What does your spouse/partner want to do, OP? This is a family decision.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, if they are staying with you tell your sister one of the conditions is that she involve you in the meetings she attends with the hospital. Or that she sign a release of information authorization form and tell you the name of his social worker there so that you can call and say that you have safety concerns about his return to your home.

Based on all the posts here, though, it sounds like you have already decided that you are not comfortable with him in your home and want reassurance that is the right choice. All I can say to that is if he does not have a home to be released to, you need to tell your sister ASAP so she can inform the hospital and make her own plans. It is possible they may keep him longer, or it is possible they will have to get CPS involved if he doesn't have anywhere to go when he leaves.

No, not CPS b/c his mom isn't abusing him. Op, this sticky in the SN forum may be interesting to you and your sister:
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/590454.page

Hate autocorrect

Anonymous wrote:OP, if they are staying with you tell your sister one of the conditions is that she involve you in the meetings she attends with the hospital. Or that she sign a release of information authorization form and tell you the name of his social worker there so that you can call and say that you have safety concerns about his return to your home.

Based on all the posts here, though, it sounds like you have already decided that you are not comfortable with him in your home and want reassurance that is the right choice. All I can say to that is if he does not have a home to be released to, you need to tell your sister ASAP so she can inform the hospital and make her own plans. It is possible they may keep him longer, or it is possible they will have to get CPS involved if he doesn't have anywhere to go when he leaves.

No, not cops b/c his mom isn't abusing him. Op, this sticky in the SN forum may be interesting to you and your sister:
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/590454.page

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you describe does not sound like PTSD, OP. My oldest (combat vets) has PTSD. He doesn't hear voices. That's more schizophrenic type behavior.

He may have PTSD along with other conditions. Having been a victim of abuse, that is certainly a possibility. And auditory hallucinations are a symptom of PTSD. They may also be a symptom of a co morbid condition. OP doesn't seem to ha e a good handle on her nephews condition.

To be fair, these conditions are also difficult to differentiate from one another early in their onset, and in kids.

OP, sending all best wishes to your family and especially to this child and his mom.

Anonymous wrote:What you describe does not sound like PTSD, OP. My oldest (combat vets) has PTSD. He doesn't hear voices. That's more schizophrenic type behavior.

He may have PTSD along with other conditions. Having been a victim of abuse, that is certainly a possibility. And auditory hallucinations are a symptom of PTSD. They may also be a symptom of a co morbid condition. OP doesn't seem to ha e a good handle on her nephews condition.

What you describe does not sound like PTSD, OP. My oldest (combat vets) has PTSD. He doesn't hear voices. That's more schizophrenic type behavior.

^^and read what 8:59 posted, because everything is spot on. Remember this child is 10 years old. Very much still a young kid, and the symptoms he's exhibiting are very scary, both for him and his parent. He needs help.

The OP may well decide her home is not the best place for him, and that's fine. But as PPs have noted, her sister needs to know that NOW, so that she can find a new place.

And 20:15, please f*ck off in suggesting that I would gloss over sexual abuse with kindness. Seriously. I've worked with kids who have been sexually abused; I know the lifetime sequelae far more than most. You should be embarrassed to have posed such an offensive, baseless question to a complete stranger.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If someone is hearing voices it would be schitzophernia not PTSD.

They don't diagnose Schizophrenia in children until 18

Yes they do. It’s very rare but it happens.

Auditory hallucinations are not the same as schizophrenia, though. They can happen outside of that diagnosis.

OP, please be kind. People struggling with psychiatric diseases and abuse go through enough. Being alienated and shamed doesn't help. I get the desire to protect your kids, and you absolutely need to do that, but please try to learn from your nephew's providers what you can and keep an open mind.

If this child was sexually abusing other kids in the home, would you suggest this "Be kind" approach? OP has no clue really the background of this child except what she's seen and what she's heard. I understand being kind, but OP has responsibility of her own to protect her children as well.
OP, I dont get the sense you're alienating him, I do feel you're just trying to be educated

Of course not, and show me where I said anything of the kind. I SAID she absolutely needs to protect her kids. Where you do get that this kid is sexually abusing other kids? What was the purpose of your comment?

OP, if they are staying with you tell your sister one of the conditions is that she involve you in the meetings she attends with the hospital. Or that she sign a release of information authorization form and tell you the name of his social worker there so that you can call and say that you have safety concerns about his return to your home.

Based on all the posts here, though, it sounds like you have already decided that you are not comfortable with him in your home and want reassurance that is the right choice. All I can say to that is if he does not have a home to be released to, you need to tell your sister ASAP so she can inform the hospital and make her own plans. It is possible they may keep him longer, or it is possible they will have to get CPS involved if he doesn't have anywhere to go when he leaves.

Anonymous wrote:Recently, my sister and my nephew left their house in California to come live with me. She's leaving her husband of 10 years. Her son is 10 years old.

He's always had behavioral issues. He is an only child. My cousin babies him often and he usually gets his way. He's been suspended from school in california for bringing a knife to school.

Fast forward to this month. They have been living with me for 2 months now. Recently, he was put in a child mental hospital because he was diagnosed with PTSD. He was going in and out of his "mind" saying he was hearing voices, hitting his head, saying there was someone inside his head trying to kill him. At the hospital they had to restrain him.
He said his Dad physically abused him and apparently my sister said she never knew.
He threatened to kill himself several times at my house and was violent to my cousin and himself.

