Frat boy....

Get a divorce now before kids. This will not get better. Get out now.

Don't get pregnant.
Tell him couples counseling and a change is necessary.
Give him a deadline.
If he doesn't want to change or agree to counseling, start over.

Sounds cold, but do you really want to live our your life as the one left behind? Most men would be wanting to spend time with you at this stage of life. Something is not right.

I feel the frustration in your words. It takes a lot of work to live happily ever after, and all couples from time to time hit bumps in the road. I can understand why you are feeling disconnected from your husband. Have you tried talking to your husband and telling him how his distance is making you feel? He might not be aware that this is creating distance in your marriage. If a good heart-to-heart doesn’t work, talking to others or seeking professional help can be a helpful next step. A good counselor might be able to give you some solid guidance. I think having date night once a week is a good start. That could be dinner at home together, talking to each other, or watching tv together. The good news is that this marital issue can be resolved through the hard work of both of you. Hang in there!

Anonymous wrote:No pp. Men are simple. They make time for a woman if they want to be with her.


A man

I disagree. What a man and a woman consider enough time together might not match. He spends some nights with her and Sunday afternoon... he might honk that’s enough... probably enough for him. She needs to speak up!!! He might be an ass and simply not care, but he may join st need to understand her needs better. Not ALL men are the same. My DH loves me and wants me all the time, but he is NOT a considerate or very empathetic person. He needs to set alarms on his phone to be reminded of calling me, or make plans because when I am not there in front of him he is usually thinking about something else. We lived together before getting married and it was an adjustment for both. Even more of an adjustment was when our first child was born. He worked all day and then wanted to go to the gym after work and would come home at 8:30-9. We fought and he understood. Now he goes at lunch. Everything was an adjustment... not all men dream about getting married, having kids and never have time for themselves again...

OP, are you American or foreign born? Arranged marriage? Virgin when you married? Doesn’t sound like you knew your husband very well when you married.

No pp. Men are simple. They make time for a woman if they want to be with her.


A man

Why are you not telling this to HIM? Why do you accept this situation that you are not happy with and cry in silence alone? If he is a good guy, he is not a mind reader and from my experience, men are often clueless and very simple. Explain what bothers you, make a plan that you are both comfortable with, if he loves you, he will stick to it. If he is NOT a good guy, you should have known better and get divorced.
I am appalled by how many weak and submissive women still exist out there. We are in the US and this is 2018. You have the right to speak to your husband... you now that right?

Do you guys have any shared interests? Are you any fun? Or are you just pouting and expecting him to hang out while you do nothing and complain?

My husband works long hours and an odd, not-9-to-5 shift to boot, but we both love the same sports, love to walk our dogs and do active things together. I don’t prevent him from seeing his friends and I don’t get upset when he chooses them if we aren’t going to be doing anything anyway. You sort of just speak in generalities like he’ll stay home and all of a sudden it will be this magic fun experience with you. Why would he stay home if you guys don’t have anything in common, or there’s not an activity on the agenda, or you’re just going to want to sit and scroll through Netflix?

Which isn’t to say you should be greeting him at home like some 1950’s housewife at his service but maybe take an honest look if staying home with you is actually an enticing scenario.

Anonymous wrote:Newlyweds?? Get a divorce. No kids ever with this man if you stick with this BS. He isn’t changing for you, right? You know this, but may not want to believe it.

+1. When you have kids, it'll get a million times worse. You'll be left taking care of your kids 24/7 while he was fun drinking and playing golf.