My non-partying child, engineering major with a 3.7 GPA says he is usually in the library 3 to 9 on Sundays. You have unrealistic expectations.

When I was in college I was usually at the library or at the big study table at my sorority house around 12-1pm on Sat and Sunday. No need to start early - we didn’t start getting dressed to go out until 8-9pm and didn’t leave the house until 10-11pm.

I never studied Fri/Sat night. I graduated with a decent GPA with a BS in engineering from a top 25 school in my major.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t expect her to be in library Fri night, Sat day and Sun morning. But at least one of the above would be mature, esp a student who’s overwhelmed.

But why? Why does it matter if she’s studying from 1-6:30Pm on Sundays instead of 8 to 1:30? Or are you saying you expect her to spend more than 5-6hours in the library on one day? Because that’s not healthy, nor is it a good studying technique/habit.

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Anonymous wrote:I never studied in the library at college. But occasionally I would do so class reading there because of the nice smoking lounge and a coffee machine.

We all use the find my family app, so it’s not like she’s just not in one of many libraries (or study spots), she’s barely studying.

O.k. this is creepy. I can't imagine tracking my college kid like that. Your assumptions based on this tracking may not even be accurate. I know that I studied in my dorm and sometimes even outside sitting on the grass. A picnic table on a pretty day was a great place to study.

It’s not creepy, it’s new normal. All of her friends know her every move on Snapchat GPS and family in find my family. And every app you have knows even more. Maybe you’re just a luddite. It allows us to piece together an accurate picture of her actions. She’s not studying enough.

Anyways, I was just trying to figure out when most kids crack the books on a Sunday. Thanks.

NP. It is 100% creepy. What happens when she spends the night out of her dorm room? Do you watch the next week to make sure she gets to Planned Parenthood or CVS for her Plan B? Gross.

Hee hee

You need to let it go... but I would say working from 4-11 is a normal college schedule for Sunday.

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Anonymous wrote:I never studied in the library at college. But occasionally I would do so class reading there because of the nice smoking lounge and a coffee machine.

We all use the find my family app, so it’s not like she’s just not in one of many libraries (or study spots), she’s barely studying.

O.k. this is creepy. I can't imagine tracking my college kid like that. Your assumptions based on this tracking may not even be accurate. I know that I studied in my dorm and sometimes even outside sitting on the grass. A picnic table on a pretty day was a great place to study.

It’s not creepy, it’s new normal. All of her friends know her every move on Snapchat GPS and family in find my family. And every app you have knows even more. Maybe you’re just a luddite. It allows us to piece together an accurate picture of her actions. She’s not studying enough.

Anyways, I was just trying to figure out when most kids crack the books on a Sunday. Thanks.

NP. It is 100% creepy. What happens when she spends the night out of her dorm room? Do you watch the next week to make sure she gets to Planned Parenthood or CVS for her Plan B? Gross.

I'm about the biggest fan of libraries you could ever find. Due to the weird quirks of life, I have spent a significant portion of my life in libraries (including working in one during college). I never associated my college library as a place to study, but rather as a place to do research. If I wanted to study, I'd use a study room in my dorm, or my dorm room, or sometimes late at night a corner alcove near the elevator. The library was not designed to be the primary study space for all the students - there simply wouldn't have been enough space.

I grew up with parents who were excessively, unbelievably overprotective. I have frequently been accused of being overprotective myself (although far less so than them). It never would have occurred to my parents to ask where I was studying. I don't care where my daughter (currently a college spphomore is studying). I certainly don't track her location via GPS apps. This seems really creepy and stalkerish. The only reason I can see a parent wanting to LoJack their kids is if they have safety concerns and want to be able to locate the child in an emergency. I still think that's excessive and unnecessary, but understandable.

Her physical location has absolutely nothing to do with whether she is studying. If I were her I would hide my phone behind some rarely used books in the stacks so my mother thinks I’m at the library, and get on with my life.

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Anonymous wrote:My weekdays were for academics and weekends were for relaxing when I was in college. I couldn't maintain the pace and would get burned out quickly if I didn't have the weekends to relax. On Sunday night I would write papers or whatever, but needed a block of time without academics. I did fine in college.

This.

I worked during the weekends and some weeknights. I'm pretty sure I did schoolwork every place it fit in. Plus a sport. Being busy helped me manage my time. Encourage your kid to get a job at the library.

Anonymous wrote:You need to let go

Exactly. This is extreme helicoptering & will only drive her away.

I don’t expect her to be in library Fri night, Sat day and Sun morning. But at least one of the above would be mature, esp a student who’s overwhelmed.

Anonymous wrote:My weekdays were for academics and weekends were for relaxing when I was in college. I couldn't maintain the pace and would get burned out quickly if I didn't have the weekends to relax. On Sunday night I would write papers or whatever, but needed a block of time without academics. I did fine in college.

This.

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Anonymous wrote:Op, sleeping in on the weekends is a given. I see no reason she should have to get up early on a Sunday to study, if she has the rest of the day/night free.

Well if you also know she did nothing academic Friday nights and all day on Saturdays it becomes very concerning.

She's in college. Why would any of you know whether your kid is doing anything "academic"??

Because we’re writing $30,000 checks twice a year. And she already expressed academic strain.

I still maintain that your level of surveillance on a college student is crazy. You're well within your right to set a line in the sand but she needs to face natural consequences or she will never learn.

I know times have changed, but my parents had no clue how I spent my time in college. They expected decent grades but they weren’t about to plan out my schedule for me.

Times have certainly changed. A year of college costs a bit more than wages from a summer gig. And so many have a bachelors degree, you need to take studies seriously to differentiate yourself.

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Anonymous wrote:Op, sleeping in on the weekends is a given. I see no reason she should have to get up early on a Sunday to study, if she has the rest of the day/night free.

Well if you also know she did nothing academic Friday nights and all day on Saturdays it becomes very concerning.

She's in college. Why would any of you know whether your kid is doing anything "academic"??

Because we’re writing $30,000 checks twice a year. And she already expressed academic strain.

I would say call that an adjustment period before panicking and calling it academic strain.

Sometimes inattentive ADHD shows up very late, in college. Do you think this might be a concern? It has to do with slow processing and difficulties with multitasking, self-initiation of tasks, and time-management. This can only be resolved by medication, OP. She would need to be diagnosed by a competent psychiatrist, not the campus doctor, and have a cardiac check-up before taking stimulant medication.

My weekdays were for academics and weekends were for relaxing when I was in college. I couldn't maintain the pace and would get burned out quickly if I didn't have the weekends to relax. On Sunday night I would write papers or whatever, but needed a block of time without academics. I did fine in college.