts.

-Close to 60 percent of all twins and more than 90 percent of triplets are born prematurely (before 37 weeks). The average twin pregnancy lasts 35 weeks. Triplet pregnancies average 33 weeks, and quad pregnancies average 29 weeks.
-Preeclampsia develops in roughly 10 to 15 percent of women carrying twins, two to three times the rate of women carrying one baby.
-Gestational diabetes is more common in women carrying more than one baby.
-Placental abruption is three times more likely to occur in a multiples pregnancy.
-Multiple birth babies have about twice the risk for problems present at birth (congenital) such as spina bifida and other neural tube defects, and problems of the digestive tract and heart.

Anonymous wrote:Huh...I am a twin mom and surprised that there seems to be such a strongly negative consensus about the experience.

My pregnancy was fine. The babies arrived four weeks early, but were healthy and spent no time in the NICU.

They are about 1.5 years old now, and are absolute angels. It hasn't been that hard to take care of them. And I already had two older kids.

All that said, we've been particularly lucky in some ways that have helped out a lot:
1. We have a nanny (our older kids are in school, so the nanny watches just the twins)
2. The twins have been sleeping through the night since three months
3. The twins are very easygoing
4. The twins are both healthy, aside from the occasional cold

I'm not writing this to suggest that having twins is a breeze. It's certainly more work and can come with more complications than a singleton. But I do want to point out that it's certainly possible to have a wonderful experience.

FWIW...When I first found out that I was pregnant with twins, I was so scared and sad. Now that they are here, it's amazing.