DH and I both paid off our own loans before we got married. We lived super frugally and although we didn't have much when we married (umm, nothing...), at least we didn't bring debt into the picture.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. My DH continued to pay my loans for me once I became a SAHM. He is a keeper, for many reasons.

What else would you expect him to do??? Default on your loans??

Who quits working when they have educational debt? Unreal.

When there is a child who needs to be cared for, someone needs to do that work. Whether a parent does that work or a paid caretaker does that work, it is still work. The person above did not quit working, she began doing a different kind of work.

The she didn't need a grad degree someone else could have used.

If she got her MD, sure, what a waste. Otherwise who cares.

Meh. By this logic, anyone who has an MD and takes any time to do anything else is a “waste.” You do not lose the freedom to write a novel, train for an Ironman triathlon, completely change careers, or care for your young children when you get a degree.

Yup. I knew a doctor who was pissed at Michael Crichton for wasting that slot in med school that could have gone to a real doctor.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of loser borrows money for grad school?

What's the alternative? Especially when work won't pay?

TA, RA, Fellowship, and/or a job. I did all three plus taught on the side to get through grad school. No debt. If the school won't pay to have you there, you should not go there.

+1

Both my spouse and I funded grad school with a combo of savings/part-time jobs/TA/grants and scholarships. There was no debt to pay off when we were finished, including for living expenses. I can't get on board with the idea that significant debt is the normal way to get an education if "work won't pay." Your workplace doesn't owe you a degree.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. My DH continued to pay my loans for me once I became a SAHM. He is a keeper, for many reasons.

What else would you expect him to do??? Default on your loans??

Who quits working when they have educational debt? Unreal.

When there is a child who needs to be cared for, someone needs to do that work. Whether a parent does that work or a paid caretaker does that work, it is still work. The person above did not quit working, she began doing a different kind of work.

The she didn't need a grad degree someone else could have used.

You're right. She really should have gone back in time and declined her acceptance.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of loser borrows money for grad school?

What's the alternative? Especially when work won't pay?

TA, RA, Fellowship, and/or a job. I did all three plus taught on the side to get through grad school. No debt. If the school won't pay to have you there, you should not go there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of loser borrows money for grad school?

Just about every lawyer and doctor out there.

That isn't grad school, that's professional school.

Yes, I went to grad school after we had purchased our first home and I had an established career network I was advancing in. Then he decided he desperately wanted a change of career and we moved with small children to a new city where it has been very difficult for me to work in my field. He knows it, and so, while it wasn’t the plan initially, I’m primarily a SAHM.

I came into the marriage with something like $65k left on my grad school loans. (Law school, down from $160k.)

My husband and I don't put all our $ into one pot, but we do put some of our money into one pot - and also, he earns more and also covers far more of our expenses. So I pay my grad loans out of my own pot, but there's no way in the world I could afford the life we have if I were covering half of our other bills. So my husband is subsidizing my life enough that I can pay my loans, but he doesn't pay my loans directly. (I think I am getting the better deal here than he is, and luckily he loves me a lot.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. My DH continued to pay my loans for me once I became a SAHM. He is a keeper, for many reasons.

What else would you expect him to do??? Default on your loans??

Who quits working when they have educational debt? Unreal.

When there is a child who needs to be cared for, someone needs to do that work. Whether a parent does that work or a paid caretaker does that work, it is still work. The person above did not quit working, she began doing a different kind of work.

The she didn't need a grad degree someone else could have used.

If she got her MD, sure, what a waste. Otherwise who cares.

Meh. By this logic, anyone who has an MD and takes any time to do anything else is a “waste.” You do not lose the freedom to write a novel, train for an Ironman triathlon, completely change careers, or care for your young children when you get a degree.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. My DH continued to pay my loans for me once I became a SAHM. He is a keeper, for many reasons.

What else would you expect him to do??? Default on your loans??

That is actually the smart play

She doesn't have an income to garnish and if they are already in house they don't need her credit/income to qualify.

Not saying that is what I would do, but it is an option.

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Anonymous wrote:We had combined finances, so yes we paid them off jointly.

+1.

+2

Us too.

Anonymous wrote:Single pot of money from which all bills got paid. There was no he paid vs she paid.

+1

There will be times when you each have to lean on the other. Over the course of a long relationship, the roles will change periodically. No one should keep score. It damages relationships.