He's spent a week in Childrens Hospital Mental department and will be set to be cleared going home on Saturday.
I have three kids of my own.
Am I being a bitch to be nervous that he's not exactly 'better" in a week? My sister seems to think everything is great now and hasn't said much about what his diagnosis is or what the plan is for him when he comes home.

A week is about the typical amount of time for inpatient. In fact most around here are five days. The goal is stabilization not cure.

You say you don’t know much about the discharge but in fact you do. He is going into outpatient psych treatment and he is going into a special school program. I am sure he is also set up with an outpatient psychiatrist and will see that doctor within 30 days - it’s the standard in this area. I’m calling you out on this because you named the hospital and then put on a public forum that they discharge plan was unsafe.

I don’t know what the right thing is for you and your family. But a lot of people here are reacting to your description of the discharge plan as nothing more than a recommendation for yoga and that is disingenuous on your part.

Frankly your sister probably has very little information for you. Everything in her world as she knew it has changed and very quickly. It’s scary when your child becomes violent and when he wants to or tries to kill himself. There is nothing that has made me feel more helpless than knowing that I can’t keep my son safe.

And as far as the PP who mentioned chores and other parenting related things, life has changed and parenting has to change with the realities of adjusting to the mental illness. I imagine your sister will be walking on eggshells for awhile until she figures it out.

As I said I don’t know what’s right for your family. But I hope if you ask your sister to leave that you are gentle on her and support her as you can. Mental illness is not like cancer. She won’t have people showing up with dinner or offering to walk her dog. By the second or third hospitalization people won’t want to hear about it anymore. Her job will suffer because it requires a lot of time off from work. She’ll probably lose what friends she has because she won’t have time and when she does she’ll want to talk about her son and people won’t want to hear it. Financially she will take a hit because even if insurance covers 100%, there is the expense of travel to appointments and the inevitable quick stops for food.

I wish the best for your family. It is a long, hard and lonely road ahead.

Anonymous wrote:If your nephew is living with you and your children, I think you have a right to know what the go-forward treatment plan is.

My elementary aged son was in a mental hospital for 2 weeks. After discharge, he spent a week in their partial hospitalization program. Then after success there, he was released to our local team.

For context, in patient was 12 hours of therapy a day, PHP was 6 hours per day, and the local team is 3 hours per week. In addition to the continued therapy my son is receiving, I have a parent meeting once a week. Our other child also meets with a psychologist to talk about her fears, anxiety, concerns, how she is feeling, etc. An issue of this magnitude impacts everyone in the household.

His local team consists of a psychologist and a psychiatrist. They meet weekly to discuss any changes. As things evolve, his teachers at school are also looped in or they reach out to the therapists if they need additional support in the classroom.

Yoga is not going to cut it. A crisis prevention and de-escalation plan are not enough. That is dealing with the issue in the moment. Of course when something happens, that's what needs to be addressed. But the bigger issue is the long term work that needs to be done so that crisis' don't occur and there isn't a need to de-escalate.

I would not be comfortable bringing a child without a solid plan and support team into my home.

This is exactly what the plan should be he. He needs more aggressive care and not just once a week therapy. He also need to be able to take part in decisions and boundaries he's given. I would also feel uncomfortable with him in my home- but the important part is to make sure the kids aren't alone with him.

Anonymous wrote:I know this is mean, but I wouldn’t want that kid near my kids. What if he hurts them or mimics whatever physical or sexual abuse he suffered? I think your sister and nephew need a new place to live. Crazy people don’t get better in a week without lots of meds.

“crazy” people don’t get better in a week even with a lot of meds.

Op, what is your sister’s transition plan to get a place of her own? If she doesn’t have the resources to live independently with her son any time soon and you are uncomfortable with them living there, then she may need to look for a therapeutic boarding school that the state will pay for. This will probably be a long process including applying for a Medicare waiver.

It’s not a forgone conclusion that he will hurt anyone. However, your sister needs to start dealing in reality.

Anonymous wrote:I know this is mean, but I wouldn’t want that kid near my kids. What if he hurts them or mimics whatever physical or sexual abuse he suffered? I think your sister and nephew need a new place to live. Crazy people don’t get better in a week without lots of meds.

agree. A week in a mental hospital does not seem like enough time to help this child

I know this is mean, but I wouldn’t want that kid near my kids. What if he hurts them or mimics whatever physical or sexual abuse he suffered? I think your sister and nephew need a new place to live. Crazy people don’t get better in a week without lots of meds.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If someone is hearing voices it would be schitzophernia not PTSD.

They don't diagnose Schizophrenia in children until 18

Yes they do. It’s very rare but it happens.

Auditory hallucinations are not the same as schizophrenia, though. They can happen outside of that diagnosis.

OP, please be kind. People struggling with psychiatric diseases and abuse go through enough. Being alienated and shamed doesn't help. I get the desire to protect your kids, and you absolutely need to do that, but please try to learn from your nephew's providers what you can and keep an open mind.

If this child was sexually abusing other kids in the home, would you suggest this "Be kind" approach? OP has no clue really the background of this child except what she's seen and what she's heard. I understand being kind, but OP has responsibility of her own to protect her children as well.
OP, I dont get the sense you're alienating him, I do feel you're just trying to be educated