Anonymous wrote:Glad to know I am not the only one who thinks that you’re welcome to come over is a blah way to invite someone over. I think it sounds like they could care less if you come or not. It gives me a feeling of no importance.

It's not really an invitation. You would say it only on a spur of the moment occasion. Sitting down at the beach, see a friend, and say "hey! you're welcome to join us!" They don't have to, but I'm letting them know they can if they want to. I don't think it's a "blah" invitation. I'd NEVER invite someone to dinner that way. I'd say, "Please come for dinner" letting them know I want them to come.

Anonymous wrote:Glad to know I am not the only one who thinks that you’re welcome to come over is a blah way to invite someone over. I think it sounds like they could care less if you come or not. It gives me a feeling of no importance.

I say "you're welcome to join us" when I see someone I know in a restaurant who is obviously alone. It's my way of asking them to join us but realizing they may not wish to. So it gives them an out. If I say "please join us" it's a bit more emphatic, and they might feel awkward saying no even if they wanted to eat all alone and not with us.

"you're welcome to come" sounds like ... you really, really are wanting to come, and I'm here to tell you, it's ok with me.

Host sounds arrogant.

I think "you're welcome to come" is an invitation that's not pushy. I think "I want you to come" is something you say to a relative or close friend. You wouldn't say that to an acquaintance or a neighbor.

"You're welcome to come" could be a grudging invitation but it all depends on context.

For me it context is important. Here is how I'd use both in a genuine manner.

Talking about the beach with a friend.
Me : we are headed there Saturday
Friend: oh nice im trying to figure out a day.
Me: well if you're free. I'd love for you to join us.

Not talking about beach and I bring it up out of no where

Me: we are headed to the beach Saturday. I'd love if you can join!

Anonymous wrote:To me "you're welcome to come/join" implies the person doesn't care either way if they come, while "I'd love for you to come" or "please join us" implies that the person is wanted there

+1

Glad to know I am not the only one who thinks that you’re welcome to come over is a blah way to invite someone over. I think it sounds like they could care less if you come or not. It gives me a feeling of no importance.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I often say "you are welcome to come" over "I want you to come"

We throw a lot of parties, so I feel like there is less pressure with the phrase "to are welcome to come."

For me "you are welcome" means "I'd love to see you but no pressure."

+1. I would say that if I wasn’t sure they’d want to participate.

"You're welcome to come" sounds like you already are going through with the plans regardless of whether they come or not. Your plans don't hinge on them. It also seems distant and not familiar with the person because no one really speaks like that. "You should come!" is more encouraging. "You're welcome to come" seems like you think they aren't going to come, like it's a half fake invitation.

Reminds me of my third wife.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most people don't choose their words that carefully.

This is something we as a society need to remember more. Most people talk in a stream of unconscious. There is a lot of anazlying things now a days since so much of our communication is via typed text so we can stare at it, pick it apart, and grade it. Don't do that. Most people mean positive undertones, just trust that.

+1

I would assume that if I were invited I was wanted.

I think this distinction actually matters. I noticed it when I had a friend who only said “if you want to come...”. She happened to be an insecure person and dealt with all social plans this way. It made me realize I need to be direct in letting someone know I WANT them to come and hope they can make it.

welcome to come means come if you want, we don't really care one way or the other.

Anonymous wrote:"You are welcome to come" most likely means that you will be gladly received. Not as much pressure as "I want you to come." Both are fine, both mean they like you, but one imposes a bit more than the other. Neither is wrong.

Agree. I say you’re welcome to come often because I don’t want them to feel obligated - especially if it’s a new friend.

I’m probably not as warm of a person as most, I can’t think of a time I’ve said “I want you to come” probably because I don’t want to impose or guilt anyone into attending. I usually say “your welcome to come” so that it’s completely the recipients decision and no ill will either way.